What Does Not Kill Us
by Drogna
Summary: COMPLETE. Trip is kidnapped when Enterprise answers a distress call. Can Enterprise find him and will he ever be the same again?
1. Chapter 1

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Author's Note: This story is one I've been tossing around in my head for a while. It gets quite dark in places so be warned.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Hoshi Sato, Malcolm Reed, Travis Mayweather and Trip Tucker sat around a table in the empty mess hall. Before them on the table was an arrangement of small white tiles with patterns on them. In front of each of them was a rack with a few of the same tiles sat on it. Malcolm, Hoshi and Travis had been trying to think up things to keep Commander Tucker's mind off his insomnia and this was Hoshi's contribution to the plan.  
  
"What did you say this game was called, Hoshi?" asked Travis.  
  
"Mah Jongg," said Hoshi.  
  
"Can we start again? I think I got lost somewhere between the dragons and the bamboo," said Trip.  
  
"Okay, the object of the game is to collect three of a kind or four of a kind until you have discarded all your tiles," said Hoshi, as if she was explaining something to a small child. "There are three suits, Characters, Circles and Bamboo. Winds and Dragons get you extra points. If your hand has certain combinations then you get even more points, for example, if you collect all one suit. But I'll explain those once we've played a hand."  
  
"And a dragon is one of these funny green patterns?" asked Malcolm.  
  
"That's a green dragon. This is a red one," said Hoshi holding up a red symbol, "and this is a white dragon." She found a white dragon in the pile of tiles and pulled it out to show them.  
  
"None of those look like dragons to me, Hoshi," said Trip.  
  
"And I suppose an ace of spades looks like a spade?" said Hoshi.  
  
"She has a point there, we don't even call a spade a spade," said Malcolm, grinning.  
  
"I suppose not," said Trip. "Okay, so we pick up a tile and then discard one?"  
  
"Yes but you can also Chow, Pung and Kong," said Hoshi.  
  
"This is sounding really complicated," said Travis. He was beginning to wish that he hadn't agreed to learn this game, but Hoshi had been so excited about teaching it to them that he would have felt mean turning her down.  
  
"Sounds like the menu at a Chinese restaurant to me," added Trip.  
  
"Commander," said Hoshi in an exasperated tone, giving him her "be serious" look.  
  
"Sorry Hoshi," said Trip in a more contrite tone.  
  
"My grandmother taught me this game when I was seven, I'm sure that three Star Fleet officers can manage to learn it," said Hoshi.  
  
"The problem is that we're Star Fleet officers who don't read Chinese," said Malcolm.  
  
The com sounded "Archer to Commander Tucker."  
  
Trip went to answer it. "Yes, Captain, what can I do for you?"  
  
"Trip, I'm sorry to do this, I know you're off duty, but could you come to the bridge? We've just received a distress call and we could do with your expertise," said Archer.  
  
"No problem, sir, I'm on my way," said Trip.  
  
"Are Travis, Hoshi and Malcolm with you?" asked their Captain.  
  
"Yes, sir," replied Trip.  
  
"We could use their help too, if they're up for it," said Archer.  
  
"I'm sure they will be, just give us a moment to put away the Mah Jongg," smiled Trip turning around to look at the relieved faces of Malcolm and Travis, and the disappointed face of Hoshi.  
  
"The Mah what?" said Archer.  
  
"I'll explain later, Captain," replied Trip with a grin.  
  
"Okay, Archer out."  
  
"You're not off the hook you know," said Hoshi. "Once this is all sorted out, you all have a date with me and my Mah Jongg set."  
  
"Okay Hoshi, I promise we'll play later," said Trip. "Come on the Captain's waiting for us."  
  
****  
  
The ship sat dead in space. There were life signs and the distress signal was working, but life support was at a low level and the engines were off line. The hull material was something that they hadn't come across before and was making it difficult to take accurate scans, so it was hard to tell how many life signs there were and exactly where on the ship they were.  
  
"Have we been able to identify them?" asked Archer.  
  
"Not as yet, Captain," said T'Pol. "They appear to be a race which we haven't previously encountered."  
  
"Are you having any luck hailing them?" Archer asked Hoshi.  
  
"No sir, I'm trying all frequencies but I've had no reply so far," said Hoshi, her eyes fixed on her console.  
  
"How about the distress call?" Archer asked the linguist.  
  
"The Universal Translator had it correctly. It just keeps repeating "This is a general distress call. Our ship is badly damaged, we are in need of technical assistance." It's being broadcast on a wide band of frequencies," said Hoshi.  
  
"Captain, looks like they could do with an engineer," said Trip good naturedly. "Permission to take a shuttle pod to the other ship."  
  
A few months ago Archer wouldn't have hesitated to let Trip take a shuttle pod and go and offer his assistance to the stricken ship, but now they were in the Expanse there was the mission to consider and everything had taken on a more sinister outlook. Even taking that into account, Archer couldn't ignore a distress call. Especially since if a passing ship hadn't answered Enterprise's distress call they'd still be limping home after sustaining damage in a Romulan mine field.  
  
"Permission granted, but I want you to take Lieutenant Reed and one of the Marines, just in case this turns out to be more than it looks," said Archer.  
  
"Wouldn't have it any other way, sir," said Trip as he and Malcolm headed for the turbo lift.  
  
****  
  
Trip piloted the shuttle to the other ship. He was the most qualified pilot of the three of them, although Malcolm could just as easily have done the job. Trip liked to fly the shuttle to keep his hand in and he didn't see why one of the privileges of rank shouldn't be that he got to do the flying. Jon did it to him all the time. Admittedly a shuttle pod wasn't exactly as much fun as some of the things he'd flown over the years but then the shuttle pod was all they had.  
  
Trip docked the shuttle as gently as he could. They had no idea as yet what awaited them inside the ship. It showed no external signs of damage but the scans could always miss something and the last thing they wanted to do was make matters worse by jarring something loose. As it was the hatch refused to open and Trip had to spend a couple of minutes hot wiring the controls before they could work the airlock.  
  
Once they were inside the ship, it was obvious that the ship had been put on low power and minimal life support, although the air was breathable, it wasn't very warm.  
  
"I'm beginning to wish we'd brought Hoshi," said Trip looking at the writing on one of the corridors. The UT was having considerable trouble working it out. Hoshi had programmed it with everything that she knew about the alien language but that wasn't much and a written language wasn't the same as a spoken one.  
  
"She'd only give us a lecture about how dense we are when it comes to learning Chinese board games," said Reed ruefully.  
  
"Chinese board games?" asked Corporal Romero.  
  
"Mah Jongg," said Trip.  
  
"What's Mah Jongg?" asked the bemused Marine.  
  
"Believe me, Corporal, you don't want to know," said Reed.  
  
"To be honest, I'd rather have Hoshi, lectures and all," sighed Trip as the UT made another futile stab at the sign. "Let's try this way," he suggested pointing down a corridor. The ship had a definite air of age about it and the bulk heads looked as if they had seem better days. In fact Trip was certain that in some places there were patches of rust, something that appalled him as an engineer but he also found alarming. The people on this vessel placed their life in the hands of the space-worthiness of the ship and Trip wasn't sure that he would have wanted to do that. He hoped that the engines were in a better condition otherwise he didn't hold out much hope of fixing them.  
  
There was no sign of the people who were supposed to be on the ship. As they navigated through the corridors they kept their eyes open for any sign of occupation but so far they hadn't even found a cold cup of coffee, or whatever the alien equivalent of coffee was. Eventually they came across the engine room.  
  
"Okay," said Trip, "I think I'd better get started on this, it could take me a while to figure out. Perhaps you two had better see if you can find the bridge and our missing aliens."  
  
"Right," said the Lieutenant. "But I want you to check in with us every thirty minutes. And keep your phaser handy."  
  
"Fine," said Trip, but Reed could see that his mind was already on the engines and not on his two escorts. "Let me know how you get on." With that he went to investigate one of the control panels on the wall beside the engine housing.  
  
Reed and Corporal Romero left Trip to see what he could do about the power and engines and went exploring. They were about twenty minutes away from engineering when Trip worked out how to restore the life support systems to full power and they felt a breeze blowing through the corridors. Reed silently thanked the engineer for his fine skills and hoped he'd work out how to get the lights up to full power as well soon. Running around in a half-lit ship with an unknown number of aliens aboard who may or may not be hostile was not Reed's idea of good odds.  
  
They were cautiously investigation a series of cargo bays when Corporal Romero heard a noise. At first Reed couldn't pick it out but as they moved down the corridor towards the last cargo bay it got louder and louder. Someone was banging on the door from the inside.  
  
"What the hell?" asked Reed. He motioned to the Corporal to take up position to one side of the door and cover him as he opened the hatch. Reed threw open the door and aimed his phaser around the door frame. The scene which met him was not at all what he had expected. Inside the cargo bay were about six or seven aliens. They had copper coloured skin and were tall and very thin. Or perhaps it was more that their bone structure seemed to be very light, Reed couldn't decide.  
  
The problem now was that he and Corporal Romero were covering seven aliens with only two phase pistols and all the aliens were trying to talk at once which was overloading the UT. The UT suddenly made a hideous squawking sound which shut the aliens up almost immediately. Reed decided to take advantage of the opportunity and get some of his own questions in, in the hope that they had some translation device which could interpret for them.  
  
"I'm Lieutenant Reed from the starship Enterprise. We came to help you. Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
One of the aliens stepped forward and said something in his own language. Reed pointed the UT at him and hoped that he would say enough that the UT would start working soon. Eventually it got there but only after Reed had repeated his question and a few more and the alien had talked for a bit longer. The whole procedure took about twenty minutes.  
  
"My name is Iot, this is our ship. We were attacked by some," here the alien used a proper name that the UT couldn't translate, "who boarded our ship and locked us in here. We don't know why. We're not carrying any cargo, we're a missionary ship on our way to Eridani Signus 5 and have no weapons."  
  
"Who did you say you were attacked by?" asked Reed. The alien answered but again the UT squawked an incoherent sound out. "Perhaps you could describe them to us?" asked Reed. "For example they didn't have boney bumps on their forehead?" Reed was hoping and praying that they weren't going to have to contend with Klingons in the Expanse as well as everything, but this attack was exactly their style. They had been being chased by Klingons when they entered the Expanse and it would not have surprised Reed if the Klingons had eventually worked up the courage to follow Enterprise into the Expanse.  
  
"No," said the alien. "They were more like insects."  
  
"Xindi," said Reed and Romero together.  
  
"Yes, they call themselves Xindi," said the alien, the UT finally taking that moment to work out what the proper name meant. "We haven't heard them leave yet," added the alien.  
  
"Trip," said Reed anxiously, pulling out his communicator. "Reed to Commander Tucker."  
  
"Tucker here, what's up Malcolm, I only checked in ten minutes ago," said Trip. Which was true, he had checked in while they'd been trying to decipher the alien's language.  
  
"Commander, the ship was attacked by the Xindi. I want you to drop whatever you're doing, we're coming to get you, we think they may still be on board."  
  
Trip didn't answer. "Commander!" shouted Reed into the communicator. Reed set off at a flat-out sprint towards engineering, followed by Romero a few steps behind him. Please don't let anything have happened to Trip, prayed Reed silently as he ran. It took them a few moments to get back to engineering and then find the exact area that Trip had been working in. His tools sat open on the deck, but the Commander was nowhere to be seen. At least he hadn't been lying dead on the floor when they arrived thought Reed, who was always thankful for small mercies, even if they were very small.  
  
The two humans quickly searched the whole of engineering without success, Trip was not there.  
  
"Lieutenant!" called Romero. "I think I've found something."  
  
Reed came over and Romero pointed to two spots of something red on the bulkhead. It was blood, it had to be Trip's blood. Only a small amount though, not enough to be life threatening. Another small mercy, thought Reed, hopefully they would all add up. The blood drops continued down the bulk head and through one of the hatches. By the hatch lay Trip's communicator.  
  
"This way," said Reed and led Romero out of engineering and back towards the docking ports. Something shook the deck. "That felt like a shuttle docking," said Reed. Then he corrected himself, "or undocking." How had he been so stupid? Of course the Xindi would head straight for the docking ports. "Reed to Enterprise," he said into the communicator.  
  
"Enterprise, how's it going over there?" asked Archer.  
  
"I don't have time to go into detail now, but there's a shuttle taking off from the ship and I have reason to believe that they have taken Commander Tucker with them against his will," said Reed, quickly.  
  
"Understood, Lieutenant," said Archer.  
  
"One other thing, we think that they're Xindi," said Reed.  
  
"Acknowledged, Lieutenant," replied Archer. He knew he'd get the full story from Malcolm soon but now they had to stop that shuttle and there was no point in asking questions which he didn't need to know the answers to.  
  
Reed could hear Archer order the Armoury officer on duty to target the shuttle's engines over the open com link. Then he heard T'Pol say something impossible.  
  
"They have gone to warp," said T'Pol.  
  
"They can't have," he heard himself say, but he knew that if T'Pol said they had gone to warp then that is exactly what had happened. They had gone to warp and taken Trip with them.  
  
**** 


	2. Chapter 2

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Reed and Romero returned to Enterprise as quickly as they could, not even bothering to say goodbye to the aliens. They made their way to the bridge.  
  
"What happened over there?" asked Archer.  
  
"We boarded the vessel and found engineering fairly quickly, so we left Commander Tucker effecting repairs while we searched for the biosigns we had detected," said Reed. "We found the owners of the ship locked in one of the cargo bays. They told us the ship had been attacked and they were locked in the cargo bay by the attackers. The Universal Translator had trouble with the language and that took a while to get through and then it struggled with the name of who they'd been attacked by. They neglected to mention the fact that the intruders were still there. We immediately contacted the Commander, he answered but then broke off. He didn't answer any more of our hails. By the time we got down to engineering Commander Tucker had gone. We followed him to the docking ports and felt the shuttle lifting off which was when we contacted you."  
  
"T'Pol, can you track them?" asked Archer.  
  
"Perhaps," said T'Pol, "but I will need a little time."  
  
"Don't take too long, Sub-commander," said Archer. "How was a ship the size of that shuttle able to go to warp?"  
  
"I think we can assume that the Xindi have superior technology in a number of areas," said T'Pol.  
  
"This must have been a trap," said Reed. "They knew that we would answer that distress call and take our Engineer with us. They wanted Commander Tucker."  
  
"Let's not jump to conclusions Lieutenant, so far this is just a coincidence," said Archer.  
  
"Sir, if they didn't know who he was then they would have just killed him," said Reed in a very insubordinate tone. Reed knew what that meant for Trip and he was sure Archer would too. The Xindi wanted information and they wouldn't be worried if they had to hurt Trip to get it.  
  
Archer's face lost its colour. "The Xindi obviously want technical information on Enterprise. Who better to provide them with that than the Chief Engineer. T'Pol we need to track that ship now!"  
  
"I have isolated the ion trail of the Xindi warp engine," said T'Pol, "I believe we can follow it."  
  
"Mayweather, set a course as per the Sub-commander's instructions," said Archer.  
  
"Yes, sir," said Mayweather.  
  
****  
  
Trip had been working on getting the engines online when Reed had called him. Reed said something about stopping whatever he was doing and then Trip's world went dark. When he woke up again he knew he wasn't on the alien ship anymore. His head hurt like hell, which he knew meant that someone had decided to knock him unconscious. He hoped he didn't have a concussion because that would have just added insult to injury. He tried to move, but after careful testing he found his arms had been tied behind his back at the wrists and his legs were tied at the ankles. The bindings were tight and bit into his skin.  
  
"He's awake," said a voice. Trip prised his eyes open and blinked to clear the fog. He looked up from the floor into the face of a Xindi reptilian. He wished to the bottom of his heart that it hadn't been a Xindi he had opened his eyes to.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" asked Trip, indignantly.  
  
"Shut up, human," said the Xindi.  
  
"Enterprise will be following us you know," said Trip, "you can't grab the Chief Engineer of a starship and expect to get away with it."  
  
"We expect them to follow us, human," said another voice, this was a Xindi humanoid. It was just then that Trip noticed through the window that they were approaching another ship. Trip felt his heart sink, Enterprise could follow an ion trail but if they changed ships Enterprise wouldn't know which of the two trails to follow. An engineer knew that all ion trails were slightly different, changed by the engines that produced them, but he couldn't guarantee that Enterprise would think of it. T'Pol would work it out, thought Trip, she had to.  
  
****  
  
T'Pol had indeed worked out that all ion trails had their own signature. Each engine was tuned slightly differently and produced slightly different impurities in the ion trail. The only problem was that the ion trail of the Xindi ship led to a space port. Hundreds of ships docked with the space port every day and so many ships meant that the ion trail would disappear into a mass of other ion trails. If space was a pond then the waters had been well and truly muddied.  
  
"What do we do now, Sub-commander?" asked Archer. He and T'Pol were standing in his ready room. Archer was staring out of the window at the busy space port that they were moored at.  
  
"I believe that I can discern the ion trail we are looking for with some analysis but we have no guarantee that they did not transfer Commander Tucker to another ship. I suggest that we question the local merchants to find out whether they have seen any Xindi here," said T'Pol.  
  
"T'Pol, they've already had Trip for five days. We've got to find him soon," said Archer.  
  
"I have asked Lieutenant Reed to prepare a security report on how Commander Tucker's technical knowledge could be used against us," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer nodded miserably. As much as he knew Trip wouldn't give them any information willingly, Archer doubted that he could hold out forever. Archer knew that writing the report wouldn't be a pleasant task for Reed either, he and Trip had become very close. Archer couldn't think of a worse thing to ask the armoury officer to do. Unfortunately he also couldn't think of a better man for the job and they had to know just how much trouble this could place them in. To T'Pol he said "Assemble an away team, I want to know everything about any Xindi ships that have come through here, where they were going and where they came from."  
  
To himself he said, "just hold on a little while longer, Trip."  
  
Reed sat in his cabin writing the hated report. He could have done it in the armoury but somehow he felt this required the privacy of his quarters. The worst thing about it was that he knew Trip would hold out for as long as he could no matter what it cost him.  
  
Everyone had been on edge recently. Hoshi had snapped at him that morning at breakfast, Mayweather had just pushed his food around his plate. Reed looked down at the padd. There are days when I hate my job, I hate putting duty in front of my friendship for Trip and I hate the fact that I have to think about how much Trip could tell an enemy under torture. I should be on the space station with T'Pol shaking down the lowlifes for information about Trip. He dropped the padd on his desk, he'd finish it later. Right now he needed to be doing something less cerebral, he hoped that T'Pol wouldn't mind his tagging along on her away mission, because he was going whether she wanted him or not.  
  
****  
  
Trip thought that he'd been on the Xindi ship for five days, it was hard to judge because there was no day and night cycle that he could work from. His Xindi captors had transferred him to a larger ship and then they had obviously decided to start on extracting the information they had come for. They had dragged him out of his cell and beaten him until he lost consciousness. They had wanted to know about Enterprise's engines. When he had refused to tell them about the engines they asked him about the weapons.  
  
His interrogators varied, they each seemed to have their own specialities, some of them liked to hit, others liked to break things. They all wanted to know the same things. How far could Enterprise travel? How fast could it go? How long did it take to start the warp reactor from cold? What was the range of the torpedoes? Just answer one question they said and we'll stop. We don't want to hurt you, but our superiors haven't given us any choice, we have to get this information and this is the only way we know. Make things easy on yourself, just give us one fact. Every time he didn't answer they hit him again.  
  
Trip said nothing, he knew better than to even give in on one thing. Once you gave in on one thing it became easier and easier to tell them other things, things that would harm Enterprise in a big way. He was pretty sure that they must know what Enterprise's top speed was, but if he'd tell them that, then they knew it would only be a matter of time before he'd tell them the more important stuff. Apart from exclamations of pain and the odd expletive, he kept his mouth shut. After five days of beatings he was beginning to wonder why they didn't just give up and kill him.  
  
His cell was cold. He knew they had carefully calculated the temperature so that he wouldn't die of hypothermia but so that he wouldn't be comfortable. They gave him a little food and a little water each day, again just enough to keep him alive but enough so that he also knew he was starving and dehydrated. Some days just moving enough to get the food to his mouth was almost too much pain to endure, but something inside him told him he needed the food to keep his strength up. Sleeping was hard. Getting comfortable enough to sleep was almost impossible with the number of bruises that he was collecting. They hadn't provided him with a bed or any blankets so the hard floor was all he had.  
  
He was fairly sure that they'd broken a rib on the second day of beating him, that had been the most painful part of his experience until day four when they had broken his right arm. He really thought that he would die at that point, or maybe he only wanted to die. They had worked out early on the fifth day that the broken arm was very painful for him even if they only squeezed it. When they hit it he passed out and woke up back in his cell again.  
  
He lay on the floor, shivered and carefully pulled the broken arm into a less painful position. He had tried to set it himself but it was just too painful to manipulate it, he suspected that it was a compound fracture. The only saving grace was that the bones hadn't broken the skin. Come on Jon, he thought. I know Enterprise must be looking for me. Just look a little harder. Hoshi'll kill me if I don't turn up to make up her Mah Jongg four soon. She'd been so intent on teaching them that damn Chinese game and he'd been so flippant about it. He was regretting that now and for the first time he realised that that regret could possibly be because he might not ever see his friends and Enterprise again. He tried not to think like that though, if he started that line of thought it led to despair and if that happened he'd never get through this.  
  
He seemed to be cocooned in a haze of red pain. He took stock of his injuries. None of them were life threatening, or at least not yet. He wasn't breathing well, but that was probably due to the broken rib. The arm hurt but it wasn't going to kill him. His face was a mass of bruises, as was most of his body, and he bled from several cuts. There were burns as well, he didn't like to think about those too hard, they'd hurt too much at the time and thinking about them brought back the memory of pain. The problem was he could feel himself getting weaker everyday, if he stood any chance of getting out of here he needed to move soon.  
  
**** 


	3. Chapter 3

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Hoshi sat in her quarters looking at the oblong red box on her desk. It contained her Mah Jongg set. It had sat there ever since she'd been summoned to the bridge with Malcolm, Travis and Trip, she hadn't had time to put it away on her way to the bridge. Since then she just hadn't wanted to put it away. Somehow if she put it away it would have definitely meant that one of the four who played that day wasn't coming back; she couldn't imagine the ship without Trip, so she hadn't put it away. If he was coming back though why did she have an empty ache inside her that refused to go away?  
  
They were all worried, Malcolm had an almost haunted look about him. Hoshi remembered their discussion at lunch a few days ago about his and T'Pol's futile efforts to find out information about the Xindi ship from the merchants on the space station. Hoshi could see the frustration and mounting despair behind his eyes as he told her what had happened. No one wanted to talk to them, they had all already been warned off by the Xindi or they really knew nothing. Malcolm hadn't given up though, he'd gone back to the station twice more before he'd found the Jorgan merchant.  
  
They had helped the Jorgans* before against the Xindi and Reed knew that the Jorgans had no love for the Xindi, although the political situation was complicated by the Jorgan's relations with their own colonies who had sided with the Xindi in a previous war. The merchant Reed found was from the home world though so was therefore definitely of the opinion that all Xindi were bad. The merchant had given them some pointers about where to find the Xindi ship. He'd heard about a Xindi outpost not far from the space port, he thought that's where they would take Trip and Reed thought it seemed likely. The only problem was that the outpost was further into Xindi territory and two month's journey away at warp.  
  
Hoshi had looked at Reed the day the merchant had told them how long it would take to get to the outpost and seen something break inside him. It was then that he'd taken on the look about him that he now had, as if he'd lost something very important, but something forced him forward. He was spending long hours working, he only came out for meals and even then he seemed to treat food as fuel and nothing more. Hoshi hadn't seen him stop to talk to another crew member for days. She had tried to sit with him one day at lunch but the conversation had been completely one-sided and her efforts were too wearing to maintain when she herself didn't even feel like talking.  
  
Archer was just as bad Hoshi suspected, but as usual refused to show anyone that he might be hurting under his professional captain's exterior. Hoshi had known Jon before he became the captain of Enterprise and she knew how he dealt with such things. Hoshi also knew how much Trip meant to him.  
  
What had surprised Hoshi the most though was T'Pol. She was even quieter than usual and was spending a lot of time in Engineering. Hoshi wasn't sure when the Sub-commander had last slept, no one had seen T'Pol finish her shift on time for over a week now. She ate alone, avoiding other crewmembers, particularly Commander Tucker's friends as if that might remind her of something that was missing. At 1900 each evening she could be found on the observation deck looking out at the stars, when Hoshi asked her why, she had said that she was simply meditating. Hoshi wondered if it was coincidence that 1900 was when Trip would go to T'Pol's quarters for his Neuropressure sessions.  
  
Hoshi hoped that they found Trip soon. Two months was too long. She strongly suspected that the ship would be falling apart, emotionally, at the seems by then.  
  
****  
  
Day ten (or was it eleven, he was beginning to loose count) they took him to a lab and put a needle in his arm. They began to drain his blood. They made him watch as they dripped his life out of a needle in his arm. Just tell us one thing and we'll stop this, they said but he knew they'd want to know another thing if he told them one. He kept his mouth shut. He felt sick and dizzy. Just tell us the top speed of Enterprise, surely you must know that, they said. We don't want to kill you but if you don't give us a reason to keep you alive then we'll have no choice. Trip said nothing. More blood dripped away and the edges of his vision started to blur and go dark.  
  
"Tell us Enterprise's top speed. What warp factor is Enterprise capable of, Commander?" asked the Xindi.  
  
"Go to hell," replied Trip in as loud and angry tone as he could manage. Even to his own ears it sounded feeble and soft. He passed out finally. When he woke up they had put another needle in his arm and the blood was being dripped back into him.  
  
"If you tell us what we want to know then you will spare yourself a lot of pain," said the Xindi.  
  
"Not going to happen," said Trip, in a tired voice.  
  
"Then we will do this again tomorrow," said the Xindi.  
  
He was true to his word, for the next three days, they made Trip watch his blood drip away before he passed out and they replaced it.  
  
"Just tell us the top speed of Enterprise and we'll stop," said the Xindi. He couldn't tell the Xindi apart so he had no idea if this was the same Xindi who had been beating him earlier.  
  
On the fourth day of taking blood they didn't replace all of the blood, they waited until Trip was conscious and then cut off the flow. They took him back to his cold cell and left him lying on the floor shivering and suffering from loss of blood. He floated between consciousness and oblivion, feeling sick and as if he was looking down on himself from somewhere high above. Finally he felt the blackness of unconsciousness claim him. Come on Jon, this isn't funny anymore, he thought as he passed out.  
  
****  
  
*The Jorgans are from my other story, Mentem Mortalia Tangunt 


	4. Chapter 4

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Archer hadn't given up on Trip by any means. He was certain that the Engineer still had to be alive. It wouldn't have served the Xindi to kill him. He was almost certain by this point that, if he was being objective, he should have broken off the search for his Chief Engineer. It had been over a month and a more dispassionate Captain would have continued on with the mission abandoning Trip. Maybe he was being irrational, but he really didn't care if he was. He held on to the belief that Trip still hadn't given up any information and that they could still find him before that happened and contain the security risk. That's what he put in his logs, he needed to find the Chief Engineer because of the technical information he knew. He didn't care if he was court marshalled at the end of the mission, assuming there was anything left of Earth to be court marshalled by, he had to find Trip.  
  
It was a good lead that Malcolm had brought back from the space station. It had been corroborated by other ships they had met on the way. Archer hoped that they weren't being led on a wild goose chase. Archer spent a lot of time looking out at the stars as if he could pick up clues to Trip's whereabouts out of the vacuum. Suddenly the intercom sounded and woke Archer back to the present, it was T'Pol.  
  
"Captain, I have detected a ship on long range sensors. If we go to warp 5 we might be able to catch them within the week," said T'Pol.  
  
"Is it the Xindi?" asked Archer.  
  
"It is hard to tell at this range but I believe it to be a strong possibility," said T'Pol.  
  
****  
  
After they gave up taking Trip's blood, they experimented with various drugs. Not all of them agreed with him, one in particular caused a violent allergic reaction, his skin burned with an angry red rash that aggravated the bruises. It itched and he couldn't help scratching, he could stop himself mostly while he was awake but his automatic reactions kicked in when he slept and he often woke to find he'd been scratching himself red raw in his sleep. He wasn't sure whether he told them anything when they used the drugs but they kept asking him the same questions so he clung to the hope that he hadn't given up anything.  
  
When the drugs didn't work they went back to beating him. Trip still hung on to his silence. His throat was raw from the screams which they wrung from him, but the screams were getting weaker, as he knew he was too. Occasionally they sent what he assumed to be their equivalent of the ship's physician to check him over. They didn't want to kill him after all. His uniform no longer fitted properly and he knew he must have lost a lot of weight. He spent most of the time, when they weren't asking him questions, building up barriers against the pain that was now always with him in some way. He shut out as much as he could but he knew he couldn't hang on much longer. If they continued then he knew they'd kill him soon. They might not mean to but one day they'd go too far and he'd stop breathing.  
  
They took him to the lab again and he blocked out what they did to him there, it was too painful. He'd stopped hoping that Enterprise would come for him. Jon must have written him off, it had been too long. They must have had to continue on to find the Xindi weapon. He felt his mind retreat somewhere away from the pain. He didn't even register the ship shaking as it was attacked.  
  
****  
  
Reed opened the door to the cell and saw his friend lying on the floor, curled on his side. "Jesus Christ, Trip!" he said as he saw the engineer. He went to his friend and felt for a pulse, it was there but it was weak and thready. "What the hell did they do to you?" He got out his communicator. "Reed to Archer, I've found him, sir."  
  
"Get him out of there," said Archer.  
  
"I'd prefer not to move him until Phlox has a look," said Reed.  
  
"Okay, I'll get Phlox and meet you," said Archer. "How is he?" He almost didn't want to ask the question, he was afraid of the answer.  
  
"He's breathing, I don't think I can say more than that until Phlox gets here," replied Reed.  
  
Reed looked at Trip, there was blood everywhere and bruises. If he hadn't recognised the blond hair and the uniform he might not have even realised that it was Trip. His uniform had been ripped to reveal more injuries across his upper body, and his right arm was lying at a sickening angle that made Reed think it was broken. There was nothing that he could do for Trip until Phlox arrived so he concentrated on guarding the cell from any stray Xindi who hadn't been disposed of by the marines' attack. It was either that or face what had been done to Trip and he didn't think he could cope with that at the moment without loosing the professional attitude that he relied upon to do his job. If they were going to get Trip out of here then he needed to remain focused.  
  
Of all the people to pick why did it have to be their good-natured Chief Engineer. Trip always had an air of innocence about him, as if space was still a place full of wonder for him. Reed would have given anything for Trip not to be lying on the floor, bruised and beaten beyond recognition.  
  
Phlox and Archer appeared at the door and Reed dropped his phaser to let them enter. Phlox took out his tricorder and started to scan Trip. Reed saw Archer turn pale as he looked at his friend's injuries and he heard him mutter "oh god" very softly. Those two words contained as much pain as Reed had ever heard.  
  
"Trip, just hold on a little longer," said Archer to the still form.  
  
The almost lifeless body twitched slightly. "Jon?" Trip whispered. "Not real," he muttered to himself.  
  
"Trip, it's okay, it's Jon," said Archer. He wanted to reach out a hand to Trip but he couldn't see any part of his skin that wasn't covered in angry red rash, bruises or blood. He didn't want to risk aggravating any of the injuries Trip had sustained. Archer noticed as well how painfully thin Trip looked and how pale.  
  
"Dreaming. Jon wouldn't come," he muttered again. Trip's eyes prised themselves open in an obvious effort of will power. They were dull compared to their previous brightness and unseeing. Archer felt a wave of guilt wash over him for Trip's final remark.  
  
"Trip, we're going to take you back to Enterprise. Everything's okay now," said Archer.  
  
"I'm going to give you something for the pain, Commander" said Phlox and pressed a hypospray against Trip's neck, it hissed and Trip's eyes closed again. "We can move him now," said Phlox to Archer.  
  
Two stretcher bearers arrived and Phlox supervised as they lifted the Commander gently onto the stretcher. Reed and Archer covered their retreat back to Enterprise, Phlox constantly monitored Trip's condition as they journeyed back through the corridors to Enterprise.  
  
It was only when they had Trip safely back in Sick Bay with Phlox ministering to him that Archer finally let his guard down. He was so angry, how could anyone do to another living being what had been done to Trip. He paced up and down in the corridor outside sick bay, with Reed leaning against the door waiting to hear what the doctor had to say. Phlox had thrown them both out of sick bay when it became obvious that they would get in his way if he allowed them to remain. They both wanted to be beside Trip, but if they were honest with themselves they knew that there was nothing they could do for the moment.  
  
A little later Phlox emerged and asked the two men to join him in sick bay. Trip had been placed on a biobed in a corner of sickbay and surrounded by curtains. Phlox had hooked him up to various monitors then made quiet clicks and beeps as they kept watch on Trip's condition.  
  
"I don't know where to start," said Phlox in a tone of utter desolation that Archer had never heard him use before. "He's obviously been tortured continuously for a number of weeks. He is malnourished, dehydrated and in a lot of pain. His right arm, all the fingers of his right hand, two fingers on his left hand, his left foot and four of his ribs are broken. There are various drugs in his system, some of which he appears to be allergic to and have caused difficulty with his breathing and a skin condition. They appear to have removed the skin from a portion of his right foot, it hasn't had a chance to heal so I would say that was very recent. There are also numerous scars, burns and bruises."  
  
At each new injury that the doctor listed the men winced inwardly. Archer clenched both his fists and looked over at his sleeping friend.  
  
"Can we see him?" asked Malcolm.  
  
"I have him heavily sedated, I think it would be best if I kept him in that condition for a few days. I don't know what level of pain he is experiencing at the moment but I doubt I have any painkillers that would be strong enough to deal with it. You can see him, but I intend to make sure that he won't be aware for many days to come," finished Phlox.  
  
"I know you're doing your best for him," said Archer. "If you'll excuse me, I'm needed on the bridge." Reed and Phlox watched him leave.  
  
"I've never seen him look so angry," said Reed.  
  
"It is an expected reaction to Commander Tucker's condition," said Phlox. "I myself find it very hard to deal with."  
  
"How could they do this to him," said Reed. He looked over at the pale, thin, body of Commander Tucker, he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that Trip had experienced but he vowed the Xindi would pay. He went over to sit with Trip. Even though he was unconscious, Reed was so glad to have the Commander back. He cried quiet tears of relief, hoping that no one heard him. He looked over at Trip and began to cry more silent tears for how ill Trip was.  
  
Outside sick bay Archer had stopped in the corridor, he turned and put his head against the wall. He balled his hand into a fist and hit the wall as hard as he could. It hurt but he needed the pain. He felt responsible and he still couldn't get Trip's words out of his head. "Jon wouldn't come." Obviously Trip had given up hope of rescue. How could he have let them take Trip like that and it had taken so long to find him, over two months. During all of that time Trip had been undergoing unbelievable pain and Archer couldn't forgive himself for allowing it to happen.  
  
He went to the bridge. "Ensign, are all our men disembarked from the hostile ship?" he asked Hoshi.  
  
"Yes, sir, the Major just checked in. All personnel have been accounted for," said Hoshi.  
  
"And the Xindi?" he asked turning to T'Pol.  
  
"Most were killed in the battle, a few fled in the life pods. They should not cause us any further trouble," replied T'Pol.  
  
"Sub-commander I want that ship destroyed. Load torpedoes and fire on the hostile ship," said Archer.  
  
T'Pol raised an eyebrow but complied with the Captain's request. They watched the ship explode in a fire ball of twisted metal. Archer had hoped it would make him feel better, but it didn't. It was just him hitting his fist on another wall.  
  
**** 


	5. Chapter 5

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Phlox took Trip off sedation five days after he had been brought back from the Xindi ship. He made sure that he gave the Commander a high dose of pain killers before he even considered allowing him to return to consciousness. He had also called Captain Archer, T'Pol and Lieutenant Reed before he took the Commander off the sedatives. He wanted there to be friendly faces available when his patient awoke for the first time. His wounds had been dressed and the bones had been set, but Phlox was still unsure of the Commander's state of mind.  
  
To the three waiting officers it seemed as if Trip took a long time to come around. To Trip it was like struggling through treacle, he tried to swim upwards to the surface but his head felt so groggy, as if he was stuffed full of cotton wool.  
  
"Come on Trip, you can do it," he heard a familiar voice say. One of the Xindi he thought, but they never called him Trip. It sounded more like Malcolm Reed, but he knew it couldn't be.  
  
"I'm not telling you anything," he mumbled. He kept his eyes shut not wanting to be reminded of where he was. "Please just stop."  
  
Archer glanced at Phlox worriedly. "Its only to be expected that he'll be a little confused," said Phlox. "He's been through a lot."  
  
"Trip, you're on Enterprise. You're safe in sick bay," said Archer.  
  
Trip finally peeled his eyes open. The clear blue eyes looked up at the faces surrounding him. "Enterprise?" he whispered in disbelief. He looked down at his body and noticed the drip that was in his arm. "No!" he shouted or at least it was meant to be a shout, it actually came out as a hoarse cry. He started to try to pull out the drip, he wanted them to stop pumping him full of drugs. He didn't hear Phlox trying to calm him or Archer trying to explain. He struggled as well meaning hands held him down, but he was too weak and they held him easily. "No!" he shouted again, "leave me alone!" He felt the cold of a hypospray against his neck and blackness enclosed him again.  
  
Archer and Reed looked stunned. Neither of them had expected quite that reaction. T'Pol was her usual composed self but even she looked slightly unnerved. Phlox was breathing hard after his rapid trip across sick bay to find the appropriate sedative. In his weakened state the Commander was no match for the Captain and Lieutenant Reed but he could still have hurt himself if he had continued to struggle.  
  
"I'm afraid that his experience has left him very confused," said Phlox.  
  
"One of the teams found a lab in the ship," said Reed bitterly. "It's likely that's where they took Trip to torture him. I would guess needles and drugs were involved."  
  
Archer nodded. "Its going to be hard to persuade him that he's safe after what he's been through."  
  
"I will put on the restraints and we can try again in an hour or so when the sedative wears off," said Phlox.  
  
An hour later Trip swam back up to consciousness. He felt the restraints and struggled. "Please, just leave me alone" he said, distantly. "I don't know anything!"  
  
"Trip," said Archer. "Trip it's me." He placed a hand on his friend's cheek and gently pulled his face so that he was looking directly into Trip's eyes. "Come on Trip, stay with me."  
  
Trip blinked. "Jon?" he asked. His voice was little more than a whisper.  
  
"Yes, it's me, you're on Enterprise, you're safe," said Archer.  
  
"It's not true," said Trip, not daring to believe that it could all be over. Any moment he expected the pain to return. "It's a trick." He noticed again the drip going into his arm. "What are you doing to me?" he asked in an increasingly agitated voice. "Leave me alone!" He struggled against the restraints again, everything hurt and he was too weak to keep up the struggling for long.  
  
"Commander," said Phlox, "the drip is just to provide you with pain relief and re-hydrate you. Both of which you are very much in need of at the moment."  
  
"Trip, you're going to be okay," said Reed.  
  
"Malcolm? Is that really you?" Trip asked.  
  
"When I last looked, it was me," replied Reed smiling.  
  
"It is good to have you back, Commander," said T'Pol from the end of the bed.  
  
"T'Pol, you're a sight for sore eyes," said Trip, finally realising that it wasn't just a dream. He tried to smile but found that his facial muscles didn't really want to comply. He did his best, managing a pale imitation of his usual smile. Then suddenly the fear returned to eyes. "I don't want to be here, get me out of here."  
  
"Trip you have to stay in Sick Bay for a little while. You're not well," said Archer.  
  
"No, I don't. I don't want to be here. I don't want any needles anywhere near me. Jon, you've got to get me out of here, I can't do this. Please!" There were tears forming in his eyes and he continued to struggle against the restraints, but he was just making himself tired.  
  
"Commander, you'll only wear yourself out. You need to conserve your strength," said Phlox and went to fill another hypospray.  
  
"Please, don't make me stay here," he pleaded. "No more needles. I don't know anything."  
  
"Trip, if you promise me that you'll calm down and try to get some sleep I'll talk to the doctor about moving you somewhere else. Okay?" said Archer. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Just hang in there a bit longer."  
  
Trip nodded and closed his eyes, tears squeezing themselves from the corners and running down his cheeks. Phlox returned to find Trip drifting off to sleep. "Ah, I see I won't be needing this," he said indicating the hypospray.  
  
"We need to talk, doctor," said Archer. They moved away from Trip's bed. "Is there any way that we could move Trip back to his quarters? Preferably before he wakes up again."  
  
"Captain, I need all the facilities of sick bay at my disposal. Commander Tucker's condition is very serious," said Phlox.  
  
"Doctor, you saw how he reacted to being in sick bay," interjected Reed. "He was afraid."  
  
"I have to believe that any benefits gained from being in sick bay are out- weighed by Trip's own wishes to be somewhere else. He needs to be somewhere familiar and safe. And if possible we have to get rid of the drip, that was what really upset him," said Archer.  
  
"It is almost certainly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, not uncommon in people who have been through a particularly harrowing experience, like Mr Tucker has. Very well, I will set up as much equipment as I can in Commander Tucker's quarters and arrange to have him moved there as soon as possible," said Phlox. "If Commander Tucker can't come to sick bay then we will bring the sick bay to him."  
  
****  
  
It took a few hours for Lieutenant Hess's engineering team to set up Trip's quarters with a makeshift biobed and the monitors that the doctor required, but eventually everything was ready. Phlox sedated the Commander again for the short journey down to his quarters, even that short movement would still be too much for him in his current state.  
  
When Trip woke again he was in his own quarters. He still felt fuzzy and he could remember waking to find himself in Sick Bay, that had been too close to his memories of the Xindi lab, and fear washed over him again. He tensed his body and tried desperately to look around him, but he was so weak he could hardly raise his head. Archer had stayed with Trip through the move and he now saw that Trip was awake again.  
  
"Hi there," said Archer. "You've had us all worried."  
  
"Jon?" said Trip, he still couldn't really believe he was back on Enterprise. He kept expecting to see the Xindi. "Where am I?" he asked, he needed to hear it again.  
  
"You're on Enterprise," said Archer. "You're safe Trip. You're in your own quarters. I had to fight with Phlox, but you don't have to go back to Sick Bay and no more needles." The last statement wasn't exactly true, they'd just moved the needle so that it now went into a vein in Trip's leg and they had hidden the drip so that it was behind his head. Phlox had Trip on some pretty strong painkillers so he wasn't going to be feeling anything much for a while. In any case, Trip seemed to relax when he heard that he was no longer in Sick Bay.  
  
"How'd you find me?" he asked, his voice rasped in his throat and it hurt him a little to talk.  
  
"T'Pol followed the ship's ion trail until it gave out at the space port and then we got a tip off from our friends the Jorgans. They said a Xindi crewed ship had docked at the spaceport and were headed for an outpost on a planet not far from here, we picked up their ion trail again and managed to catch up with them again." said Archer. "I'm sorry it took so long, Trip. I would have given anything to have found you sooner."  
  
Trip nodded. "Warp five," said Trip weakly.  
  
"What about it?" asked Archer.  
  
"It's what they wanted to know," said Trip. "I didn't tell them anything, Captain," he added anxiously.  
  
"I know you didn't," said Archer, putting a hand on Trip's shoulder to calm him. Trip flinched at the touch and tried to push himself back further against the pillows, so Archer removed his hand.  
  
"But there were drugs and I can't remember some of it. I guess I might have told them something then," said Trip, with tears welling in his eyes.  
  
"It doesn't matter, Trip. I'm just glad to have you back," said Archer. He could feel tears in his own eyes and the last thing he wanted was for Trip to see him crying. Phlox came into Trip's quarters at that moment. Lieutenant Hess had rigged up the bio-sensors so that they had readouts in Sick Bay as well as in the Commander's quarters.  
  
"Ah Commander, you're awake," said Phlox. "How do you feel?" He observed the tear stained eyes but decided not to say anything as Trip seemed to be relatively calm.  
  
"I can't feel much of anything, Doc," said Trip. "Everything seems sort of far away."  
  
"I've given you some strong painkillers so they should stop the worst of the pain. Let me know if you feel any discomfort and I will adjust the levels of pain relief," said Phlox. "I have arranged for someone to be with you at all times."  
  
"I'm thirsty," said Trip.  
  
"You may give him a little water, Captain, but just a few sips. We need to build up gradually."  
  
Archer took the glass of water with straw that Phlox passed to him and let Trip take a few sips, before setting it down. After that was done Trip closed his eyes and was soon asleep again.  
  
"It'll be a while before he stays awake for more than an hour or so," said Phlox. "He's had very little sleep for the past few months and repairing his injuries will require most of his body's strength."  
  
Archer stayed with Trip for a few more hours but he didn't wake up again. Archer was replaced by Lieutenant Reed in the seat beside the bed. Reed read his armoury reports while Trip slept. He heard Trip coughing and stirring beside him and looked over to see Trip's face contorted in pain, the cough had jarred his broken ribs. Reed went to the intercom and called Phlox.  
  
He came back to the Commander's side. "Easy Trip, I've called Phlox. He'll be here in a minute."  
  
"Malcolm?" said Trip.  
  
"Yes, it's me," said Malcolm.  
  
"For a moment I thought I was still on the Xindi ship," said Trip in a wavering voice.  
  
"You're safe on Enterprise," said Malcolm. "You're not going anywhere." Trip blinked and looked up at the ceiling.  
  
"How long was I gone?" he asked.  
  
"Two months," said Reed.  
  
"It felt like a lot longer," replied Trip, sleepily.  
  
Phlox arrived. He acknowledged Lieutenant Reed and scanned Trip.  
  
"Why am I so tired?" asked Trip.  
  
"You have a lot of injuries to heal, Commander, it's taking a lot of your strength. It will get better with time. For now you just need to rest," said Phlox. He loaded a hypo and pressed it to the Commander's neck. Trip felt the pain recede again and he closed his eyes and slept.  
  
"Thanks, Doctor," said Malcolm, looking at Trip's sleeping form.  
  
"He seems to be resting comfortably now," said Phlox. "Call me if you need me again."  
  
Phlox had arranged it so that someone would always be with Trip, he had explained that his recovery would be aided greatly by the presence of friendly faces whenever he woke up. Reed, Archer, T'Pol, Hoshi and Travis had drawn up a schedule which meant that one of them would always be with Trip. It meant missing free time and occasionally eating meals at strange hours, but none of them minded. They had been briefed by Archer and Phlox: he doesn't like to be touched, he's very scared, don't expect him to want to say much and call Phlox at the first sign of any trouble.  
  
Over the next week Trip spent his time in a kind of twilight of wakefulness and sleeping. Occasionally the two merged into a continuous dream. When he was awake there was always someone beside him, he couldn't always tell who it was but they were always there. As the days passed he managed to stay awake for longer and things became clearer as Phlox decreased his pain medication. He felt numb though, as if some momentous event had happened that had changed the way he felt about everything but that event had happened to someone else. Most of the time Trip felt too sore and ill to do anything other than wish the pain would go away. Phlox had warned him there would be good and bad days as far as the levels of pain were concerned but so far he had yet to experience a good day.  
  
However most of the physical discomfort was overridden by fear. He still expected the Xindi to come through the door and drag him off for more torture. He knew it was irrational but that didn't help, for the past two months his body had been conditioned into thinking that a door opening meant that he was about to be caused pain. He tried to hide it as best he could but nothing he could do seemed to make it go away.  
  
****  
  
T'Pol and Archer sat in the Captain's dining room. It was the first time that the two of them had eaten dinner together since Trip's kidnapping. Archer hadn't been able to bring himself to eat in his dining room when one of the chairs was so obviously empty, but now they had Trip back he'd decided to get things back to normal.  
  
T'Pol was briefing him on the raid on the Xindi ship. Lieutenant Reed had been suspicious of how well it had gone, T'Pol thought there was something to Reed's opinion and Archer was also inclined to agree with his Armoury Officer. For a start the Xindi hadn't put up much of a fight, most of Reed's contingency plans hadn't been needed, and then they had been far too anxious to take the escape pods and leave the ship.  
  
"One conclusion would be that they were able to extract information from Commander Tucker but had not yet been able to pass it on to their superiors. Hence it was important for them to escape so that they could pass on the information," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer knew Trip had gone through hell, he hoped it hadn't all been for nothing. He also knew that Trip was probably already tearing himself apart over whether he'd told them anything and he hated to think that there was any basis to his fears. However, he was first of all Captain of the Enterprise and their mission against the Xindi came above even his friendship with Trip.  
  
"What would be the most damaging thing that Trip could have told them?" asked Archer.  
  
"According to Lieutenant Reed's report, there are a number of weak points in out hull plating that if revealed would make Enterprise vulnerable. That was his most highly ranked vulnerability although he also rated a number of pieces of information about our phase cannons and photonic torpedoes as serious concerns," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer sighed. "Did the Lieutenant have a plan for dealing with these vulnerabilities?"  
  
"The weapons can be modified to counter the knowledge that the Xindi may have obtained, the hull plating is a design flaw and not correctable. Commander Tucker had mentioned it to you previously as a concern," said T'Pol.  
  
"I remember," said Archer.  
  
"Captain, I know this is a difficult subject, but we have to ask Commander Tucker what they interrogated him about," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer moved the food around on his plate. He knew she was right, it was the only way to protect Enterprise, but how could he ask Trip to relive what he'd just been through. He took a deep breath. "It's too early, T'Pol. I know we have to talk to him, but we've only just got him back. Just give me a little time."  
  
They ate in silence for a while.  
  
"Of course there is another possibility," said T'Pol. "They may have intentionally let us catch them."  
  
"Why would they do that?" asked Archer, knowing he wasn't going to like the answer.  
  
"Perhaps they wanted us to take Commander Tucker back on board Enterprise," said T'Pol.  
  
"You think that they did something to Trip?" said Archer. "Phlox scanned him and didn't detect anything wrong. He'd been heavily drugged but there wasn't anything dangerous to anyone else in his system."  
  
"Perhaps he is not Commander Tucker," said T'Pol.  
  
"Phlox would have noticed something," said Archer. "His DNA and brainwaves match previous scans so it's unlikely."  
  
"Or he may have been brain washed into sabotaging Enterprise," said T'Pol. "There are further possibilities that we cannot ignore."  
  
This was certainly something that Archer hadn't wanted to think about. "For the moment Trip's too ill to go anywhere, let alone sabotage anything. When he's up to moving around we'll worry about that and anything else that you can come up with."  
  
"Yes, Captain," said T'Pol.  
  
"What about the escape pods?" asked Archer.  
  
"They were picked up after we left the system by another ship. We were at the furthest extent of long range scanners at this point and I was unable to get more detail," said T'Pol. Archer had ordered them to go to warp immediately after destroying the enemy ship just in case any more Xindi ships arrived to answer the first ship's distress call. It now seemed that this had been a wise decision, despite its original motivations.  
  
"Well we know that some of the Xindi got away. The question is did they get away with anything important?" said Archer.  
  
**** 


	6. Chapter 6

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this so far, I find the comments really helpful.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Hoshi looked away from the padd she was reading and over briefly towards Trip, before returning to her studies. The Commander was sleeping, not quite peacefully, but had had a relatively good day. The angry red of the skin condition seemed to be fading, Phlox had been applying a cream to it that soothed it. Trip also wore cotton mittens so that when his automatic reactions took over he couldn't scratch. Trip hated the mittens almost as much as the rash, but with broken fingers on both hands he couldn't take them off, so he just had to live with them as long as Phlox made him wear them. As Phlox had decreased the pain medication and Trip had begun to feel more, the rash had been causing more trouble, interrupting his sleep and making it difficult to get comfortable. At least more difficult to get comfortable than it already was for someone with as many broken bones as Trip had.  
  
Hoshi was trying to learn Jorgan. It seemed like it would be a useful language to know now that they seemed to be bumping into Jorgans more often and as they were the only real allies that Enterprise had made in the Expanse. She had already made a good start on it when they had first met the Jorgans but now she had some time on her hands it seemed the perfect opportunity to study the language in depth. It was turning out to be quite challenging.  
  
Trip screamed and Hoshi dropped the padd she had been reading. She immediately looked over at the Commander, his eyes were open but he wasn't looking at anything. "Xindi!" he said in a whisper. Then he screamed again, "please stop!", tears forming in his eyes. Hoshi ran for the intercom and called Phlox. Trip was still breathing hard, muttering and screaming "leave me alone!" when Phlox arrived a few seconds later.  
  
Hoshi was talking to him in a quiet reassuring voice, "Trip, it's okay, you're safe. You're on Enterprise."  
  
"You're doing the right thing, Hoshi. I'm going to call Captain Archer," said Phlox.  
  
A few moments later Archer came into Trip's quarters to find Hoshi telling him over and over that he was on Enterprise. Trip was still staring off into the distance and muttering, although had stopped screaming. When she saw Archer, she moved over so that he could take over.  
  
"Trip," said Archer, "It's Jon, you're safe, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He put a hand on Trip's cheek and gently turned the face towards his own. Trip flinched with the touch.  
  
"It hurts, Jon," said Trip.  
  
"I know it does. Tell me where you are," said Archer in a soothing tone.  
  
"I don't know where. The torture room. Electric shocks today," said Trip.  
  
"Trip, you're on Enterprise. You're safe. You remember, we found you," said Archer.  
  
"Jon?" said Trip and suddenly his eyes focused on Archer. "Jon?" he said more clearly. He screwed up his eyes and cried until sobs wracked his whole body. Archer sat beside him on the bed and held him while Trip rocked in his arms until he had no more crying left to do. He had worn himself out and fell asleep while Archer held him.  
  
"I don't understand," said Hoshi, "he was fast asleep one moment and the next.........."  
  
"It was a flash back," said Phlox, to Hoshi. "Probably triggered by a bad dream. Most likely not the last that he'll experience either."  
  
"You mean that we've got him back and he still has to keep reliving everything that happened to him over there," said Hoshi.  
  
"It's common after something like what Trip has been through, Hoshi," said Archer. Phlox had given him some reading material at Archer's request, but he had hoped that this was something Trip wouldn't have to go through.  
  
"The human mind doesn't deal well with traumatic events, it can't, they're completely outside the range of its experience mostly. As time goes by these flash backs will be less severe and more distant, but it is going to be some time before he recovers completely, if he ever does. If we weren't in the Expanse I'd suggest returning him to Earth where there are psychiatrists trained to deal with this condition. Unfortunately on Enterprise all he has is me and my text books to help him through, but I will do my best."  
  
****  
  
Phlox tried to get Trip to eat a little but he only occasionally felt up to it. The starvation by the Xindi meant that his stomach was very sensitive and he felt sick after eating anything more than a couple of mouthfuls. It didn't help that the only thing that Phlox would let him eat was a sort of yoghurt like substance, it didn't taste bad, it just didn't taste of anything much. To add insult to injury his broken fingers made it impossible for him to feed himself. Both hands were splinted up and he couldn't even pick up the spoon much less get it to his mouth.  
  
It was Malcolm's turn to try to get something into Trip and despite Malcolm's patience it wasn't going well. Trip had been propped up on some pillows for the procedure. "Come on Trip, just have a little," said Malcolm. "You're never going to start putting on weight unless you eat something." Malcolm scooped up a spoonful of the glutinous substance.  
  
"I told you Malcolm, I really don't feel like anything," said Trip.  
  
"It doesn't matter whether you feel like it, Trip, you need to eat," said Malcolm, using his best commanding tone. It was the same one he used when he gave his armoury officers orders he knew they wouldn't like.  
  
"I feel stupid," said Trip, looking down at his cotton covered hands.  
  
"Look, when I'm next sick you can come and do this for me. Just one spoonful?"  
  
"I suppose so," said Trip resignedly and Malcolm spooned some of the food into Trip's mouth before he could change his mind. Trip swallowed and immediately wished he hadn't. "It tastes like cardboard," he said.  
  
"And another one," said Malcolm, not giving Trip a chance to think about it any further and spooning in another mouthful. Malcolm managed to get another three spoonfuls into Trip before he began complaining about his stomach. Which was at least better than the previous couple of days. Malcolm still worried about how thin Trip was, his ribs were clearly visible, and if he kept eating like this then he'd never put any weight back on.  
  
****  
  
Phlox had already explained to Archer that Trip's road to recovery would be a long one, mentally as well as physically. He certainly was not the same person that Archer had known six months ago. Trip never smiled now and he hadn't made a joke since he had been rescued. Archer found that change very hard to deal with. Trip breathed and talked a bit but he always seemed to be pre-occupied by something else. He lay staring at the ceiling or sleeping for most of the time. Hoshi had started to read novels to him and Reed talked him through the daily reports when he expressed an interest in knowing what was going on. Archer thought that mostly that was just because it was what he thought he should be thinking about and not because he had any real interest in it. He hadn't even asked about Engineering. That was what worried him the most because all Trip had ever wanted was to be Chief Engineer of a starship and now he seemed completely disinterested.  
  
Phlox had begun to try to get his patient to move a little on his own. Mostly this was a painful experience for Trip but at least he felt as if he was doing something. Phlox had started with his hands and arms, both were stiff and the fingers were still splinted but he could move them a little. Next Phlox tried to get his patient to move the rest of his body, lying in the same position wasn't good for Trip and if he could move himself a little then it would make life much easier. It might also help Trip feel more in charge of what was going on and less helpless.  
  
"Let's try and sit you up, Commander," said Phlox.  
  
Trip tried to move but was too weak and fell back on his bed frustrated and worn out from the effort.  
  
"Let me help you, Trip," said Archer.  
  
"I'll do it on my own," said Trip through gritted teeth. He summoned up all his strength and tried again. His muscles refused to co-operate and he fell back again. He breathed hard. "Damn it!" he swore, "I can't even sit up by myself."  
  
"Patience, Commander," said Phlox. "Your muscles will recover but you need to give it time."  
  
"Why don't you give it another go, but let us help you this time," said Archer.  
  
Trip nodded. "Okay," he took a deep breath and tried again to get into a sitting position. He felt Archer and Phlox supporting him as he moved and finally reached a sitting position. He was breathing hard again and tired but at least he had made some progress. Phlox moved pillows to support him in position and he lay back again.  
  
"I'm afraid it will be a few more weeks before we can begin physiotherapy properly," said Phlox. "We need to wait until the casts come off and the broken bones have healed."  
  
"I'm fed up with this," said Trip. "I can't eat without feeling sick, I can't move without hurting and I can't even stay awake for more than a few hours. Just leave me alone." He closed his eyes and ignored Phlox and Archer.  
  
He heard Phlox leave the room a few seconds later and Jon sit down beside the bed.  
  
"Trip, I know you're not asleep, so don't bother pretending," said Archer.  
  
Trip opened his eyes and stared at his commanding officer. "I thought I told you to leave me alone," said Trip, suddenly really angry.  
  
"Trip, I can't leave you alone," said Archer.  
  
"Yeah, because I might need something or have another flash back. I hate this," said Trip.  
  
"No Trip, I can't leave you alone because I'm your friend," said Archer. "Would it help to talk about what happened?" he tried gently.  
  
"Jon, I know you mean well, but just leave me alone," said Trip.  
  
****  
  
Trip had slept through most of the day after Phlox had left, only waking for an hour or so. T'Pol sat down with the day's scanner logs, while Trip slept.  
  
"You don't have to sit with me," said Trip. "I'd rather be alone."  
  
T'Pol looked over to see that Trip was awake again. "Someone needs to stay with you Commander," said T'Pol, "and the doctor thought you would prefer it if it was someone that you knew well."  
  
"Half the time I don't even know that you're here," said Trip, dismally.  
  
T'Pol laid the padd down on the table beside her. "I spoke to the doctor yesterday, he suggested that now your painkiller dosage has been decreased we might re-start our Vulcan neuropressure regime," said T'Pol.  
  
"T'Pol, I don't think I have enough energy," said Trip.  
  
"We can try an abbreviated form. Vulcan neuropressure has on occasion been used to help the rehabilitation of invalids. Give me your left hand," said T'Pol.  
  
"I'm really not sure about this, T'Pol," said Trip. "It takes a lot of concentration, from what I remember." His neuropressure sessions with T'Pol seemed like they were years ago now.  
  
"We will take things slowly," said T'Pol. "Your hand, Commander."  
  
Trip reached out his left hand, only two fingers on the left hand were broken, and T'Pol took his hand in her own. She carefully took off the cotton mitten and he felt her soft skin. She turned the hand so that it was palm up and pressed two fingers on his palm gently, avoiding the broken fingers.  
  
"If this hurts then we will stop. Tell me if you experience any discomfort immediately. Breathe, Commander," said T'Pol.  
  
Trip closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. He repeated the process while T'Pol moved her fingers slightly and pressed more firmly on his hand.  
  
"Good, Commander," said T'Pol. "You have not forgotten what I taught you." They continued the exercises for a half hour, T'Pol concentrating on Trip's left arm. The left arm was easy for her to reach from beside the bed without the Commander having to move or stretch, something which was still painful for him. The exercises which she performed were not taxing and only required Trip to breathe regularly rather than hold any poses. After half an hour Trip was beginning to tire though so T'Pol decided to finish the session.  
  
"Thanks T'Pol," said Trip. "I feel a bit more relaxed now."  
  
"Dr Phlox came by with some food a little earlier. Perhaps you would like some?" inquired T'Pol.  
  
"I'm not hungry," said Trip.  
  
"It is illogical of you not to eat," said T'Pol. "Your body needs fuel in order to replenish itself." She helped Trip sit up against the pillows and reached for the food.  
  
"I guess," said Trip unhappily. Nothing seemed to be holding any interest for him since......... He couldn't even bring himself to think it. Since he was rescued. Since the Xindi had taken away his freedom and stripped him of his self respect. He just felt disconnected from everything that went on around him. He really didn't know if he could face more of Phlox's sticky gloop.  
  
"Dr Phlox thought that you might be ready for some more interesting food," said T'Pol. "Perhaps you would like to try some fruit?"  
  
"Fruit?" asked Trip. He knew that chef guarded their supply of fruit very closely, they didn't know when they'd next be passing Earth to get more.  
  
"Peaches," said T'Pol uncovering a dish of peach pieces. "I believe they are your favourite."  
  
"They are, but where did they come from? I didn't think we had any left."  
  
"Dr Phlox spoke to chef about your lack of appetite, he produced these from his supplies," said T'Pol. She picked up one of the pieces of peach from the bowl and fed it to Trip.  
  
"Wow, that tastes good," said Trip.  
  
"Would you like some more, Commander?" asked T'Pol.  
  
"Erm, yeah, I guess I would," said Trip surprising himself by how much he actually wanted to eat. Or perhaps it was the person who was feeding him, he thought.  
  
T'Pol continued to feed Trip the peaches until there were no more pieces left in the bowl. "That is the last one, Commander," said T'Pol. "Perhaps you should try to get some rest now."  
  
"Okay," said Trip, he settled back down with a little help from T'Pol. "Thanks for tonight, T'Pol," said Trip sleepily.  
  
"Thanks are not necessary," said T'Pol.  
  
She watched as Trip closed his eyes and fell asleep. As she returned to reviewing the sensor logs, she wondered why she had felt it necessary to go to chef personally to find something that the Commander would want to eat. It had been Archer's suggestion to Phlox that Trip might find it easier to eat something if it was more appetising. When Phlox mentioned it to her, T'Pol had agreed, she knew just how much Trip liked his food. She'd seen him get excited about pecan pie, fried catfish and peaches. Phlox had told her that pecan pie and fried catfish were out for the moment, but the peaches seemed like the perfect idea. When she mentioned Commander Tucker's condition to chef he had fallen over himself to help her, producing from stasis the very last peaches on the ship. T'Pol reflected that Trip had made a friend there simply by enjoying his food.  
  
**** 


	7. Chapter 7

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
T'Pol, Hoshi and Reed sat in the mess hall, it was late. Hoshi and Reed had been enjoying a cup of coffee before turning in for the night when they saw T'Pol enter the mess hall and had invited her to join them. She mentioned her success with the peaches and both officers congratulated her.  
  
T'Pol had been spending more time in the company of Trip's friends lately, she found it helpful to get their opinion of the Commander's condition to inform her own actions towards him. She had reflected that a human perspective on what the very human Commander was going through could help her to help him. Unfortunately even her studies of the relevant literature had not prepared her for the change in the Commander, she had had to increase her meditation time to cope. Tonight she thought that she might have made some progress, but was wary of misinterpreting the reactions of Commander Tucker. She found humans, particularly Commander Tucker, difficult to comprehend at times.  
  
"I wish we'd thought of it sooner," said Hoshi.  
  
"Dr Phlox would not have been happy trying solid food earlier than today," said T'Pol.  
  
"The problem is that he can be a stubborn idiot when he puts his mind to it," said Reed, remembering his own attempts to get Trip to eat.  
  
"I had noticed this attribute," said T'Pol. "It would be far more logical for him to accept help when it is offered."  
  
"Not our Mr Tucker, oh no," said Reed, sighing. "You can guarantee he'll want to do it the hard way."  
  
Captain Archer entered the mess hall, got himself a cup of coffee and then noticed the three officers sitting together and decided to join them.  
  
"We were just talking about Commander Tucker," said Hoshi. "Did the doctor tell you anything about how his injuries are healing?"  
  
"He still seems to be in a lot of pain," said Archer, "although being Trip, he's trying not to show it. Phlox thinks that the splints can come off his hands tomorrow, but the rest will have to wait a bit longer. At least that horrible rash seems to be improving." Archer paused and then added, "I'm more worried about his state of mind."  
  
"It's only been three weeks since we got him back," said Hoshi. "It's going to take time."  
  
"I can see that," said Reed. "But hasn't anyone noticed that he hasn't even asked about Engineering?"  
  
Archer nodded, "he hadn't asked me but I wondered if he had maybe talked to one of you." Everyone around the table shook their heads, none of them had been asked by Trip about Engineering.  
  
"His current behaviour seems to either involve sleeping or staring at the ceiling," said T'Pol. "From my previous experience of Commander Tucker when he is ill, this is not how I would expect him to react. He usually would also ask when he could go back to duty."  
  
"Phlox thinks getting him to talk about it might help, but he doesn't want to and I can't blame him," said Archer in a resigned tone. "I tried once but he just told me to leave him alone."  
  
"That's another thing that's strange, he says "leave me alone" a lot," said Reed. "When he has a flash back it's what he shouts, he says it in his sleep and it was what he said when he first woke up in Sick Bay."  
  
"He's still really scared," said Hoshi. "The other day I put a hand on his arm and he jumped out of his skin. I think he still expects the Xindi to come and get him, at least subconsciously."  
  
"Logically, I would suggest that being alone meant that he wasn't being tortured," said T'Pol.  
  
"I agree," said Archer, sipping his coffee. "I'm due to sit with him tomorrow morning so maybe I'll try again to get the full story out of him. Phlox also thinks it might help if we can get him out and about. He was going to bring a wheelchair and give Trip a push around some of the corridors."  
  
****  
  
As it turned out the wheelchair was not a good idea. Phlox had arrived that morning to find Travis sitting with the Commander. Trip was staring at the ceiling, awake but not talking. Beside the bed was the remains of Trip's breakfast, scrambled eggs (only about half eaten) and a glass of water. Travis left when Phlox arrived so that Trip could have some privacy while the doctor examined him.  
  
"I think we can take the splints off your fingers today," said Phlox cheerfully. Trip had just nodded at the doctor and continued to look at the ceiling. He knew that before he would have made some remark about being pleased to get his fingers back but he just couldn't be bothered.  
  
Phlox made himself busy undoing the splints and removing the dressings from the damaged fingers. Although the breaks had healed, scars were still visible on the fingers and backs of the hands.  
  
"Right, lets see how much movement you've got," said Phlox. "Try and move the fingers on your left hand."  
  
Trip gently bent the two broken fingers, they moved although they were very stiff. Then he gently flexed the right hand fingers. Trip winced, movement hurt.  
  
"Good," said Phlox. "Let's try doing some exercises. Hopefully we should be able to restore full mobility to your hands within a couple of weeks."  
  
"Great," said Trip, but it didn't really sound as if he meant it.  
  
Phlox took him through the exercises. It was painful but he'd been through worse, and as soon as he thought that he knew he couldn't take any more.  
  
"That's enough for today, Doc," said Trip, quietly. He withdrew his hands quickly and put them under the blanket.  
  
Phlox looked a little surprised and then said "is there something wrong, Commander?"  
  
"No Doc, just had enough," said Trip. Phlox knew the look on Trip's face from experience. The pain in his hands had reminded him of how they had been broken. Trip was back on the Xindi ship in his mind. Archer came into the quarters at that moment and Trip jumped at the door opening. When he realised what he'd done, he hung his head and sighed.  
  
"How's it going?" said Archer.  
  
"Very well," said Phlox, grinning. "I have taken the splints off and we have done a few finger exercises. They should return to full mobility in a couple of weeks time."  
  
"That's good news," said Archer.  
  
"I was just about to suggest to Commander Tucker that he might like to go for a small excursion," said Phlox.  
  
"Excursion?" said Trip, looking worried.  
  
"I brought a wheelchair with me from Sick Bay, its waiting outside," said Phlox. "I thought Captain Archer might take you to the observation deck."  
  
"Might be nice to have a change in scenery," said Trip, he sounded resigned. He had been getting fed up with looking at the same walls, but there was a reason why he hadn't asked when he'd be able to be up and about. However, he couldn't tell Archer or Phlox that he didn't want to go. They would have wanted to know why.  
  
Phlox went to get the wheelchair and Archer helped Trip to sit so that his legs were over the side of the bed. The bandages and cast on one foot didn't make the job simple. From his grimly stoic face Archer knew that the movement wasn't easy or pain free, but Trip said nothing. It was a slow process but eventually Phlox and Archer had Trip sat in the wheelchair. Phlox placed a blanket over the Commander's knees and Archer moved around to take the handles.  
  
"Are you ready?" he asked Trip once the Commander was settled. This was the first time that Trip would have been out of his cabin since his move from Sick Bay and Archer knew Trip should have been happy about it.  
  
"Yeah, let's go," said Trip, all business.  
  
Archer pushed the wheelchair towards the door. He didn't notice Trip gripping the arm rests with grim determination and looking at the door with dread. Trip was trying to push himself through the back of the wheelchair without much success. However Phlox was more observant.  
  
"Are you alright, Commander?" asked Phlox.  
  
"I'm fine," said Trip in a monotone, although it was obvious from his now pale face that he wasn't.  
  
"Trip, we don't have to do this," said Archer, squatting on the floor so that he could look at Trip.  
  
"Yes, we do," said Trip, with cold determination.  
  
"Trip, you obviously don't want to go out of that door. Do you want to tell me why?" asked Archer, as gently as he could.  
  
"Are we going or not?" asked Trip in a slightly angry tone. Archer sighed.  
  
"Trip, you're going to have to talk about this at some point. Keeping it all inside you isn't the way to deal with this," said Archer.  
  
"Either push the damn wheelchair or help me get back into bed," said Trip, getting more angry by the minute.  
  
"Okay, Trip, if you want to do it the hard way, be my guest," said Archer and took the handles of the wheelchair again. Trip once more gripped the chair and edged as far back as he could into the seat. Archer wheeled the chair to the door and pushed the button to open it, it slid back and Trip cringed as best he could. Archer hated this, the last thing he wanted to do was cause Trip any more pain, but he seemed determined to put himself through this. It was undeniable that his friend was scared, even though he was trying hard to hide it. But what was he scared of? Was it because he was expecting there to be Xindi on the ship or was it just leaving his own quarters. Neither really made sense.  
  
Once they got further down the corridor Trip settled down slightly, he was still gripping the armrests, and his body was extremely tense but at least he wasn't flinching at every sound and movement. The corridors were quiet as it was mid shift and not many of the crew had reason to be moving around. Archer kept up a commentary as he pushed Trip towards the observation lounge. Trip didn't seem to be listening. It was only when they reached the observation lounge that Archer decided to ask Trip something that he needed to reply to.  
  
"Trip?" said Archer, trying to get his attention.  
  
"Yes, sir," said Trip, almost automatically.  
  
"I was just asking if you wanted to go by Engineering on the way back, I'm sure Lieutenant Hess wouldn't mind..." Archer was about to continue but Trip cut him off.  
  
"No!" said Trip, he hadn't meant to shout, it had just come out that way. "No, thank you," he said more quietly. He looked out at the stars that were slowly drifting past at about warp three.  
  
"Trip," said Archer taking a seat so that he was on the same level as the man in the wheelchair. "This can't go on."  
  
"What can't go on?" asked Trip.  
  
"It hasn't gone unnoticed that you haven't asked about Engineering once since your rescue," said Archer. He paused hoping that Trip would jump in with an explanation, when he didn't, Archer continued. "And I'm worried about you. You were obviously scared when we left your quarters and you've been rigid the whole journey here. Please, Trip, you have to let me help you."  
  
Trip looked at Archer, he tried to remember what it felt like to be safe and to trust someone. This man was his friend, but how could he even begin to explain how he felt. He owed it to Jon to try, after everything that they'd been through, he couldn't shut him out now. He took a deep breath. "My quarters are safe," said Trip, haltingly. "I'd just about managed to convince myself of that. Well I didn't have much choice, I was too ill to move and I knew I didn't want to be in Sick Bay. So I told myself that my quarters were safe and I made myself believe it. The only problem is that nowhere else is, I expect to see the Xindi coming to drag me off to their lab around every corner. Hell, every time someone opens the door to my quarters I expect it to be the Xindi. I think I'm going mad." He hung his head, defeated by the revelation that he hadn't even really wanted to make to himself.  
  
"It's okay," said Archer. "Trip, you're not going mad. You can't expect to get over this in a couple of weeks. Phlox was surprised that you're as sane as you are. You're doing really well." Archer wasn't sure that Trip was doing well but even if he wasn't, Trip needed to be reassured.  
  
"It's worse than that," said Trip. He paused and looked directly at Archer. "Engineering."  
  
"What about it?" asked Archer.  
  
"I don't ever want to see the place again," said Trip with feeling.  
  
"Why not?" asked Archer, stunned by what his Chief Engineer had just said.  
  
"I can't even think about anything to do with engines or mechanics or technical specs without remembering, and I don't want to remember," said Trip, miserably. "It hurts when I remember."  
  
"I know you don't want to remember what happened but it might help if you talked to someone," said Archer. Then he added, "Trip, I need you to tell me what happened."  
  
Trip took a deep breath and suddenly his hands were really interesting. He didn't want to talk about it, but Jon was persistent. He knew he had to tell someone before the great weight he carried crushed him from the inside out. "They started by asking about the warp engines," said Trip slowly. "One of the Xindi reptilians hit me if I didn't answer. Which was a lot, because I kept my mouth shut. I think that's when they broke the ribs, it was some time in those first few days any way. They wanted to know Enterprise's top speed but I'm pretty sure that they already knew it, they just wanted me to tell them something. They were hoping that if I told them something easy, something which wouldn't really hurt Enterprise, then I'd tell them the other stuff. When they were done they'd leave me in the cell, which was about my favourite place to be after a while. Even if they did keep it pretty cold." He shivered at the memory. "They fed me every couple of days but to be honest after a while I didn't feel much like eating." Trip paused and Archer just let him gather his thoughts without interrupting. "I don't really remember when, but at some point they decided that beating it out of me wasn't working and there was this lab that they'd take me to." His voice shook at this point and he put a hand to his eyes. Why did he feel so ashamed? He couldn't have stopped them, there had been too many of them, but maybe he could have fought harder. He hadn't been able to get that out of his head.  
  
He told Archer in a halting voice about what the Xindi had done to him in the lab, how by the end of it all he'd wanted to do was die and he kept hoping that Enterprise would come for him, but as the weeks went by he was sure they wouldn't. He told Archer about how he'd felt bad about not getting back for Hoshi's Mah Jongg game and then he'd realised that he might never see any of the Enterprise crew ever again. He'd held onto the fact that Enterprise would come for him, it was the only thing that got him through some days, but as time went on he had started to give up hope. He knew they'd used drugs on him, the red rash was testament to that, and he worried that he'd told them something but they kept asking him the same questions over and over, and he hoped desperately that meant he hadn't told them anything. But he couldn't be sure, and Archer got the impression that hurt almost as much as what the Xindi had done.  
  
Archer could see that Trip had been through hell. He already knew that, but hearing it from Trip's own mouth somehow made it all the more real and horrible. Not everything the Xindi had done had broken bones and Archer found it very hard to hear what his friend had gone through. He was just as aware of how much telling him all this had cost Trip. He had drained all his strength, but he had one last thing he had to tell Archer.  
  
"This is never going to go away, I dream about it, if something reminds me of it then I'm immediately back there and I can't even throw myself into my work to forget, because that's what this was all about." Trip stopped and tried to gather himself together before he continued. "You know how much I loved being your Chief Engineer, Captain, but I just can't do it anymore," said Trip looking at his Captain with tear filled eyes.  
  
"Let's not make any decisions about that just now," said Archer.  
  
"But Captain, if I can't even bring myself to go into Engineering what use am I going to be to you?" asked Trip desperately.  
  
"Trip, you're still not physically well. Let's at least get you back on your feet before we worry about anything else. We're going to take this one step at a time and you're going to be okay. You should have seen this ship without you," said Archer. "Enterprise needs you, Trip." It was Archer's turn to bare his soul. He told Trip how empty he felt without him, how T'Pol had worked so hard, how Hoshi had refused to put away the Mah Jongg set until he got back and how Malcolm had searched so hard to find the Jorgan merchant. Engineering had been like walking into a room full of automatons, everyone doing their job and trying not to think too hard about who was missing.  
  
Trip looked at Archer wide eyed. "I had no idea," he said.  
  
"Don't underestimate just how many friends you have on this ship, who all want to see you get well. And if you never want to work in Engineering again, well, then we'll work something out, but only once you're completely better," said Archer. He looked at Trip again, the young engineer looked completely worn out as if he was tired to his very bones. "Come on, I'll take you back to your quarters."  
  
Trip just nodded.  
  
**** 


	8. Chapter 8

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Thanks again for the wonderful reviews, you guys make me feel all warm and fluffy!  
  
*********************************************  
  
It was almost a week later and things were beginning to hurt less. Trip wasn't quite sure when it had happened, but it had and it was the first thing that had made him feel good again. After his first outing in the wheelchair with Archer, he had begun to feel a little better, there were somehow fewer Xindi hiding in the shadows. They hadn't completely gone and occasionally he caught himself jumping at something he shouldn't have, but the raw edge of his ordeal was fading. He wasn't going to be back to his old self overnight, that much was obvious, but at least he had started on the road to recovery.  
  
It was Malcolm's turn to sit with Trip that evening. After Trip had recounted his story to the Captain, Archer had called T'Pol and Lieutenant Reed into his ready room and told them the whole story as well. It wasn't that he didn't respect Trip's privacy or what he'd been through, it was about the safety of the ship. Reed and T'Pol had to know where Enterprise might be vulnerable and knowing the questions that the Xindi had been asking could help them there. But Archer also knew that he couldn't handle Trip's revelations alone, he had to have someone he could discuss it with. If he found it hard hearing about what had happened then he could only imagine how it had been for Trip living through it. Reed had been completely appalled by what he heard.  
  
"That explains a lot," said Reed, "why he didn't want to stay in Sick Bay and why he was scared of the needle."  
  
"Logically, torture is not a reliable way to obtain accurate information," said T'Pol. "I believe the Xindi must have been desperate to carry out such an obviously flawed plan."  
  
"It wasn't as flawed as it could have been," said Archer, "two months is a long time."  
  
Two months was a long time, and Reed had felt every single day drag by. He was used to sitting with Trip by now, occasionally Trip might say something, ask him something about the Armoury, but usually Trip lay silently looking at the ceiling. If Trip was asleep Reed would sometimes have to wake him from a bad dream or, when he was awake, try to rest Trip from the grips of a flashback. It was hard watching someone usually so outgoing as Trip Tucker, pull into himself and withdraw completely. Today when Malcolm arrived Trip was sitting up in bed reading one of Archer's books.  
  
"You look as if you're feeling a bit better," said Reed cautiously.  
  
"Doc said that my ribs are nearly healed," said Trip, happily, "and he reckons that I might be able to have something more interesting than soup or scrambled egg for dinner." And for the first time in a very long while, Reed saw Trip smile. It wasn't quite his usual wide grin, but it was definitely a smile.  
  
"That is good news," said Reed, with feeling. He knew how much actually getting to eat real food was going to mean to Trip. "What are you reading?"  
  
"Something Jon found for me. H. G. Wells, "The First Men in the Moon"," said Trip.  
  
"You and your bloody Sci Fi," said Reed, teasing. They had an on going argument about the merits of Trip's favourite genre.  
  
"Hey, this is a classic," said Trip. He juggled the book on the cast on his right arm and tried to turn the page with his left. Reed lent over and gave him a hand. "Thanks," said Trip.  
  
"Actually, I brought you something else that I thought you might like," said Reed. "It's some films that I downloaded from the ship's database. I hope I was accurate in gauging your tastes but I can always download some others for you." He handed Trip a padd onto which he had downloaded the films.  
  
"Thanks," said Trip with feeling, carefully marking his place in the book and eagerly taking the padd. Books were great, especially real paper ones, but sometimes you just needed to relax with a trashy movie and Reed had done pretty well in picking what Trip would want to watch. He had also been very careful to avoid any films with anything in them that might remind Trip of what had happened to him. Top of the list was "The Day the Earth Stood Still", followed by "Quatermass and The Pit" and three of Trip's other favourite films. Trip was about to select one to watch when suddenly the padd went blank. "Damn, something's wrong with this padd," said Trip.  
  
"Can't be," said Reed, taking it from Trip's hand. It had been working fine earlier. He pressed the buttons on the padd's controls but nothing made any difference the padd remained dead. "I'm sorry, I'll bring you another. I guess you'll just have to read your book for the moment."  
  
"It's okay, Malcolm, maybe I can fix this one. If you look in the top draw of the desk there's a set of instrument screwdrivers, could you get them for me?" said Trip. Reed went over to Trip's desk draw and retrieved the screwdrivers; they were a set of six silver coloured tools each slightly smaller than the previous one. Trip used them for precision work, and they would be perfect for getting the casing off the padd. Reed watched while Trip carefully unscrewed the fixings on the padd and delicately lifted the back off. With his right arm still in a cast, and his fingers not yet up to full mobility, this was a bit difficult but Reed gave him a hand.  
  
Padds were not complicated pieces of hardware, they consisted of a touch sensitive screen, a couple of buttons, a miniature power supply and various chips and wires. Trip spent five minutes checking that all the connections were still attached and going to the right places before he began to look at other causes for the padd's failure. By the time the various components of the padd were spread over the bed, Trip had come to the conclusion that whatever had caused the padd to fail was not visible to the naked eye. What he needed was a tricorder.  
  
"Trip, it's only a padd," said Reed. "I'll bring you another one tomorrow. Phlox is going to be here soon with your medication and he's not going to be pleased to see this lot."  
  
"Look, just get me a tricorder, will you," said Trip. The padd had become a challenge now and he was determined to fix it.  
  
"Actually, I just happen to have one with me," said Reed, he'd been working in the Armoury before he had come to see Trip and hadn't bothered to stow the tricorder.  
  
"Well why didn't you say so," said Trip in a slightly annoyed tone. Reed was just pleased to finally see some of the old Trip showing through again, so he ignored the tone and smiled. He handed Trip the tricorder.  
  
Trip scanned the padd. The tricorder went dead. "Son of a bitch, this just isn't funny," said Trip.  
  
"What did you do to it?" asked Reed in an accusing tone.  
  
"Nothing," said Trip. "I just picked it up, started scanning and it went dead."  
  
"Something isn't right here," said Reed. He looked around Trip's quarters and his eyes rested on the digital alarm clock which usually sat beside the bed but had been moved out of the way for medical equipment and was on the desk. He picked it up from the desk and passed it to Trip.  
  
"What do you want me to do with this?" asked Trip.  
  
"Just hold onto it for a moment," said Reed. And as he finished the sentence, the red lights of the numbers faded to black. Trip looked at Reed with a mixture of worry and disbelief in his eyes. Reed went to the intercom. "Reed to Sub-commander T'Pol."  
  
"Yes, Lieutenant," said T'Pol.  
  
"Could you come to Commander Tucker's quarters?"  
  
"What is it?" asked T'Pol.  
  
"I'm not sure, but you might want to bring a couple of padds with you and a tricorder," said Reed.  
  
"Very well, Lieutenant, I am on my way," said T'Pol.  
  
A few minutes later T'Pol arrived. "What is the problem, Lieutenant?" she asked in her usual unemotional voice.  
  
"It might be easier to show you, Sub-commander," said Lieutenant. "If you could give that padd to Commander Tucker, we'll demonstrate."  
  
T'Pol raised an eyebrow but passed the padd to Trip. Trip held it for a few moments before it went black, no longer working.  
  
"Interesting," said T'Pol.  
  
"What do you mean interesting!" said Trip, getting angry and worried at the same time. "This is serious, everything I pick up stops working!"  
  
Phlox arrived at Trip's quarters in plenty of time to administer his daily medication and entered to hear the end of Trip's sentence. He looked at Trip and realised that he was agitated by something, however he didn't yet know what it was that had upset him.  
  
"What is going on here?" he asked.  
  
"We may have discovered a new dimension to the Commander's condition," said T'Pol.  
  
"I brought a padd for the Commander with some movies on it and he only held it for a few moments before it stopped working. While we were trying to fix it, I passed him my tricorder and that stopped working too. It was too suspicious to be coincidence, so I tried him with the digital chronometer and that stopped working as well." The various objects still laid on the bed where Trip had left them, he still had T'Pol's padd in his hand.  
  
"It was the Xindi," said Trip, looking more and more anxious, but also angry, "they did something to me, didn't they? It's not enough that they nearly kill me and make me too scared to do my job, they had to make sure! I'm never going to be able to touch anything electronic ever again!"  
  
"Commander, calm down," said Phlox, going over to his patient and scanning him with a tricorder. "I think you two should leave," he added to T'Pol and Reed.  
  
"I don't want to calm down!" said Trip. "I want to know what's happening to me. How am I going to work on a starship if I can't pick up a tricorder!" His breathing was coming more quickly and he struggled to make his lungs pull in the air. His ribs were still sore after being broken and the extra movement was making them protest. He was starting to feel slightly dizzy.  
  
"Trip, it's going to be okay," said Reed, trying to placate his friend.  
  
"No, it's not," shouted Trip and flung the broken padd across his quarters as best he could with his left hand. It smashed reassuringly against the bulkhead. "What the hell use am I going to be anyone?" He wanted to shout more but his chest hurt too much. He closed his eyes to try and get past the pain. He suddenly felt the touch of a hypospray on his neck, and was about to jerk away, when he felt very tired. He wasn't even able to protest as he felt Phlox help him lie back on the pillows behind him and he drifted into friendly blackness.  
  
Phlox checked that his patient was asleep and then turned to face T'Pol and Reed.  
  
"Perhaps you two would like to explain to me why you felt the need to agitate Commander Tucker?" said Phlox, crossly. "Maybe you are not aware of how ill he still is," he added sarcastically.  
  
"I'm sorry, Doctor," said Reed, "it's just that I had no idea that a simple padd would cause so much trouble."  
  
"I realise that, Lieutenant, but was there really any need to demonstrate this to Sub-commander T'Pol," said Phlox. "Do I have to remind you both just how fragile the Commander's mental state is at the moment?"  
  
"Commander Tucker was already aware that something was wrong," said T'Pol. "It would not have served him any better to have kept this knowledge from him."  
  
"I cannot agree with you, Sub-commander," said Phlox. "It is one thing to know you have a problem, it is another thing entirely to realise the full extent of what that problem means. The Commander is human, T'Pol. In his present condition it is very hard for him to objectify anything." Phlox sighed. "Anyway the damage is done, unfortunately. The sedative I have given him will make him sleep for a few hours but after that we'll have to help him deal with this new problem. I would be happier if we could let him know that we are working on it."  
  
"I understand," said T'Pol. "If you would allow me to borrow your medical tricorder then I can take some scans and get to work on what is causing this problem immediately."  
  
"Good idea, Sub-commander," said Phlox. He handed T'Pol his medical tricorder and she began to scan Trip.  
  
"I don't understand why we haven't seen this before," said Reed.  
  
"It is likely that this is the first time that the Commander has handled any pieces of electronic equipment since his rescue," said T'Pol.  
  
"That could be true," said Phlox. "All of the monitors in sick bay use sensors and do not need to come into contact with the skin. Hyposprays have no electronic parts. His hands have been bandaged up until recently to prevent him scratching his rash so he hasn't been able to hold anything."  
  
Reed nodded. "I suppose that is true. I'd better let the Captain know that we have another problem to worry about. Let me know what you find out." With that he left Trip's quarters and went in search of Captain Archer, this was definitely something which he need to discuss face to face. Although he was concerned about what this meant for Trip he was just as concerned about what it meant for Enterprise.  
  
****  
  
I make absolutely no apologies for the fact that I'm putting Trip through the wringer here. I promise things will start to get better for him soon, although there might be a couple more turns in the road yet. 


	9. Chapter 9

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Phlox and T'Pol moved Trip back to Sick Bay so that they could use the scanner. The medical tricorder had not picked up anything unusual so they had made the decision to use the more powerful scanner. Trip was still sedated and unaware of what was going on, they hoped that they could get him back to his quarters before he woke up and realised where he was.  
  
Lieutenant Reed had tracked down Archer in the situation room. They were still on a course towards the Xindi outpost that Reed had located in his search for Trip and Archer was reviewing the information that they had obtained from the Jorgan merchant. It had seemed as if that outpost might provide them with more information about the Xindi weapon and they were still short on leads so Archer had grabbed at this one. In some small way perhaps the universe was paying him back for taking Trip away from him.  
  
Archer had listened patiently while Reed went through exactly what had happened with the padds, tricorder and alarm clock. Archer had sighed, shaken his head and suggested that they should go and see if Phlox had been able to find anything out. They hadn't spoken on the way down to sick bay, Reed suspected that Archer was cursing the Xindi silently in the same way that he was. Hadn't they put Trip through enough? Reed knew that as far as the Xindi were concerned Trip was merely a tool to use against their enemy but there was a human being in there too. A human being who was being slowly torn apart.  
  
"What do we know, Doctor?" asked Archer as he entered sick bay, not waiting even for the door to close behind him.  
  
"The scanner has detected something of interest," said Phlox. Trip was still inside the imaging chamber being scanned, the monitor showing various layers of his internal anatomy, from his nerve network to his bone structure. "I will let T'Pol explain, since this is more in her field than mine," said Phlox.  
  
"We believe that the Commander may have been infected with nanoprobes," said T'Pol.  
  
"Nanoprobes? Like the ones that Dr Phlox was infected by?" asked Archer.  
  
"No, these are not the same design," said T'Pol, "they are considerably more crude. They have a similar metallic composition to the Xindi probe."  
  
"Why didn't we detect them before?" asked Lieutenant Reed.  
  
"Because they weren't present in such great numbers in the Commander's body when we first scanned him," said Phlox. "If we had been able to keep him in sick bay and I could have performed more scans we may have picked them up, but unfortunately the standard medical tricorder is not sensitive enough to discern them."  
  
"Then where did they come from?" asked Archer.  
  
"They are what humans refer to as von Neuman machines, self-replicating constructs. The Xindi only needed to infect him with a single nanoprobe which then took materials from the Commander's body in order to replicate itself. The scanner could not detect the small number of nanoprobes which the Xindi probably used," said T'Pol. "The number of nanoprobes have been steadily increasing since we brought the Commander to Sick Bay, but the population now appears to have stabilised."  
  
"Is there any danger of anyone else becoming infected?" asked Archer, looking concerned. The last thing he wanted to do was put Trip in quarantine, who knows what being locked in a small room might do to his recovery but if the safety of Enterprise was at stake then he might have no choice.  
  
"I do not believe the probes are capable of infecting other living beings, they seem to have been designed to accomplish only two tasks, to replicate and to seek out electronic circuitry and disable it. They are very simple machines," said T'Pol. "If we do not allow the Commander to come into contact with any technology then we should not have a problem."  
  
"Why would they do this? It doesn't make any sense," said Archer.  
  
"I don't know," said Reed, "if Commander Tucker had touched any of our core systems we could have been in real trouble. Even if he'd just logged onto the terminal in his quarters. That's networked and the whole ship could have been infected."  
  
"But they must have known we'd take him straight to sick bay," said Archer.  
  
"Perhaps they expected him to come into contact with technology during treatment for his injuries," said T'Pol. "Or they hoped that we would not detect the problem until he returned to work. They would have been well aware of his position as Chief Engineer."  
  
"I can't imagine the Xindi understanding the concept of bringing one of their wounded a movie to watch," said Reed.  
  
"Me neither," said Archer. "How do we get rid of nanoprobes? Can we blast them with radiation like we did before?"  
  
"I do not think that Commander Tucker's body could withstand the required doses of radiation, he is still weak from his ordeal and doesn't have the Denobulan resistance to radiation that I do," said Phlox.  
  
"I doubt that radiation would be sufficient to impair their functioning in this case," added T'Pol. "As they are less complex than the nanoprobes we dealt with previously they are less susceptible to internal malfunctions."  
  
"There must be a way," said Archer.  
  
"I am sure that there is, Captain," said T'Pol, "however, Dr. Phlox and myself will need time in order to explore the possibilities. The Commander's condition is not life threatening."  
  
"Try telling that to Trip," said Archer, unhappily.  
  
The scanner finished its work and Phlox opened the machine to retrieve Trip. "I think we should get Commander Tucker back to his quarters before he awakes," said Phlox. "The sedative I gave him won't last for much longer and I would prefer not to have to give him a second dose."  
  
Archer nodded and watched while Lieutenant Reed and Dr. Phlox carefully moved Trip onto a gurney so that they could wheel him back to his quarters. Archer noticed once again how ill Trip still looked, his skin was pale, except for where the fading red blotches of rash showed and he hadn't put on much weight since his return. He'd been doing a little better these last couple of days, he seemed to be opening up more and had started eating. He hoped that this wasn't going to put Trip back to square one, but he feared the worst.  
  
****  
  
Trip awoke in his quarters to see Archer sitting beside the bed. "Damn, it must be bad news if they sent you to break it," said Trip, groggily. He manoeuvred himself into a sitting position with a little help from Archer.  
  
"You're going to be fine," said Archer. He didn't really know what else to say, he couldn't just blurt out what Phlox and T'Pol had discovered, but Trip had to be told.  
  
"But..." said Trip, knowing that Archer was building up to something.  
  
"We think the Xindi infected you with nanoprobes," began Archer, trying to find the right words, he didn't get any further.  
  
"Nanoprobes!" said Trip alarmed, "am I going to turn into one of those machine things?" He was remembering the way the nanoprobes had changed the Tarkaleans into cybernetic monsters.  
  
"No, no, you're not, you're going to be fine," said Archer, a little too quickly.  
  
"You still haven't given me the full story, have you? You know I'm not going to like it," said Trip, looking at his Captain with worry in his eyes.  
  
"The nanoprobes are designed to disable technology. We think the Xindi intended to use you as a weapon against us. They expected the nanoprobes to infect our systems and disable Enterprise, but because you never came into contact with any networked technology, we've got the jump on them. We know what they've done and we can get rid of them before they do any damage," said Archer.  
  
"Why don't I think you've worked out how to do that, though?" asked Trip.  
  
"Phlox and T'Pol are working on it," said Archer.  
  
"I thought as much," said Trip. "I guess I don't need to worry about not being an Engineer anymore, I'm not going to be able to do anything at all!" If he couldn't even pick up a padd how was he ever going to be able to serve on board a starship. If he even touched one of the networked systems he'd infect the whole ship. When Archer had told him that he didn't have to work in Engineering it had been a great weight off his mind, he wasn't sure how he could ever bring himself to go back there, but he hadn't wanted to leave Enterprise. Now, he couldn't see any way that he'd ever work anywhere ever again, every facet of existence involved technology, everywhere used computers.  
  
"Trip, it's going to be okay," said Archer, putting his hand on Trip's shoulder gently. Trip flinched and Archer felt his heart sink, just yesterday he'd done the same thing and Trip had been fine.  
  
"Why does everyone keep saying that to me, it's not going to be okay!" shouted Trip. "The Xindi have turned me into a weapon against my own people!"  
  
"Trip, you just have to give T'Pol and Phlox some time," said Archer, but he didn't think Trip even heard him.  
  
"Leave me alone!" shouted Trip.  
  
And there were those words again, Archer had heard them a lot recently and he knew it meant Trip was shutting him out again. Trip was in a lot of pain and he was falling back onto what he'd learned on the Xindi ship, being alone was not being hurt.  
  
"We're going to fix this, Trip," said Archer, calmly in an even tone. Trip had to believe what he was saying even if Archer didn't yet believe it himself. "I promise you that we won't stop looking until we find a way to get rid of the nanoprobes."  
  
"Just leave me alone," said Trip in a miserable voice and he did his best to curl himself up into a ball even though his injuries still made it difficult.  
  
"Okay, this time you get to be alone, but you're not getting rid of me that easily," said Archer, standing to go.  
  
"That's what Hoshi said about our Mah Jongg game," said Trip, his voice muffled by the pillow. "I didn't see her again for two months."  
  
Archer stood looking down at the crumpled form of his friend for a moment before he left quietly. Trip tried to curl in on himself, hoping that the dark hopeless feeling which had returned so suddenly would go soon. He shivered and pulled the blanket closer around him.  
  
Phlox and T'Pol waited for Archer in the corridor. They had both agreed that Archer should be the one to break the news to Trip but Phlox had insisted on being near by in case Trip became agitated again.  
  
"How did he react to the new information?" asked T'Pol.  
  
"Badly," said Archer. "Everything we managed to achieve over the past weeks just went out the window. He told me to leave him alone and he was afraid when I touched him."  
  
Phlox sighed loudly and looked down at the padd he was holding. "I thought we had managed to get rid of that particular response," said Phlox. "Evidently it was more deeply rooted than we thought. I'm sorry, Captain."  
  
"There must be something that we can do?" asked Archer desperately.  
  
"All we can do is make him feel safe and comfortable," said Phlox. "He needs time to heal and adjust to the new situation."  
  
"And the nanoprobes?" asked Archer.  
  
"T'Pol and I are pursuing a number of lines of research, we will let you know as soon as we have anything," said Phlox. "If you'll excuse me I need to see my patient."  
  
Lieutenant Reed's voice came over the com "Bridge to Captain Archer."  
  
"What is it, Lieutenant?" said Archer, going to the com panel.  
  
"Sir, we need you and the Sub-commander on the bridge, we've detected a ship approaching," said Reed.  
  
"On our way," said Archer.  
  
**** 


	10. Chapter 10

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Phlox went into Trip's quarters and found him still curled in a ball, eyes shut tight. "I thought I said I wanted to be left alone," Trip managed to get out. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. He pulled the blanket closer around him and gripped it tightly in his left hand.  
  
"I just need to run a couple of scans, Commander," said Phlox.  
  
"Fine, I can't stop you," said Trip, trying to pull himself together in front of the doctor but he couldn't escape the deep misery that he felt.  
  
"Would you prefer if I didn't run the scans?" asked Phlox.  
  
"Doc, it doesn't seem to matter what I want," said Trip.  
  
"It does to me," said Phlox. "Denobulan medical ethics are very specific. If you don't want me to perform the scans then I won't, however it would help me to treat you if you let me."  
  
"You can take your scans, Doc. I'm just so tired of all this, of being sick, of hurting, of this nightmare that I seem to be living. You know, when Lizzie was killed, I really didn't think anything could be as painful as that, but I guess I was wrong there. At least I could pull double shifts in Engineering when I couldn't sleep," said Trip.  
  
"We are working hard to find a solution to the problem, Commander," said Phlox, while he took his scans. "For the record, I do not recommend working double shifts as a substitute for sleep."  
  
"Doc, you've got to persuade the Captain that he has to leave me on the next M class planet that he comes to," said Trip. "I'm a danger to everyone on this ship."  
  
"T'Pol asked him to do the same thing and he refused. Why do you think he will do it with you?" asked Phlox.  
  
"T'Pol isn't a Xindi weapon," said Trip, with resignation.  
  
"Neither are you," said Phlox.  
  
****  
  
"They are Xindi," said T'Pol. "Their signature matches that of the Xindi probe."  
  
"Can we outrun them?" he asked his Science Officer.  
  
"I do not believe so," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer recognised T'Pol's response, it wasn't a no, it meant she didn't have enough proof to give a definite no, but if T'Pol didn't think so then he wasn't going to contradict her.  
  
"What about their weapons?" asked Archer.  
  
"My scans are unable to penetrate their defences," said T'Pol.  
  
"I guess we had better assume the worst then," said Archer. "Lieutenant, polarise the hull plating and sound tactical alert."  
  
"Yes, sir," said Reed.  
  
"If we can't outrun them then maybe we can find somewhere to hide, are there any star systems near by?" he asked T'Pol.  
  
"There is a star system, approximately nine planets, of which two are gas giants, it is ten point five minutes away at warp four," said T'Pol.  
  
"Travis, lay in a course for that star system," said Archer.  
  
"Yes, sir," replied Mayweather.  
  
The Xindi ship continued to gain on Enterprise but they made it to the star system before the Xindi came into weapons range. "Head for that gas giant and let's loose ourselves in its atmosphere," said Archer.  
  
"Sir, you want me to fly into that gas giant?" asked Mayweather.  
  
"Yes, Ensign, not too deep but enough that the Xindi will have trouble tracking us," said Archer.  
  
"Captain, I must point out that Enterprise is not rated for the high levels of pressure present within a gas giant," said T'Pol.  
  
"I'm aware of that, Sub-commander. We're not going far into it, just enough to make the Xindi's job a bit harder. Hopefully it will buy us enough time that we can come up with something to get them off our backs," said Archer.  
  
"I suggest we do not descend below the five kilometre point," said T'Pol.  
  
"You heard the Sub-commander, Travis, watch your height and keep us moving," said Archer.  
  
"Aye, sir," replied Mayweather, as they entered the outer layer of the gas giant. Enterprise shuddered as the atmosphere moved across its bow, but although the shaking was pronounced no alarms sounded to indicate a hull breach and all the core systems seemed to be holding up.  
  
"What are the Xindi doing?" asked Archer, "are they following?"  
  
T'Pol examined the readings from her console. "They appear to be holding position and are attempting to scan the atmosphere. I would surmise that their larger ship is not able to enter the atmosphere even to the depth that Enterprise is at."  
  
"That's what I was hoping," said Archer.  
  
"The EM radiation is blocking my scans," said T'Pol.  
  
"And probably the Xindi's as well," said Archer.  
  
"Indeed, Captain," replied T'Pol. "However, we will find it difficult to locate the Xindi when we leave the atmosphere."  
  
"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it," said Archer, "right now I want everyone to put their heads together and come up with some ways to disable that ship. We'll have a senior staff meeting in one hour, I want everyone's ideas by then."  
  
If they needed anymore encouragement to work quickly, the hull plating creaked with the sound of protesting metal.  
  
****  
  
When Trip heard the tactical alert he jerked awake. Phlox had given him something that had made him sleepy and he'd been dreaming. He had been somewhere dark and cold, with hard metal surfaces, he'd been searching for a way out but hadn't been able to find it. It was a common recurring dream he'd been having the last couple of days and at first he'd been glad that it had replaced some of his more vivid nightmares about his time as a guest of the Xindi. The dream always left him chilled through and unsettled, it was becoming almost as bad as having the nightmares and he couldn't ever get back to sleep afterwards.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked Phlox, who was reviewing the results of the scans he had taken earlier. Phlox immediately recognised the alarm in his voice.  
  
"Nothing you need to concern yourself over, Commander," replied Phlox, in a calming tone.  
  
"I recognise a tactical alert when I hear one," said Trip, bitingly. "There's nothing wrong with my hearing, Doc." The ship began to shake and orange gas streamed past the window of his cabin. "We're entering an atmosphere. We're trying to hide from someone." A look of realisation dawned on his face. "We're being attacked by the Xindi." Suddenly he was very, very afraid and images of his Xindi torturers leapt to the front of his mind. His breathing got faster and he pulled the blanket tight around himself as if that would protect him.  
  
"Commander, take deep breaths, slowly," said Phlox, he knew that Trip was descending into shock and he had to stop it. "I don't want to have to sedate you again, I know that you can cope with this. You're safe." The threat of being sedated again seemed to have some effect.  
  
"Yeah, safe. Enterprise is safe," said Trip. It was a kind of mantra that he'd been using lately to get past the worst of his panic attacks. "I'm on Enterprise, I'm safe." He closed his eyes and concentrated on slowing his breathing. He remembered what T'Pol had taught him about breathing and after a few minutes he was in control again.  
  
"Good, Commander," said Phlox, looking at his tricorder as the readings stabilised. "That's much better. How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel cold, and a bit shaky," said Trip.  
  
"That should pass soon," replied Phlox. "Now please try to relax. I don't have any more information about the current situation than what you have already guessed and I would assume that the senior staff are too occupied to give me an update at the moment."  
  
"You know, I'd rather die than go back to that Xindi ship," said Trip.  
  
"I'm sure that it will not come to that, Commander," said Phlox.  
  
"I sure hope you're right," said Trip. He wound the blanket even more tightly around himself and tried to get comfortable. It was impossible though, he had too much on his mind. He closed his eyes and tried to sort through some of his feelings. Enterprise was safe, he was trying very hard to believe that.  
  
Here he was, Star Fleet's best and brightest, and he couldn't even go out of his cabin without being afraid. His foot was still broken and his right arm, which were constant reminders of his ordeal, not to mention the scars which Phlox had told him might never go. The doctor had even explained exactly why it was that he was feeling what he was, it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. As far as Trip could work out, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was just a fancy name for being scared by stupid things that he'd never been scared of before. Of course there was more to it than that, depression, nightmares and a few other symptoms that he hoped would never materialise. Depending on the individual and what they had experienced, it could take months to years to get over. Some people never got over it. Even when he was otherwise feeling completely better he could still expect bad dreams and flash backs to remind him of what he'd been through. Basically the whole thing sucked.  
  
He'd been so close to feeling in control of the whole situation, after Jon had taken him to the observation deck and he'd talked through what had happened, explained how he felt and Jon had told him how many people on Enterprise were looking out for him. Talking had helped. He knew he wasn't better but he'd almost believed that he could reclaim his old life soon. Then the discovery of the nanoprobes had hit him like a brick wall, and he had spiralled back down into the black place he had been before.  
  
He'd done it before though, he could do it again. He looked over at Phlox, he knew the doctor would listen to him if he wanted to talk. He made a decision, he was not going to let the Xindi win.  
  
****  
  
Lieutenant Reed was in the armoury. He knew Archer wanted options to combat the Xindi warship but he wasn't sure that he had any to give him. He was working on improving the yield of the photon torpedoes but so far had come up against a brick wall, the very same brick wall that the original engineers who had designed the system had come up against, and they had spent years developing these weapons. Who was he to redesign them in half an hour. It was impossible. He reflected on the fact that so far this mission he was being a lousy tactical officer, Trip had almost been killed and he hadn't been able to protect him or Enterprise.  
  
He should never have left the engineer alone on the alien ship. What had he been thinking? Well he knew what he'd been thinking, he'd thought that Trip could look after himself. He'd seen Trip take out numerous aliens before, he was tough and Reed had assumed he'd be okay while the other two had gone to find the alien ship's crew. He'd completely misread the situation. Even in the Expanse, Trip was still more interested in engines than his own safety and hadn't been paying attention when the Xindi entered the engine room. They knew their target well and had chosen to attack him where he was most vulnerable.  
  
Read had tried to tell himself that it was Trip's fault really for not taking Reed's advice, he had told Trip to keep his phaser handy. Except that Reed couldn't really make himself believe that. If he'd even got there sooner then perhaps he could have stopped the Xindi from taking Trip, but he'd put two and two together far too late. He could have left Romero with Trip but it had seemed much more important at the time to find the missing aliens. Another error of judgement on his part.  
  
It really came down to the fact that Trip was his friend, perhaps the first he had made on Enterprise, and that he had let him down so badly it cut him to his heart. Definitely the others had become his friends now, but Trip had been the first to make the effort to get to know their shy armoury officer. Malcolm Reed knew that he didn't make friends easily and at first Trip's attempts to get to know him had been rather overwhelming, but once he had accepted the fact that Trip was basically well meaning, although lacking in subtly, he'd enjoyed the time he spent with the Chief Engineer.  
  
It was only really when they had lost Trip that he had realised just how much that friendship had meant to him. Enterprise really had become a bleak place without Trip Tucker and Reed hadn't liked it one bit. Of course not everything was back to normal, they still had to get Trip back on his feet both mentally and physically, but even having him back in his current state was better than nothing. Although there was still the problem of the nanoprobes, but he was sure that Phlox and T'Pol would come up with something to get rid of them, and if they didn't Trip was alive and that was the main thing. Even if Trip didn't agree.  
  
It was while he was mulling these thoughts over that an idea popped into his head. He hated himself for even thinking it. It could work though, but he wasn't at all sure that he wanted to carry it through, given what it would mean. He stood looking down at the readouts on the console he was working at but not seeing them, wondering how he would ever be able to look Trip in the eye again after this.  
  
He had to do his duty. He took the idea to Captain Archer, at least this way Archer would make the final decision about whether to give him the go ahead.  
  
****  
  
Archer stood in his ready room, looking intently at Lieutenant Reed. He'd heard him out and he knew at least some of what Reed felt as he had put his idea before his commanding officer.  
  
"You realise what you're suggesting, Lieutenant?" said Archer, it wasn't really a question, he knew that Reed would have never come to him with the idea unless he had considered all the ramifications. He had to at least be seen to ask though.  
  
"Yes, sir," replied the Lieutenant. "I don't particularly like this option or myself for thinking of it, but I can't see another way."  
  
"And Trip?" asked Archer, "do you think he'll be able to do it?"  
  
"I don't know, but we have to at least try," said Reed. "I know what he's going through as well as you do, and I don't want to ask him to do this, but I've run out of options. Our torpedoes won't penetrate their hull, our phase cannons won't work either, and they're faster than we are, so we can't run. We have no tactical advantages."  
  
"T'Pol tells me that we have twelve hours in the gas giant's atmosphere before the stress on the hull becomes too much for Enterprise to bear and we have to leave, Xindi or no Xindi. Can you be ready in that time?" asked Archer.  
  
"I don't see that we have any choice about that, sir, I'll have to be ready," said Reed.  
  
"Very well, Mr Reed, go ahead and build your weapon," said Archer.  
  
**** 


	11. Chapter 11

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
When Lieutenant Reed arrived at Trip's quarters he knew that he didn't want to go in. His chest had suddenly become a block of ice. He was under no illusions, this was going to be by far the most difficult part of the operation. He pressed the button to open the door and saw Phlox sitting at Trip's terminal going over the schematics of the nanoprobes. Trip was lying on his bunk wrapped tightly in a blanket, eyes shut. Phlox motioned for Reed to go out of the room and followed him shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Is the Commander asleep?" asked Reed quietly.  
  
"No, just very scared I think," said Phlox. "He surmised correctly that we are hiding from a Xindi ship. So far he is doing quite well controlling his fear."  
  
"I need to talk with him, do you think he's up to it?" asked Reed. After the previous outburst from Trip which had culminated in him being sedated he didn't want to take any chances.  
  
"He seems to have calmed down and we have talked about how he feels. I think he may be beginning to rationalise his fears," said Phlox, "but I would like to be present, especially if you want to discuss the Xindi, which I assume is why you are here."  
  
"Yes, Doctor, I'm afraid so," said Reed.  
  
"Very well, but if I ask you to leave then you must do so," said Phlox. "His mental state is still very fragile."  
  
"I understand, Doctor," said Reed, and he explained his plan for a weapon to Phlox. He and Archer had both agreed that they would not go ahead without Trip's permission, it would have made them just as bad as the Xindi if they had gone against Trip's wishes. Reed also knew that Phlox would never let them do anything which Trip had expressly forbidden. The two of them re-entered the Commander's quarters and Reed pulled up a chair so that he could sit beside Trip. Phlox took note of the bio readings from the various monitors that kept watch over Trip, but remained a discreet distance away.  
  
"Trip," said Reed gently. Trip opened his eyes and looked up at the Armoury officer.  
  
"What do you want, Malcolm?" asked Trip in a tired voice.  
  
"Trip, we're currently in the atmosphere of a gas giant," said Malcolm.  
  
"Yeah, I heard the tactical alert. I know we're being followed by a Xindi ship. If we're in the atmosphere of a gas giant I guess that means we have about twelve hours to come up with something before our hull is crushed like a tin can."  
  
"How did you work that out? It took T'Pol twenty minutes to do the calculations," said Reed and he knew T'Pol had used the computer for some of the difficult bits.  
  
"I'm the Chief Engineer, it's my business to know this stuff," said Trip. Reed just looked at him for a moment.  
  
"What did you just say?" asked Reed.  
  
"I said that I'm the Chief Engineer and it's my business to...." Trip tailed off. He stared at Reed for a moment, realising what he'd just said. Then pulled himself into a sitting position and Reed rearranged the pillows behind him. "You know, I was lying here thinking about that Xindi ship out there, and I just automatically started to work out how long we had before the pressure became too much for Enterprise. I guess I was so worried about the Xindi ship that the fact I was thinking about Enterprise's schematics didn't even make a dent."  
  
"You have no idea how good it is to hear you talking about Enterprise again," said Reed, smiling at his friend.  
  
"Hey, it's only pressure calculation," said Trip, but he'd done it without thinking, without agonising about the memories that it might bring up. And he felt happy about it.  
  
"I know, but it's the first time you've even mentioned anything technical since we rescued you. Which is going to make what I have to ask you even harder," said Reed, the smile suddenly wiped from his face.  
  
"Well I kinda figured that this wasn't a social call when you opened with how we're stuck in this gas giant. What's up?" asked Trip.  
  
"I think that we can disable the Xindi ship by using their own weapon against them. I'm sure that I can modify one of our torpedoes to carry a payload of nanoprobes to the Xindi ship. It should disable their ship pretty effectively." He paused a moment, knowing he didn't want to say it but it had to be said. "Trip, I need to extract some of your nanoprobes," said Reed.  
  
"You want to extract some of the nanoprobes to turn into a weapon to use against the Xindi?" asked Trip in slight disbelief. "Turn the nanoprobes against them?"  
  
"Yes, that's exactly what I want to do," said Reed.  
  
"Commander, the only way to extract the nanoprobes is to take some of your blood," said Phlox.  
  
Trip visibly paled at what Phlox had just said. "And this is the only way we can disable the Xindi ship?" asked Trip, looking from Reed to Phlox in turn.  
  
"I believe so," said Reed.  
  
"And this.... this is going to involve taking my blood .....with a needle," said Trip, haltingly. Reed was already feeling guilty about asking Trip to do this and watching the man struggling with his emotions was almost too much for him to retain his resolve.  
  
"Yes, Commander," said Phlox.  
  
"Trip, I won't do this if you don't want to but I think this is our best chance against the Xindi ship that's sitting out there," said Reed.  
  
Trip could feel his breath coming more quickly and blood pulsing through his veins faster, but he was trying desperately to stay calm. He ran a shaking, sweaty hand through his hair. "Okay," he whispered. He took a deep breath and said it more definitely, "okay, let's do it."  
  
"I can sedate you while we actually take the blood," offered Phlox.  
  
"No, I want to be awake for this," said Trip. "Maybe if I can face this then I'll be able to face the rest."  
  
"Trip, are you sure?" said Reed. "The fact you've given your permission for us to take the blood is enough. You don't need to face all your demons at once."  
  
"No, I'll settle for one at a time," said Trip, "but every time I get scared, it's as if I'm letting the Xindi win. I didn't spend two months giving them the silent treatment to let them win now." said Trip, all his anger finally bubbling to the surface.  
  
"You're a lot braver than I would be in your situation, Mr Tucker," said Reed.  
  
"Nah," said Trip "I'm scared stiff, I'm just not going to let the bastards get away with what they did."  
  
"I can understand why you want to remain awake, Commander, but perhaps T'Pol might help us during the procedure," said Phlox. Reed nodded in agreement, he still felt as if he was using Trip in the same way that the Xindi had used him and anything which might help his friend get through this more easily was a good idea as far as he was concerned. At least Trip didn't seem to be seeing it in the same way.  
  
"If you think it'll help," said Trip.  
  
Phlox went to the intercom and called T'Pol, and started to set up the necessary apparatus while they waited for T'Pol to arrive, this included a bio-hazard container for the blood once it had been drawn. They couldn't risk the nanoprobes infecting the ship. He was careful to put the needle they would be using out of Trip's sight until it needed to be used. There was certainly no need to frighten Trip unnecessarily, this experience was going to be traumatic enough for him.  
  
T'Pol arrived a few moments later and Reed explained the situation to her. She listened intently to what the Lieutenant intended to do and then took up a position sitting on the edge of the bed. Reed moved his seat so that he was at the end of the bed and Trip could see him too.  
  
"I am ready to begin," said Phlox.  
  
"Very well, Doctor," said T'Pol. "Commander, I want you to concentrate on your breathing and look at me. If you want to stop at any point then we will do so, but I believe that you are capable of doing this. Remember we are on Enterprise and we are your friends. You are completely safe and we will not allow any harm to come to you."  
  
Trip nodded at T'Pol. "Okay, Doc, let's get it over with." He presented his left arm to the doctor and looked away so that he wouldn't see what was being done. His eyes met T'Pol's and he flinched as the doctor cleaned the area the needle would be inserted into. Trip kept his arm in place through sheer force of will.  
  
"I am going to put the needle in now," said Phlox. Trip's eyes were locked with T'Pol's but he nodded, swallowing and wondering why his mouth was suddenly so dry. Phlox put the needle into the vein, he'd had to hold Trip's now shaking arm steady in order to hit the vein but it was in. He quickly taped it in place and checked the flow.  
  
"You're doing fine," said Reed from the end of the bed. Trip didn't say anything, he didn't trust his voice. He closed his eyes and turned away to the right, away from the arm with the needle in it. Even T'Pol's presence wasn't helping him. He was shaking far worse now.  
  
In his head he was lying on a cold metal table in the Xindi ship and he had a needle in his arm. They were draining his life away. He was feeling dizzy. He had tried to pull away when they inserted the needle but they'd held him down until he was too weak to move.  
  
"Commander," said T'Pol. "Look at me."  
  
There was something about her tone, which didn't give him room to disobey. He turned back to her and looked deep into the brown eyes. As he looked at her he knew that he was back on Enterprise and T'Pol wouldn't let anything happen to him. "I want you to breathe with me," she said. T'Pol took a deep breath in and then out, Trip followed her lead. "Very good. Again." The first breath was a shuddering half intake, the second was stronger and each breath after became more relaxed.  
  
Twenty minutes later, they had enough of Trip's blood for Lieutenant Reed to build his torpedo. Phlox removed the needle from Trip's arm, placed a piece of gauze over where the needle had been and told T'Pol to hold it on the place until the bleeding stopped. Trip relaxed back against his pillows and breathed a sigh of relief, he was tired but he felt a sense of accomplishment. Phlox put the blood on ice in the bio-hazard container, ready for Reed to take to the Armoury to be placed in the modified torpedo.  
  
Reed moved his chair back to the head of the bed again. "Well done, Trip," he said enthusiastically, taking Trip's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. Trip didn't shrink back into the pillows at the touch as he had done previously but gave Reed a satisfied but tired smile.  
  
"T'Pol, could you get me some paper and pencils?" asked Trip.  
  
T'Pol raised an eyebrow, "I will do my best, such items may be hard to obtain."  
  
"I know, but I need something to write on. I think I may have an idea about my nano friends," said Trip. "If you could get me the schematics for the nanoprobes on a piece of paper as well then that would be great."  
  
"Next you'll be asking for your slide rule," joked Reed.  
  
"Not a bad idea, Malcolm," said Trip. "If you look in the bottom draw of my desk, you'll find my slide rule."  
  
"Are you serious?" asked Reed. "I didn't think that you actually owned a slide rule."  
  
"Sure, it was a present from my grand daddy when I was accepted to the academy to do engineering. I guess he thought it was a joke present, but I've always hung onto it. Had it valued a few years ago, turns out its an antique and worth a bit of money, never thought I'd need to use it. Glad I taught myself how now."  
  
"Maybe I should invest in a sextant after all," muttered Reed. After a little rummaging around in Trip's desk, Reed pulled out the slide rule. He was completely baffled by it and had no idea where to even begin with using it, he guessed that Trip had seen it as a point of honour to learn how though. "What have you got in mind?" asked Reed.  
  
"I'm not sure yet, I need to look at the schematics, but they're machines, right?" said Trip looking at T'Pol, who nodded. "Well if there's one thing all this has made me realise, I know a hell of a lot about what makes machines tick."  
  
"That you do, Commander," said Reed, smiling. He was trying to push away the thought that the knowledge which Trip carried in his head had nearly got the engineer killed. "Speaking of machines, I'd better get these von Neumann machines where they can be put to some good use. I'll check back with you later."  
  
"Okay, Malcolm. Be careful with those things," said Trip.  
  
"Don't worry, I will be," said the Lieutenant, and with that he picked up the bio-hazard container and left for the armoury.  
  
"I also must go," said T'Pol, "but I will obtain the items that you have asked for."  
  
"Thanks T'Pol," said Trip, and he took pleasure in watching her as she rose from the bed and made for the door.  
  
"Well, Commander, the usual procedure after having given blood is to ensure that you keep your blood sugar levels up. Perhaps I can tempt you with some pecan pie and a glass of milk?" said Phlox, pleasantly.  
  
"Doc, that's one prescription that I'll be happy to take," replied Trip, smiling. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.  
  
****  
  
Archer found Reed in the armoury working hard on his new creation.  
  
"How did it go?" asked Archer.  
  
"Better than I expected," said Reed and told the Captain about how, after a shaky start, Trip had been awake and calm through out the whole process. Archer could see that Reed had been impressed and Malcolm Reed was not a man who was easy to impress.  
  
"I guess that's Trip for you, never one to give up when there's a problem to be solved," said Archer. He was also very proud of Trip for even agreeing to go through an experience which must have reminded him of his torture at the hands of the Xindi.  
  
"I still feel like we used him," said Reed, obviously wrestling with demons.  
  
"If we'd taken them without his permission then we'd be using him, as badly as the Xindi, but we didn't do that. We treated him with respect. And I bet Trip didn't see it like that," said Archer.  
  
"I got the impression that he quite liked the idea of putting two fingers up at the Xindi," replied Reed.  
  
"That sounds more like the old Trip we know and love," smiled Archer.  
  
"He also seems to be taking the old adage 'physician heal thyself' literally," said Reed. "He's asked T'Pol for some paper print outs of the schematics of the nanoprobes and he's decided to see if he can work out how they tick."  
  
"I was hoping his curiosity would get the better of him soon. Before all this, he usually couldn't resist playing with mechanical stuff, but I was afraid that anything technical would remind him of the Xindi too much. And with the nanoprobe problem I knew getting him back to Engineering was going to be out. I guess I underestimated his resourcefulness when it comes to finding machines to play with," said Archer.  
  
"I think he's finally coming round," said Reed.  
  
"Let's hope so, I don't know how much longer I can take him being this distant," said Archer. And it hit Reed just how much Archer had been missing his friend. Reed had felt it too. They had Trip back but he wasn't the same person, he wasn't their Trip, yet anyway. It had been a hard fight to even get him as far as they had. "Anyway, tell me about this torpedo," said Archer, pulling himself away from his thoughts of Trip.  
  
"Yes, sir," said Reed, switching himself back into Armoury officer mode. "I'm building four of them to be on the safe side. They're normal torpedos but I have modified them to weaken the structure so that instead of exploding it will break up on impact and the nanoprobes will be delivered safely. We will need to be precise in our targeting, though. We have to hit the exhaust port of the Xindi ship if the nanoprobes are going to be effective. I think the targeting scanners are up to it with a couple of small refinements."  
  
"I'm sure that with you at the controls they will be," said Archer.  
  
"This is one of those situations where I would have been much happier if Commander Tucker had been able to give them the once over first," said Reed, "but I'll just have to do my own checks."  
  
"The clock is ticking, Lieutenant," said Archer.  
  
"Yes, sir, I'll have them ready in time," said Reed. "How's the Sub- commander doing with the sensors?"  
  
"It's slow going, but she thinks we might be able to get limited penetration through the atmosphere in time for our confrontation. Whether it will be enough to pinpoint our Xindi friends, is anyone's guess. T'Pol wouldn't even give me an estimate until she's got further with her adjustments. She didn't say it but I could tell that she was thinking that our plan isn't going to work."  
  
"It is a long shot, sir," said Reed, "but I don't think we have many options here."  
  
"It is a long shot, but if being captain of Enterprise has taught me anything it's that I have a damn fine crew. If anyone can do this then it's this crew," said Archer.  
  
**** 


	12. Chapter 12

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Thanks again to all those who have reviewed this story. It's rather taken on a life of its own and its still growing.  
  
*********************************************  
  
T'Pol had found Trip paper, writing implements and, most importantly, the schematic of the nanoprobes which he had asked for. Trip now sat poring over the diagrams, he was tired but he didn't care, this was much more interesting than sleep. Where T'Pol had found something to print the diagrams onto paper, he didn't know and he wasn't sure that he wanted to ask in case he didn't like the answer. The first thing he had noticed was that the nanoprobes were fairly simple machines, they had obviously been programmed for some very specific tasks, mainly sabotage.  
  
He took out the pad of paper and the pencil and began to cover the sheet with diagrams and calculations. The maths took a while because he had to do it all by hand or with the slide rule, neither of which were as quick as he could have done it with the computer, but he didn't have that option. He knew that he could have asked someone to run the calculations through the computer for him but at least this way he felt as if he was doing something, and getting someone else to do them would have taken more time. Not only that, he felt his brain could do with the exercise, he hadn't made much use of it recently. Maybe, he thought, he relied too much on computers and the nanoprobes were proof to him that they couldn't always be trusted to give the right answer.  
  
He was just beginning to realise that he hadn't used any of his technical knowledge for the last four weeks and he had missed it. The way that the numbers were manipulated to solve a problem, the way components fitted together to form a whole and the sheer beauty of machinery, he'd missed it all. He wasn't sure that he was quite prepared to go back to Engineering yet, the memories of what he'd endured to protect his knowledge of Enterprise were still too fresh in his mind, but maybe he could ease himself back into it. Okay, first things first, he had to work out how to get rid of the nanoprobes before he could even consider resuming his former role, but now he was working on the problem he felt much better.  
  
He looked at the pad covered with his scribblings. He'd be the first to admit that his handwriting was terrible and trying to write with a broken arm was making life more tricky than usual. He very rarely had to write anything by hand these days and there was some parts of the pad which looked like a cross between ancient Greek and Sanskrit. In fact some of it was Greek, since those were the standard symbols for several constants used by engineers, but the rest of the scrawl he had no excuses for.  
  
He'd just managed to prove that the nanoprobes were immune to the levels of radiation which a human body could stand, it wasn't really what he'd wanted to prove. T'Pol and Phlox had already suspected that to be the case but he felt that he had to check it, as it turned out they had been completely correct. He'd die before the nanoprobes did. He sighed, he'd have to abandon that avenue of research and try something new.  
  
Maybe he was looking at this in the wrong way. Perhaps he didn't have to get rid of the nanoprobes just stop them from sabotaging technology. He pulled out the schematic again and began to look at ways to reprogram what the nanoprobes did. He knew there were only limited ways in which machines this small could be programmed, he just had to hit on the right one and then it was just a small matter of finding the off switch. He tried to stifle a yawn but failed and Phlox noticed him.  
  
"Commander, you've been working for hours, I really must insist that you get some rest," said Phlox, who had been pursuing his own avenues of enquiry with regard to the nanoprobes as well as providing Trip with medical data when required.  
  
"Sure, Doc, just let me finish this and then I'll get some rest," replied Trip, without even looking up.  
  
"Commander, you said that an hour ago. Your body is in no condition to be taking this abuse," said Phlox. Malcolm had found a moment to stop by some hours earlier with a replacement chronometer for Trip, which now sat on the desk. It clearly showed that Trip was working well into the small hours of the morning as far as his body was concerned.  
  
Trip tried not to yawn again but his body betrayed him. "Okay, okay," he sighed. He knew the look that Phlox was giving him, it was his "either you sleep or I make you sleep" look. He cleared the bed of all the diagrams and paperwork onto the floor, and placed his precious slide rule on the table beside the bed. He lay back in the bed and closed his eyes, as his head touched the pillow he realised just how tired he was and within minutes he was fast asleep.  
  
Phlox looked at his sleeping patient and shook his head. Humans could be so stubborn when it came to looking after their own bodies. However, he realised that this was a change for the better in the Commander, who had spent most of the last four weeks sleeping and not really caring about anything. Even if nothing came of the Commander's efforts to rid himself of the nanoprobes, at least the project had occupied his mind and this was the most interest he had shown in anything since his return.  
  
Phlox made sure that Trip was asleep and then went to the com. "Phlox to Archer," he said.  
  
"Archer, what can I do for you Doctor? Everything okay with Trip?"  
  
"Yes, everything is fine with the Commander, he's sleeping peacefully. I just called to ask if you could inform me when we are planning to leave the gas giant." said Phlox.  
  
"Certainly, but T'Pol already alerted you to expect casualties, didn't she?" asked Archer.  
  
"Yes, the Sub-commander was efficient as always. I just want to make sure that Commander Tucker doesn't wake up at an inopportune moment," said Phlox.  
  
"Like when we're in mid-battle with the Xindi ship?" asked Archer, understanding why the Doctor was asking, Trip had been through enough for one day without waking up in the middle of a nightmare.  
  
"Exactly, Captain, so I would be most appreciative if you could let me know when I need to act," said Phlox.  
  
"I understand, Doctor," replied Archer.  
  
"Thank you, Captain. Phlox out."  
  
Phlox allowed himself a smile before he returned to the serious work of finding a way to destroy the nanoprobes.  
  
****  
  
Trip may have been sleeping but the rest of Enterprise was wide awake. Reed had set all of his Armoury staff to work on the torpedoes and had even co- opted a couple of engineers from Lieutenant Hess. They would be ready on time if he had to push the bloody torpedoes into the tubes himself. Although to be honest it was the targeting scanners that were giving him the most trouble. He just could not get the accuracy that he required and they were running out of time to find the problem and fix it. Ensign Prior had had a few ideas which had mostly solved the difficulties but something was still wrong and he couldn't find it. It was driving him up the wall. He was the bloody Armoury officer, he should know how to fix this.  
  
"Bugger," he said quietly to himself.  
  
"I don't think that's appropriate language for a Lieutenant," said a voice behind him.  
  
Reed turned around to see Hoshi standing in front of him with a padd in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. "You've got good ears, Ensign," replied Reed.  
  
"Of course," replied Hoshi, "it's part of the job description. I thought you might need some coffee and I know you don't have time to go to the mess hall to get it yourself. And before you say anything, I know you don't allow food or drink near your precious weapons but perhaps you could make an exception just this once." She held out the mug to him and he gratefully accepted it.  
  
"Thank you, Hoshi," said Reed. "Right now I don't care at all about coffee in the Armoury."  
  
"What's the problem?" she asked, as he took a sip of the steaming liquid.  
  
"Targeting sensors are still playing up, and time is running out," said Reed.  
  
"There's a high frequency hum in here," said Hoshi, putting her head on one side slightly.  
  
"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Reed.  
  
"It shouldn't be there," she said. "The targeting sensors are out of alignment."  
  
"Since when did you become a weapons systems expert?" he asked.  
  
"Since you made me do all that target practice down here. I know how the Armoury sounds and that isn't right, it's the sound it makes when the sensors are out of alignment," said Hoshi.  
  
Reed drank his coffee, handed Hoshi the empty cup and took out his tricorder. He scanned for a misalignment in the sensors but he couldn't see anything wrong. He wasn't surprised, he'd already checked them earlier and would have been alarmed if they had changed in so short a period of time. "Sorry, Hoshi, the alignment is fine," and then he stopped, a thought forming gradually in his head. For the second time that day he swore. "It's not the primary alignment that's out, it's the secondary, the back-ups. They're throwing everything." They wouldn't be using the secondary targeting system, but it was still linked into the system in case the primary blew and under the right configuration the mis-alignment of the backups could cause problems with the primary array.  
  
"Hoshi, I could kiss you," said Reed, but he already had his back to the young Ensign, and was fixing the problem.  
  
"You owe me one, Lieutenant," said Hoshi and made her exit from the Armoury, before Reed could carry out his promise.  
  
It didn't take Reed and his crew long to re-align the targeting sensors but every minute was precious and he would have preferred to have had more time to run tests on the system. Time was the one thing that they didn't have though and Reed wasn't at all surprised when he heard the com beep and Archer's impatient voice.  
  
"Archer to Lieutenant Reed, I hope you're nearly ready because we're running out of time," said Archer from the bridge. The hull had been groaning under the strain of maintaining integrity against the constant pressure exerted by the atmosphere of the gas giant. Enterprise couldn't take much more and it was definitely time to leave.  
  
"Just give me a couple of minutes and then I'll come to the bridge, sir," replied Reed.  
  
"Okay, Malcolm but we're leaving the gas giant in ten minutes, whether you're ready or not," said Archer.  
  
"Aye, sir," replied Reed. He made the very final adjustments to targeting scanner and then gathered his security details. They knew their orders, they were to take up their positions and help the MACOs should Enterprise be boarded by Xindi. However, Reed had some additional orders for Ensigns Scott and Hooper. He dismissed the others to their posts and took the two Ensigns to one side to issue them with their orders.  
  
"You two are to take up position in the corridor outside Commander Tucker's quarters and if we are boarded by the Xindi, you are to protect him at all costs. Is that understood?"  
  
"Yes, sir," the Ensigns chorused. Reed was determined that they wouldn't be able to take Trip again, not this time. He wasn't protecting his friend though, he was protecting the Chief Engineer, who the Xindi might want to re-claim for his extensive knowledge of Enterprise's systems. He knew instinctively that Lieutenant Reed, Tactical Officer, could protect Commander Tucker much better than Malcolm Reed, Trip's friend. Reed dismissed the Ensigns to their post outside Trip's quarters and made for the bridge.  
  
**** 


	13. Chapter 13

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
After contacting Reed, Archer then informed Phlox that they would be leaving the gas giant's atmosphere in less than ten minutes. Trip was still sleeping so Phlox wouldn't have any trouble sedating him so that he simply didn't wake up for a while. Archer was pretty sure that there would be hell to pay when Trip found out he'd missed the battle, but Archer was prepared to risk his wrath. Trip had a habit of pushing himself and it was usually up to his friends to see that he didn't push too hard, this was just another one of those occasions. Phlox was needed in Sick Bay and wouldn't have the time to look after Trip with wounded requiring treatment.  
  
He turned to T'Pol. "Are the sensor adjustments complete?" he asked her.  
  
"Yes, Captain. We should be able to conduct limited scans for the Xindi ship now," said T'Pol.  
  
"Good, let's see if we can work out where they're hiding," said Archer.  
  
Lieutenant Reed stepped out of the turbo lift and took up his usual position at the Tactical station. Lieutenant Hess manned Trip's station and she nodded to Reed as he took his position. It had taken Reed nearly the whole time Trip had been away to get used to seeing someone else at the Engineering position. He guessed it had been just as strange for Hess as it had for him, but she had proved herself to be a capable officer and he hoped Archer would give her the acknowledgement she was due for the hard work she had put in while Trip was out of the picture.  
  
"All weapons are online, sir," reported Reed, as his eyes quickly interpreted the readings from the tactical station. "Hull plating is polarized."  
  
"Are you picking anything up, T'Pol?" asked Archer.  
  
"My readings indicate that they are above us," said T'Pol after a short pause. "We should drop back to intercept them from the rear."  
  
"Ensign, take us out and get us into position to try Mr Reed's torpedoes," said Archer.  
  
"Aye, sir," replied Mayweather.  
  
"Hopefully we can get this over with before they even know that we're there," said Archer.  
  
"That scenario is highly unlikely," said T'Pol.  
  
"Let's give it a go anyway," said Archer, giving his Science Officer a stern look. T'Pol remained quiet.  
  
Enterprise rose out of the angry looking brown and orange atmosphere of gas giant like a dolphin leaping out of water, the gas from the atmosphere trailing off the nacelles. Mayweather just had a millisecond to contemplate how beautifully Enterprise handled even in these difficult conditions before they were bearing down on the Xindi ship.  
  
"We have a visual on the Xindi ship," said Hoshi, who was helping T'Pol with her scanners since she wouldn't be needed for communicating with the Xindi ship. Archer certainly had no plans to talk to his enemy this time.  
  
"Lieutenant?" asked Archer, waiting for his Tactical officer to tell him what he needed.  
  
"We need to be closer," said Reed. Even he could hear the stress in his own voice. "The modified torpedoes don't have the range of the conventional ones." He adjusted the targeting scanners trying to get a lock onto the enemy ship as quickly as he could.  
  
"We will also be within range of their transporters if we approach more closely," said T'Pol.  
  
"We're prepared for boarding parties, Sub-commander," said Reed, in clipped efficient tones.  
  
"Take us closer, Travis," said Archer.  
  
"Yes, sir," replied Mayweather.  
  
Enterprise approached the Xindi ship and there was no indication that they had been spotted yet, perhaps the Xindi still had their attention trained on the gas giant below. Whatever it was, Archer knew it couldn't last, they'd be detected any moment.  
  
"Close enough, Mr Reed?" he asked, tension in his voice.  
  
"Just a little nearer," said the Lieutenant, his concentration completely absorbed by the readings on his console. "Sorry, sir, but I need the extra proximity for this to work."  
  
"Captain, I am detecting transporter signals on decks D and E," said T'Pol.  
  
"Damn," swore Archer. "Malcolm, it's now or never."  
  
"Yes, sir, I think we're close enough to give it a go. Firing torpedo one," said Reed. His thoughts briefly turned to Ensigns Scott and Hooper, he had chosen them to guard Trip because they were the best he had, neither of the two women would do less than their very best to protect Trip if it came down to it. He hoped that the best he had would be enough to protect Trip.  
  
Reed tracked the torpedo as it made its way towards its target. He could already see that it was pulling to the left slightly, it wasn't going to hit in the right place. His hands automatically made the necessary adjustments on the next torpedo to compensate for the drift left. The closer they could get the better, the modifications he had made in order for the torpedoes to carry the carefully contained payload of nanoprobes had made the four torpedoes very temperamental. The less distance the torpedoes had to travel before they hit the more likely it was that they would score a direct hit on the exhaust port. He watched as his first precious torpedo impacted harmlessly off the hull, shattering into thousands of pieces as it was designed to do.  
  
"First torpedo missed the target, I'm loading the second," he reported calmly. He fired the second torpedo, this one was flying true, but, just as he thought he'd got, it the Xindi ship fired. "Incoming weapons fire!" he shouted and prayed that the hull plating would hold. "Second torpedo was caught in the wake of their phaser blast and destroyed before impact."  
  
Enterprise rocked with the impact of weapons fire from the Xindi ship. Hoshi ducked to one side as one of the relays in her panel blew, casting sparks across the floor.  
  
"Hull plating is holding," reported Hoshi.  
  
"Make the last two count, Malcolm," said Archer.  
  
Reed didn't need to be told, but he knew Archer was only voicing the concern of the whole bridge crew. Everything rested on those last two torpedoes and Reed's ability to hit a target no bigger than a couple of metres across. "Loading third torpedo," was Reed's only reply. "Firing."  
  
It looked good, Reed felt it in his heart that this one was going to hit. Even though it only took seconds for the torpedo to reach the ship, everything seemed to be moving so slowly as he held his breath waiting for the impact. It was exactly on target when it did collide with the Xindi ship and Reed followed it swiftly with the fourth and final torpedo, which locked onto the previous torpedo's homing device, a clever addition that Reed had thought to add at the last moment to make his life a bit easier. The Xindi ship was still firing on them though.  
  
"Two on target hits, sir," reported Reed.  
  
"Good work, Mr Reed," said Archer. "How long before we know if it's worked?"  
  
"It's going to be a while before the nanoprobes work their way through the entire ship but it should only be a few minutes before enough critical systems are compromised that they won't cause us any more trouble," said Reed.  
  
"Travis, turn us around and get us out of here," said Archer, he was hoping that they could put some distance between themselves and the Xindi while the nanoprobes did the required damage to shut the Xindi ship down. The Xindi were still firing and, although Travis was doing an admirable job of dodging their torpedoes, they couldn't keep this up forever. Enterprise headed into open space.  
  
****  
  
Major Hayes had been ready for the Xindi. Since their last encounter he and Lieutenant Reed had worked on ways to make their phasers more efficient at disposing of the Xindi, and Commander Tucker had developed body armour which repelled the acid like substance that the Xindi had used before. He was proud of the way his men handled themselves in the tight corridors of Enterprise. If he could have picked the battle ground then this wouldn't have been it, but they did at least have the advantage of home turf.  
  
Several Xindi now lay dead at his feet and those of his team. Quickly, the other security and marine teams around the ship reported in. A few injuries had been sustained, but none of them serious. He was about to order his team to do a final sweep for any Xindi they had missed when he realised that one team hadn't reported in, Ensigns Scott and Hooper who had been assigned to protect Commander Tucker at Reed's insistence. Hayes didn't believe that the Commander was in any further danger, he thought that the Xindi had probably taken everything that they wanted from the Engineer or at the very least wouldn't consider it worth their time to re-capture him. It seemed he had been wrong.  
  
He rapidly rounded up his team again and headed for B deck where Commander Tucker's quarters could be found. He hoped that he wasn't going to arrive to find two dead Ensigns and a dead Engineer but being a marine he knew that the worst case scenario all too often turned out to be the most likely one. Hayes had a grudging respect for Reed, it had taken a while for that respect to be built and he knew that Reed trained his security officers well, but if they had been faced with superior numbers then they wouldn't have stood a chance.  
  
They were still a couple of corridors away when they heard phaser fire. Hayes tried to hail Scott and Hooper again but neither Ensign answered. He indicated silently to the security officers and MACOs to take up positions, he had already arranged for a second team to approach the Commander's quarters from the other direction. As they rounded the corner he saw a number of Xindi making a concerted attack against the two Ensigns who were using the doorway of the Commander's quarters as cover. Scott looked as if she had been wounded, her right shoulder was covered in blood and she held her phase pistol awkwardly in her left hand. Hooper had moved around to cover her wounded colleague and was targeting the attacking Xindi, but the Xindi had taken refuge in another crewman's quarters a little further down the corridor and now both parties were pinned down.  
  
Hayes arrival hadn't really improved the situation. There was no easy way to attack the Xindi position. As he was about to formulate a plan to take the Xindi's position he watched helplessly as Hooper took a direct hit to her chest and went down hard against the door frame, hitting her head as she did so. The Xindi rushed the door, the MACOs opening fire as the Xindi left their cover and hit two of the attackers but the remaining two had pushed Ensign Scott aside and before Hayes could react, one of the Xindi had emerged with Commander Tucker slung, still unconscious, over his shoulder.  
  
However, when the Xindi shimmered briefly as if they were about to transport and then returned to normal, Hayes thanked whatever gods there were in the universe that their luck had changed. The Xindi seemed to be having trouble transporting, no doubt due to Lieutenant Reed's new torpedo finally starting to do its work. Enterprise shuddered as it took a hit from the ship chasing it and Hayes remembered that they certainly weren't out of danger and might not be for a few minutes yet.  
  
At least now the Xindi were pinned down in the same way that Ensigns Scott and Hooper had been. Or at least he thought that they were, they had a brief discussion, turned and went back into the Commander's quarters, shutting the door behind them. As the door shut Hayes and his team reached the two wounded Ensigns.  
  
"Get them to sick bay," ordered Hayes and two of the security detail peeled off to minister to Hooper and Scott. "Open this door, Ensign," Hayes added to one of Reed's men. The Xindi had managed to figure out the door controls and lock themselves in. It only took the Ensign a few moments to short circuit the door controls but when Major Hayes opened the door to Commander Tucker's quarters, the Xindi were gone and there was a big hole in the ceiling which Hayes realised led straight into one of the ship's Jeffries tubes.  
  
Hayes took a second to tell the Ensign to contact the bridge with a status report before he climbed into the Jeffries tube to follow the Xindi.  
  
**** 


	14. Chapter 14

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Archer received the message that the Xindi had taken Commander Tucker and Hayes was chasing them through the Jeffries tubes with alarm. It took all his self control not to run off the bridge and go to join the MACO commander, but he knew that he was needed on the bridge while the Xindi threat still remained.  
  
"T'Pol, are the internal sensors picking up the Xindi," asked Archer.  
  
"Yes, they are proceeding along Jeffries tube 217, Major Hayes is pursuing them," said T'Pol.  
  
"Lieutenant Reed, re-group your security team and cut off their escape route," said Archer. On the view-screen he could see the lights on the Xindi ship flicker and dim, the nanoprobes were spreading through the ship and disabling systems.  
  
"Yes, sir." Reed didn't need to be asked twice, he walked quickly to the turbo lift. As he made the journey down to B deck he contacted his security teams and made sure that they were ready to block all the escape routes. He joined them outside the entrance to the Jeffries tube. Ensign Prior handed him a phase rifle and he checked the settings before climbing into the narrow crawlspace of the Jeffries tube. Ensign Prior followed him, there was no point in taking more men with them, the Jeffries tube was only big enough for the two security officers to fire simultaneously.  
  
The two officers crawled as quickly as they could towards the last known position of the Xindi. Reed had despatched other security teams to cover the junctions off the Jeffries tube, but he knew it was most likely that the Xindi would be heading in his direction. They were currently blocking the Xindi's direct retreat to the shuttle bay, which would most likely be their destination now they had realised that the transporters were out. He was doing his best to concentrate on the tactics of the situation and not dwell on the fact that these Xindi had put two of his best Security staff in Sick Bay, or that they were trying once again to kidnap his very good friend.  
  
They crawled around a corner and there they were, two Xindi manhandling Trip along the Jeffries tube. Reed managed to get off two shots before the Xindi pulled Trip in front of themselves as a shield. Trip looked pale and small against the Xindi and with him in the way Reed couldn't fire, knowing Trip's weakened state he couldn't be sure that a phaser stun wouldn't kill him. However, just as Reed was wondering if he could shoot the two Xindi without hitting Trip, Major Hayes and his MACOs rounded the corner from behind the Xindi. They opened fire diverting the Xindi's attention and allowing Ensign Prior and Lieutenant Reed a direct line of fire to the two Xindi. Both security officers fired on the Xindi and within seconds the hostage situation was over, two dead Xindi lying in the Jeffries tube next to one live Engineer in Star Fleet regulation light blue pyjamas. Reed let out a breath that he didn't even know he'd been holding and moved to check on Trip's condition.  
  
On the bridge, Archer stood watching the death throes of their enemy. The Xindi ship managed to get one more torpedo off at Enterprise before their engines shut down and they hung, dead in space. Suddenly there was an explosion inside the enemy ship and the bridge crew covered their eyes as the Xindi craft exploded in a bright shower of flame and white hot metal.  
  
****  
  
"I don't think that Trip needs to know about any of this," said Archer, standing in Trip's quarters looking down at the sleeping engineer. "I want everyone involved to keep quiet about it." Luckily Trip had been unconscious throughout the whole fire fight and he didn't seem to be any the worse for his trip through the Jeffries tubes. It had simply been a matter of getting him back to his quarters before he woke up again.  
  
"What are we going to do about the hole in the ceiling?" asked Reed.  
  
"Get Lieutenant Hess to send a repair crew down here immediately. Maybe we can get it fixed before he wakes up," said Archer, surveying the damage to Trip's quarters. Most of the fire fight had taken place in the corridor so nothing was badly damaged inside, apart from the obvious hole. "Phlox said we have a couple of hours before the sedative wears off. I guess we can always say it was battle damage."  
  
"Might be difficult trying to explain how a Jeffries tube on B deck came to have a large hole in it," said Reed. "I'll get on to Hess right away."  
  
"We were pretty lucky with the damage we took, Hess thinks she can get all the repairs done in a week and the engines are fine so we can carry on towards the Xindi outpost. How are Ensigns Scott and Hooper doing?" asked Archer.  
  
"Scott had a phaser burn to her shoulder, Phlox says she'll be off duty for a few days while it heals. Hooper's condition is more serious, she took a phaser blast to the chest, her body armour took most of the force but its still pretty bad. Not to mention the concussion she sustained when she fell. Phlox will know more in a couple of hours. I'd like to put them both in for a commendation," said Reed.  
  
"Agreed, Lieutenant. Get the paperwork to me and I'll make sure it gets put through," said Archer.  
  
"Thank you, sir," said Reed. He knew that the Ensigns had only been doing their job but they'd been outnumbered and still performed exceptionally well. He hadn't really expected the Xindi to come back for the Commander, it really didn't make any sense why they would, but his suspicious nature had led him to post the guards outside the Commander's quarters. Being paranoid was part of the job description as far has he was concerned and it had come in useful more than once, but this time he had really hoped that he was over reacting. Spending time in sick bay was an inevitable part of being a security officer but it didn't help him deal with the fact that it was his orders that had placed the two young Ensigns in danger.  
  
"I'd love to know why they wanted him back," said Archer, as if he'd read Malcolm's mind.  
  
"Me too, sir," said Reed.  
  
****  
  
When Trip woke up he knew he'd been asleep for longer than his usual six hours. He felt strange as well, as if he'd been sleeping very heavily and his head was feeling groggy. He recognised the feeling immediately, Phlox had used some of his knock out drops on him and a look out of his window confirmed his suspicions. They were no longer in the atmosphere of the gas giant.  
  
"Bastards," he said quietly but with considerable venom.  
  
"I guessed you might not be too happy when you woke up," said Archer from his seat beside the bed.  
  
"You're damn right I'm not happy," said Trip, vehemently. "What the hell happened?"  
  
"Malcolm's torpedoes worked," said Archer. "The Xindi ship was destroyed and we're on our way to that Xindi outpost again."  
  
"Jon, I've been your friend for too long not to know when you're lying your ass off," said Trip. "It wasn't that simple was it?"  
  
"No, not quite, some of the Xindi boarded Enterprise but Hayes and Malcolm managed to get rid of them before any damage was done," said Archer.  
  
"And I suppose it was your plan to make sure that I was out of the picture while all this was going on. Poor Trip, he can't cope with this, he might have a panic attack and we wouldn't want that to happen," said Trip sarcastically, anger rising within him.  
  
"Phlox thought it might be best not to agitate you. We both thought you'd been through enough," said Archer. "Is it so wrong for your friends to want to protect you?"  
  
"I guess not, I just wish you'd asked first, that's all," replied Trip, his anger dying as quickly as it had flared.  
  
Archer laughed. "There was a good reason why we didn't and you know what it was."  
  
"Because I'm a stubborn son of a bitch?" asked Trip in a resigned tone.  
  
"That would be it," said Archer. "Anyway, you feel up to talking me through your work on the nanoprobes so far?"  
  
"Sure," said Trip, and within seconds he was explaining to Archer the intricacies of nanoprobe technology, everything else forgotten.  
  
****  
  
Two days later and Trip had come no closer to working out how to reprogram the nanoprobes. He was beginning to think that he was going about things the wrong way, perhaps they couldn't be reprogrammed in the way that he wanted to. He was fed up of the whole thing and he reckoned he must have used up the complete paper supply on Enterprise with his scribbled diagrams and calculations. He was getting pretty quick with the slide rule though. It was frustrating knowing that he only had one problem to solve and he just had to find the right direction to look in.  
  
Phlox had arrived that morning with a pair of crutches and the announcement that he wanted to get Trip up and moving. The casts on his foot and arm only had another week before they could come off and Phlox felt his patient had spent enough time in bed. He was still very weak due to muscle wastage firstly from his enforced lying around in a Xindi cell and then from lying around in bed for over a month, the inactivity and lack of food had taken its toll on his body. Phlox had been very pleased to see his patient's appetite return and Trip seemed less jumpy now. He couldn't tell how much of it was Trip trying to put on a brave face but it did seem that he was more relaxed now.  
  
After helping Trip to get dressed in a T-shirt and sweat pants, Phlox handed him the crutches and gave him some basic instruction in how to use them.  
  
"Doc, I think I can manage a pair of crutches," said Trip, carefully pushing himself off the bed and putting all of his weight onto his good foot. Good was a relative term, when he'd first returned to Enterprise his left foot had been broken, but his right foot had been stripped of the skin on its sole. Phlox had had to graft new skin on to it and only now was it possible for him to put weight on it. The broken arm was taking so long to heal because it had had to be pinned, in quite a long operation as Trip understood it. Phlox had reflected that it was now more metal than bone.  
  
Trip was only now beginning to find out exactly how bad things had been when he'd been brought back to Enterprise, Phlox hadn't wanted to burden him with the details to begin with so had told Trip very little about his injuries. He hadn't even realised until a couple of days ago that he'd been unconscious for five days after his rescue, to give his body time to heal a little before he had to deal with the emotional problems of his captivity. Not to mention the fact that he'd been in a lot of pain and it had given Phlox a chance to work on his most serious injuries unhindered. It had all scared him a little, he really had been very close to dying.  
  
He positioned the crutches, one under each arm and experimentally put his weight on them. They seemed to work and he hopped across his quarters carefully. Just as he was turning to come back, Lieutenant Reed entered.  
  
"Hey, you're up," said Reed.  
  
"Yeah, I guess the Doc was getting fed up with me lazing around in bed," said Trip.  
  
"Not at all, Commander, you still need plenty of rest, but also we need to get you moving. Perhaps Lieutenant Reed wouldn't mind accompanying you for a short stroll around B deck?" said Phlox.  
  
"I don't think stroll is quite the right word for the Commander's gait with those crutches," said Reed, smiling, "but I'm willing to act as chaperone."  
  
"I can manage on my own, you know," said Trip.  
  
"Of course you can, Commander, I just thought you might like a little company," said Phlox but winked at Reed when Trip wasn't looking. Reed had already been briefed for this exercise, they still weren't sure how Trip would react to being outside his quarters and Phlox had been worried Trip would try to push himself too hard on his first outing. Reed knew how far Phlox would let Trip go and he intended on seeing that the Commander didn't try to overdo it.  
  
Trip hobbled over to where Reed stood by the door.  
  
"After you, Lieutenant," he said.  
  
Reed stepped out into the corridor and Trip followed him more slowly, taking a deep breath before he put his head outside the door and carefully lifted himself over the threshold. Okay, he thought, I can do this, it really isn't that bad, it's only the corridor outside my quarters and there aren't any Xindi around for light years.  
  
"So how are you getting on with the nanoprobes?" asked Reed, slowing his usual walking pace to a crawl so that Trip could keep up with him.  
  
"I don't know Malcolm, every time I think I'm on to something it seems to lead to a dead end. I'm beginning to think the universe doesn't like me very much," replied Trip.  
  
"Well you're not alone, two EPS conduits blew in the Armoury last night. We're still fixing the damage. This is on top of all the things that we already had to fix after our Xindi friends decided to use Enterprise for target practice. I've got teams working double shifts and we still won't be finished all the repairs for another three days. I hate to think what it's like down in Engineering."  
  
"Probably worse," said Trip miserably.  
  
"Sorry, the last thing you need to hear about is my problems on top of your own," said Reed, and he added to himself, the last thing you want to hear about is Engineering.  
  
"At least it reminds me I'm not the only one," said Trip.  
  
"I don't suppose I can help you with the nanoprobes?" asked Reed, "they were meant to be a weapon, after all."  
  
"Yeah, but I get the feeling that they weren't designed as a weapon. Destroying technology looks as if it was an after thought. I've come across a couple of systems that seem to be pretty inefficient at doing what they do. I just can't get my head around it, Malcolm," said Trip.  
  
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," said Reed.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm doing my best. Anyway, it sure is nice to get out for a walk, even if it is only around B deck."  
  
"It's good to see you finally up and about," replied Reed. "Although I don't think you want to be over doing it just yet. How about we just go down to the next corridor junction and then turn around and come back?"  
  
"I think I might be able to manage that," said Trip.  
  
"After that I'm afraid I'll have to leave you. Hoshi's asked me to help her with some repair work to her console, as payback for her help on the weapons systems," said Reed.  
  
"Hoshi helped you with your weapons systems?" asked Trip in disbelief, he had a lot of respect for Hoshi's ability as a linguist but she certainly wasn't very technically minded.  
  
"Yes, oddly enough she did. She came down to the Armoury when I was trying to fix a problem with the targeting sensors and she told me she heard a high frequency hum that wasn't usually there. She said it only made that sound when the sensors are out of alignment. She was right, the secondary sensor array was out and throwing the whole system. I guess all that target practice she put in did more than turn her into a good shot."  
  
"Maybe I should get her to come and listen to my nanoprobes," joked Trip. Then he stopped in the middle of the corridor, Reed didn't notice his charge had stopped for a moment and took a couple more paces before he realised that Trip wasn't with him.  
  
"Something the matter?" Reed asked looking back at Trip.  
  
"Now why didn't I think of that before?" said Trip to himself, not paying any attention to Reed.  
  
"Trip, are you okay?" asked Reed, concern showing in his voice.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, I think I may have just worked it out. Come on let's go back."  
  
"I don't suppose that you're going to tell me what it is that you've just worked out?"  
  
"Nope, not until I know if I'm right," replied Trip.  
  
**** 


	15. Chapter 15

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Archer was intrigued. He had gone down to Engineering for a status report from Lieutenant Hess to find her getting together sound modulation equipment to take to Commander Tucker's quarters. She had detailed a crewman to take it to Trip and set it up but Archer volunteered to do it instead. Now he found himself watching Trip as he scribbled equations on a piece of paper, wondering what his Chief Engineer had planned.  
  
Phlox sat at Trip's computer terminal going over his scans of the nanoprobes. When Trip had described his plan to the doctor, Phlox had been a little sceptical but he hadn't come up with any reason not to let the engineer try it yet.  
  
"Trip, are you going to explain this to me or do I have to try to read your hand writing," said Archer, picking up one of Trip's discarded note pads.  
  
"Sorry, Captain, just give me a moment to finish these calculations and then I'll explain," said Trip.  
  
The door buzzer sounded and Trip shouted for the visitor to enter. It was Hoshi.  
  
"Hi Hoshi," said Trip, barely looking up from his mathematics.  
  
"I see Lieutenant Hess got your equipment together," said Hoshi.  
  
"Yeah, the Captain brought it up for me," replied Trip. "Okay, I think we're as ready as we're ever going to be."  
  
"Would someone please tell me what is going on?" said Archer.  
  
"I think I may have worked out how to reprogram the nanoprobes. I've been studying the schematics and I don't pretend to have it all worked out but I think we can use high frequencies to give the nanoprobes instructions. The main problem is, I don't speak their language, so that's why I've asked Hoshi to help us," said Trip.  
  
"And the equipment is to generate the high frequencies?" said Archer.  
  
"Yeah, that's right," said Trip. "The only problem is that we don't know what frequencies to use, so we're going to perform some experiments and see what happens. T'Pol modified a scanner so we can detect any changes in the nanoprobes."  
  
"Don't you think this is a bit dangerous? You don't know what those nanoprobes might do to you if you hit the wrong frequency. For all you know they might start attacking your body," said Archer.  
  
"Phlox and I have discussed it," said Trip, matter of factly, "I can't think of any other way to test this out. I've done all the stuff on paper I can and I think I've been able to isolate the frequencies that they'll respond to, but that's it. I've gone as far as I can with the theory, and I'm the only test subject we have."  
  
"If you're sure that you want to go ahead with this, then, I guess we should get started," said Archer.  
  
"Don't worry, Captain, I will be on hand to monitor Mr Tucker's condition. Right let's have you lying down on the bed, Commander," said Phlox. Trip had been sitting in an armchair with a table in front of him, so Archer helped him to hop to the bed on his good leg. The bio monitors were still set up and Phlox briefly checked that they were reading correctly. Hoshi positioned the speakers for the sound modulation equipment so that they pointed at the bed.  
  
"Okay, Hoshi, let's give it a go," said Trip when he was settled and everything was in place. Phlox picked up the modified scanner and started to monitor the nanoprobes.  
  
"Okay, Commander, I'll start with the lower end of the range and incorporate a basic modulation," said Hoshi. Trip nodded.  
  
"I can't hear anything," said Archer.  
  
"The frequencies we're using are too high for humans to hear. Hell, even Porthos wouldn't be able to hear this," said Trip.  
  
"There is a definite reaction," said Phlox. "Their internal structure seems to be rearranging itself."  
  
"At least we know the theory works. Try another frequency, Hoshi. One of them has got to be the off button," said Trip. "This could take a while, Captain, you don't have to hang around."  
  
"I'll stay, if you don't mind," replied Archer.  
  
Two hours later they had gone through most of the range that Trip had identified. Hoshi was making progress with working out what the combinations and modulations of the frequencies did to the nanoprobes but so far they hadn't found the one that disabled them.  
  
"Okay, try the next one Hoshi," said Trip.  
  
"Yes, sir," said Hoshi and cycled the frequency. Trip's body jerked and his eyes closed. An alarm on the bio monitors sounded.  
  
"Trip!" shouted Archer. Phlox rapidly prepared a hypospray as Trip went into convulsions. He pressed it to Trip's neck.  
  
"Hoshi, go back to the previous one," said Archer urgently as he held Trip down so that Phlox could work. Hoshi pressed buttons on the console in front of her quickly, her face registering only shock.  
  
"His heart has gone into fibrillation," said Phlox. The convulsions had subsided but Trip's chest was fluttering in an unusual rhythm. Phlox loaded another hypospray from his kit and injected it directly into Trip's chest. He picked up the scanner and checked Trip's vital signs. Phlox breathed a sigh of relief, "he's stabilised."  
  
Archer sat down on the end of the bed. "I think that's the end of the experiment for today," he said.  
  
"Is he going to be okay?" asked Hoshi, looking very worried.  
  
"He will be fine, Ensign," said Phlox, "I expect he may have a few bruises but apart from that he should have no ill effects."  
  
"What caused this?" asked Archer.  
  
"According to my data, the nanoprobes started sending out electrical signals. It confused his body and disrupted the rhythm of his heart. The anti-arrhythmic that I gave him settled his heart back into sinus rhythm and the nanoprobes have returned to their previous state," said Phlox.  
  
"Will it happen again?" asked Archer.  
  
"Not as long as we avoid that particular combination of frequencies," said Phlox.  
  
Archer nodded. Trip stirred slightly and groaned. He opened his eyes, blinked at the light and closed them again. He put his left arm over his eyes and sighed.  
  
"We hit a bum note, huh?" said Trip in a weak voice.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," said Archer. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Like I just went ten rounds with King Kong and lost," said Trip, uncovering his eyes to look at his commanding officer. Archer smiled. Only Trip could have a brush with death and make a joke afterwards about it.  
  
"What happened?" asked Trip. Phlox explained and Trip nodded. "I wonder what the point of that mode is," he said. "Doesn't make a lot of sense to kill the host."  
  
"I think we should leave the Commander to get some rest," said Phlox. "We can resume our tests tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, I'm pretty beat," said Trip. "You collate your data for me and we'll go over it tomorrow before we start again."  
  
"No problem, Commander," said Hoshi, she packed up the equipment and collected up her data padd and left Trip to rest. Phlox and Archer both left soon after Hoshi. It wasn't long before Trip gave up trying to read his book, closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
  
Trip dreamt. At first it was the usual stuff that had been the main preoccupation of his dreams for the past few weeks, being tortured by the Xindi, and then the dark, cold, metal place. He looked for a way out but couldn't find it. But then the cold metal place took on a different feeling, someone or something was whispering to him.  
  
"1110010100 10001 01010 10001110 00010010 01100 1000011110 10000111100101010 011100," said the voice. It was hard for him to hear it, the whispering was so quiet, but it was there. "1011 001010 1000100111 10101 11101 011101 011 011100101010001010"  
  
"Hey, stop it, I'm not a computer," he said. Binary code, he thought, what computers speak to each other. The whispering continued though, always the string of ones and zeros and as it continued Trip realised that it wasn't just ones and zeros to him anymore, he was beginning to understand some of it. Finally he knew what it meant, the nanoprobes were talking to him in his sleep.  
  
****  
  
Trip woke with a start. Surely it had been a dream. His friends in the academy had joked that he could read the thoughts of machines, he was just so good at fixing them it had really seemed that way sometimes. They'd even made up a word for it, saying Tucker was tech-pathic. He hadn't ever thought that he'd wake up one day with a whole load of binary code running around in his head and know what it meant without having to run it through a computer first. It must have been a dream, the human brain just didn't work that way.  
  
It was still there though, if he concentrated really hard he could hear it. It hadn't been a dream. The nanoprobes were telling him things. They were telling him their population numbers, their die off rate, their current configuration, their programming and a hundred other things that they monitored constantly. He quickly asked the computer to turn the lights on, awkwardly stood on his good foot and then grabbed his schematics of the nanoprobes from his desk. As he sat on the bed again, he knew that the schematic that he had on the piece of paper in front of him was not what the nanoprobes looked like now, those simple nanoprobes had turned into something else. He'd been right, sabotage was not the nanoprobes' primary function. The Xindi had jumped at the chance to use them as a weapon against Enterprise but that isn't what they had been designed to do. They were considerably more sophisticated than T'Pol and Phlox had originally thought, it was obvious now that what T'Pol had seen on her scans was just one of their many configurations.  
  
He grabbed his pad and pencil from the desk and immediately began to redraw the diagrams. He looked over at the chronometer, it was oh four hundred, early morning and well before he'd usually be up. He couldn't go back to sleep though, not with a new problem to solve. What had caused the nanoprobes to start talking to him and how come he could hear what they had to say. More to the point what did this new configuration do? It could easily be that the nanoprobes had now been programmed to kill people or eat plastic or something else that would be equally horrific. He'd think this through before he tried any more practical experiments, especially after last night's "shocking" experience. He smiled at his own pun and got down to work.  
  
Oddly the constant whispering in his head was comforting rather than disconcerting. He had quickly discovered that the nanoprobes were happy to help him with his mathematics. He had been doing sums in his head and with the help of his beloved slide rule when one of the voices in his head had become louder than the other and told him the answer to the equation he was doing. He didn't accept it at first, how could they be helping him with the equations, but when he'd worked it through he discovered that the voice had been right.  
  
He got the shock of his life when the nanoprobes gave him the answer to another equation and, without thinking, he'd mentally said "thank you", only to receive the machine equivalent of "don't mention it" back. His surprised reaction was to make use of some of his more colourful vocabulary. This was getting way too weird, he had to be going mad, it was the only explanation. He'd been under a lot of stress recently, and he wouldn't be the first person to be a little disturbed after a period of imprisonment. It was one thing for the nanoprobes to act as a glorified calculator, but it was quite another for them to be polite with it.  
  
Hess had set up the com in his quarters to use voice activation once they'd discovered that he wouldn't be able to touch anything electronic until the nanoprobe problem was solved. "Activate com," he said, a soft beep told him the com was active. "Tucker to Phlox."  
  
"Go ahead Commander," replied Phlox, his voice calm and reassuring. Phlox's monitor's in sick bay had told him that the Commander had had a bad dream and was now awake. They were also telling him that the Commander was now scared about something, his heart and pulse rate were up. It wasn't the readings of a panic attack though, this was a more measured response. He wondered what was going on to make the Commander call him in the early hours of the morning when he should have been asleep. Denobulans needed very little sleep but humans needed eight hours a day or, to borrow Commander Tucker's phrase, they got "cranky".  
  
"Doc, I think you'd better come to my quarters. Something weird is going on, I think... I think I'm hearing voices," Trip said. Even as he said it, he wished he hadn't.  
  
"I'm on my way, Commander," replied Phlox, his voice still calm as before. Trip guessed that he must be used to panicky calls from sick people, he flopped back on the bed and tried to block out the incessant chatter that he knew he shouldn't be hearing. Why does this always have to happen to me, he thought as he closed his eyes.  
  
Phlox arrived at Trip's quarters with T'Pol's modified scanner. Trip sat on the edge of the bed and explained what had happened, the dream and then the voices in his head.  
  
"I swear, Doc, I really think I must be going mad. I mean it's just not possible," said Trip.  
  
"You should know by now, Commander, that out here very little is impossible," said Phlox. "I believe you humans have a phrase 'there are more things in heaven and earth', hmmm?"  
  
"Yeah, Shakespeare, 'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy'." quoted Trip. "They were talking about ghosts though, not nanoprobes."  
  
"But the concept still applies," said Phlox as he took more scans.  
  
"It's just the idea of a machine being able to communicate with something biological. I mean it's not a new concept, Star Fleet's been trying to get some sort of thought controlled interface together for years but it isn't anything like what's going on in my head. It's like they understand what I'm thinking and they reply. I didn't even ask them to help with the equations, they just did it. If it was basic commands, do this, do that and I really had to think about it, that I could believe, but this is just... amazing. And kind of scary."  
  
"Well, Commander, I don't think that you're going mad. All your readings are normal, taking into account that you are still recovering from the injuries that you sustained," said Phlox. "You're also holding a perfectly rational conversation with me."  
  
"So you mean this is real?" said Trip in disbelief.  
  
"As far as I can tell, yes," replied Phlox.  
  
"Oh great, this is all I need, as if my head wasn't cluttered enough. I guess I'd better get used to it," said Trip, holding his head in his hands.  
  
"Perhaps you should try to go back to sleep, Commander. I don't think there is anymore that we can do about this until we have analysed the data from yesterday's experiments," said Phlox.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you're right. Perhaps I can persuade the nanoprobes to shut up so I can get some sleep," he said to the doctor and in his head he thought at the nanoprobes "You hear me? I'd like some peace and quiet, okay?" It surprised him when suddenly the voices stopped. "Hey, I think they heard me," he said to Phlox.  
  
"Really? How fascinating," said Phlox.  
  
He thought back at the nanoprobes, "you are still there right?" and they replied, sending him information again. "Okay, I was just testing. I really would like to get some sleep now." The flow of data stopped and his head felt oddly quiet.  
  
"I'll return tomorrow when you are properly rested and we can resume our investigations," said Phlox and he bid the Commander good night. Trip settled down and eventually fell back asleep.  
  
His last thought before he fell asleep was "what the hell is the Captain going to think of this?"  
  
**** 


	16. Chapter 16

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Thanks to Silent Typewriter, Sabrina, plumtuckered, Chianna, maraschino, Captain Tish and Tracy – The Cubed Nag, for your reviews. It's always great to hear your views.  
  
*********************************************  
  
"You're telling me that Commander Tucker is communicating with the nanoprobes?" asked Archer in complete disbelief. "How is that even possible?" He was standing in his ready room listening to T'Pol and Phlox's report on the nanoprobe situation.  
  
"It is not outside scientific possibilities, Captain," said T'Pol, her hands clasped behind her back. "Although it is... unexpected."  
  
"But why is it suddenly happening now? I mean he didn't hear them talking to him when we first brought him back from the Xindi ship," said Archer.  
  
"Commander Tucker believes that the frequency which caused him to have a cardiac incident may have been responsible for the change in the nanoprobes," said T'Pol.  
  
"Indeed," added Phlox, "I believe that the frequency may also have caused the nanoprobes to stimulate the Commander's brain so that he could receive the nanoprobes' signal and communicate with them. Hence why they began to emit electrical charges, but I suspect that the probes are not configured for the human body and therefore caused some unwanted side effects through their actions."  
  
"I wouldn't exactly call them side effects, they nearly killed Trip. What exactly do these nanoprobes say to him anyway?" asked Archer.  
  
"As far as I have been able to establish the nanoprobes have helped him with solving some of the equations that he has been working on with regard to the schematics. Most of their communication seems to be related to updates on their own status," replied T'Pol, calm as ever. "However, he has been able to interrogate some of their programming, he is convinced that they were not originally built as weapons and that was simply a side application to their main function."  
  
"And what is their main function?" asked Archer.  
  
"He is having difficulty ascertaining that information," said T'Pol.  
  
"I don't like this one bit. These are Xindi weapons that are swimming around in his blood stream and now they're helping him with his math? I just don't buy it, why would the Xindi inject him with these nanoprobes if it wasn't to destroy us?" said Archer.  
  
"Perhaps Commander Tucker's efforts to reprogram the nanoprobes worked and the original intent of the Xindi has been subverted," said T'Pol.  
  
"I hope you're right, T'Pol, because otherwise we have a problem. If these nanoprobes can talk to him, how do we know that they can't influence him in other ways?" said Archer.  
  
"We do not know," said T'Pol. "I believe that we should consider Commander Tucker to be a potential threat to Enterprise."  
  
Archer looked at T'Pol wondering if she really did consider Trip to be a threat. T'Pol was always logical and he couldn't fault her logic here, they had to treat Trip as if he was the enemy, they had no choice. "I want a guard placed outside Trip's quarters," said Archer, the words almost catching in his throat as he said them, "and if he has to leave his quarters, I want someone with him at all times."  
  
"Are you sure that is wise, Captain? His mental state is still fragile and such measures could remind him of his captivity," said Phlox. "He has come a long way over the past few days and it would be detrimental in the extreme if his recovery were to be halted now."  
  
"I'm sorry, Doctor, I don't want to do this but I don't have a choice. I have the safety of everyone on board Enterprise to consider," said Archer. There were so many unanswered questions. "The Xindi fooled us once with these nanoprobes and I don't intend to let them fool us again."  
  
****  
  
When Archer went to break the bad news to Trip, he was surprised to see Lieutenant Reed on guard outside Trip's quarters. Reed stood at attention, phase pistol in its holster at his side.  
  
"Lieutenant, I didn't think my chief Armoury officer was in the habit of pulling guard duty," said Archer.  
  
"I'm not usually, sir," replied Reed, "but given who we're guarding, I decided to take the first shift myself. One of my staff will be here to relieve me later. I will be returning to my post on the bridge after that, sir."  
  
"If that means you'll be pulling a double shift, then, no you won't, Malcolm," said Archer.  
  
"But, sir..." started Reed, making it obvious that was exactly what he had intended on doing. Archer knew his Armoury officer well, Reed had indulged himself by taking duty guarding Trip and therefore had decided to make up for it by doing a double shift. However, there was nothing in the rules which forbade the chief Armoury officer from pulling guard duty if he wanted to and Archer certainly wasn't about to punish him for displaying his loyalty to Trip. He knew Reed had formed a friendship with Trip and he also knew just how much it had cost the Lieutenant to open up to someone. That friendship had got both men through some difficult times and he hoped it would continue to do so.  
  
"If you want to pull guard duty it isn't a problem," said Archer, trying to let his Armoury officer know it was okay for him to be concerned about Trip. "I know why you're doing it and Trip needs all the friends he can get at the moment."  
  
"It's bad enough that we have to treat him like a prisoner without his guards being people he barely knows," said Reed.  
  
"I know Malcom, I don't like it either. Just make sure that you visit him later, okay?" said Archer.  
  
Reed just nodded and then said "yes, sir."  
  
Archer pressed the door bell, heard Trip shout "come in" and went inside. Trip was sitting at his desk, papers strewn around him, obviously hard at work. His broken arm was now resting in a sling around his neck, reminding Archer uncomfortably that the man they were so afraid of was still recovering from his injuries. Archer could immediately tell that he was angry though and his suspicion was confirmed by the first words out of Trip's mouth.  
  
"What the hell is going on, Captain?" he asked crossly. "Why is Malcolm standing out there doing his best tin soldier impersonation?"  
  
"They were my orders, Trip," said Archer.  
  
"You ordered Malcolm to stand guard duty outside my quarters?" asked Trip facetiously.  
  
"Well actually that was Malcolm's idea. I just told him to post a guard," said Archer. "I'm sorry Trip but we just don't know enough about these nanoprobes. I don't want you leaving here without someone with you."  
  
"Captain, the nanoprobes just aren't capable of doing what you're worried about," said Trip. "They weren't designed to be a weapon, that's just what the Xindi turned them into."  
  
"Trip, how do you know what they're capable of? If you can hear them talking to you, what's to say that they might not start telling you to do things?" said Archer. "I'm sorry, but until we know more, you can't leave your quarters without a guard."  
  
"Why the hell did you bother, Jon?" said Trip, throwing the pencil that he'd been holding down on the desk. "I mean, if all you were going to do was lock me up, why didn't you just let them kill me?"  
  
"Trip, it isn't like that," said Archer.  
  
"Then why don't you tell me what it is like, 'cause that's what it sure feels like to me!" shouted Trip, his accent becoming more pronounced with stress. "Why did you rescue me? Was it because you were afraid I was going to talk? Well I didn't. I didn't say a word and you want to know why? 'Cause I thought that I was protectin' my friends and Enterprise. I guess I was wrong on one of those counts. I couldn't protect myself from what they did to me, so I did the next best thing and it took everything I had, Jon. They took everything!" Trip fell silent, his eyes shining with tears that he was determined not to cry. He was breathing hard and gulping down air. Memories were flooding him and he was struggling for control. "Or maybe you just wanted me back to fix your damned engines," he said more quietly. "Well we both know that ain't happening any time soon. So now you shut me in here and expect me just to sit here and take it? At least the Xindi didn't pretend to be my friend."  
  
Archer reached out a hand to put on his friend's shoulder but Trip shrugged it off angrily. It wasn't the flinch which Archer knew from before when he had tried to comfort Trip, it was a reaction born of anger not fear. "I think you'd better leave," said Trip, standing unsteadily on his one good foot so that he was on the same level as Archer. He kept a hand on the desk to balance himself.  
  
"Trip," began Archer. "I am your friend, but I'm also the Captain of Enterprise." He knew it was the wrong thing to say but he really wasn't sure what the right thing to say would have been.  
  
"Jon, I've still got one good arm, and if you don't want me to do something I might regret then you'd better go," said Trip more forcefully. "As Phlox keeps telling everyone, my mental state is kind of fragile at the moment," he added sarcastically.  
  
Archer knew who'd come off worse if Trip threw a punch at him at the moment, and he certainly had no wish to make matters worse by hurting his friend. Trip looked as if he could hardly stand let alone pick a fight. Archer looked at Trip's blue eyes and saw only hurt and betrayal. Nothing was going to be gained from continuing this conversation with Trip as worked up as he was, it wasn't doing either of them any good.  
  
"Okay, if that's what you want," said Archer and he turned and left.  
  
As the door shut Trip felt all the anger driven energy flow out of him, why did this hurt so much? He was back on Enterprise and everything still hurt, not physical pain like the torture he had endured but it was still pain. He made it to his bed with difficulty, and lay back on the mattress, his eyes closed as he fought with the memories that he'd dredged up from where he thought he'd securely locked them away.  
  
Out in the corridor Reed was still standing guard, he'd heard raised voices and been concerned. Archer looked angry and upset as he exited.  
  
"I take it that didn't go well?" asked Reed.  
  
"You take it right, Malcolm," said Archer, wearily.  
  
"He's just upset at the moment, he doesn't know what he's saying," said Reed.  
  
"No, I think he knows all too well what he's saying. He accused me of rescuing him just because he might have talked. He wanted to know if we got him back just because I needed him to fix the engines. And that is what I put in my logs," said Archer. "That was part of the reason."  
  
"It wasn't the only reason," said Reed. "Just give him some time, he'll understand."  
  
Archer sighed. He was fed up with being the strong one, ever since they had entered the Expanse he had carried so much for everyone. When you're Captain you have to be strong, there was no one for him to lean on. Trip had just lost his sister, his pain at her lost had almost been visible, a raw scar across his soul. He remembered the morose drinking session that they'd shared the night they left space dock, he'd told Trip that they'd do what they had to. He would never have believed that would involve losing the friendship of one of his oldest and best friends. He sincerely hoped that Reed was right and all Trip needed was time to understand.  
  
When they'd recovered Trip from the Xindi ship, he'd been so ill, and for a couple of days Phlox had feared for Trip's life. But he'd pulled through. Archer had comforted himself with the fact that his friend was alive and getting better, but now he wasn't sure that Trip would ever truly be better. His experience with the Xindi had scared him more deeply than Archer had realised. The Trip he had known would never have reacted to his current situation like the man he'd just talked to, this was the person who had emerged from Trip's nightmares; scared, paranoid and hurt.  
  
Archer said goodbye to Reed and wandered down the corridor towards the bridge. Reed watched him go and hoped that Trip saw sense soon, it was killing Archer to see Trip like this.  
  
**** 


	17. Chapter 17

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Trip had eventually returned to working with his nanoprobe schematics. Even feeling miserable and betrayed he couldn't resist a problem. He'd decided that he didn't like the name nanoprobe for the machines that were now inhabiting his body so he'd re-christened them "nanites". It sounded less intimidating. The machines had been helping him with redrawing the schematics, they seemed to carry their own internal blueprints that he was able to draw upon. He was learning a lot about how they worked.  
  
The nanites sent him a message "energy reserves low", they said, as usual one voice making itself heard above the din of data flying between the tiny machines. What had started out as quiet chatter had become louder as he had become more attuned to the nanites.  
  
"Energy reserves low? What does that mean? You guys don't even have a power source," he thought back at them.  
  
They replied "*your* energy reserves low. Your energy is our energy."  
  
"Oh, okay, I need to eat. That explains why you don't need a power supply, you just take energy from me, my body's electrical output."  
  
"Affirmative," replied the nanites. He was beginning to feel hungry and he guessed that Phlox would be by shortly with medication and food.  
  
Trip grabbed the chronometer on the desk to check the time, he only realised what he'd done after he turned the chronometer around to face him. The numbers on the readout remained lit. He tried again, holding the chronometer for a while, nothing happened. He smiled and then he laughed, if it hadn't been for his broken foot he would have jumped up and down. He hobbled over to the door and pressed the button to open it. Reed was still standing outside, on guard, the perfect picture of a Star Fleet security officer.  
  
"Trip, what are you doing?" he said starting at the sudden movement and reaching for his phase pistol.  
  
"Malcolm, you got to see this," said Trip.  
  
"I can't leave my post, Trip," said Reed, relaxing slightly.  
  
"Forget about your post, look at this," and he waved the chronometer at Reed.  
  
"It's a chronometer," said Reed, perplexed. "It's still working," he said realisation dawning.  
  
"Damn right it is," said Trip, smiling. "It worked. The reprogramming worked."  
  
Reed spotted Phlox approaching them from further down the corridor. The doctor was carrying a tray and had his medical case slung over his shoulder.  
  
"Doctor," said Reed. "It looks as if we might have a development with the nanoprobes."  
  
Once they had explained, Phlox had first of all insisted that Trip take the weight off his feet and then proceeded to give him a thorough scan. Finally he gave up scanning and handed Trip a padd he had brought with him. Trip held it and it didn't break.  
  
"Well, I think we can say that you're cured, Commander," said Phlox. "At least of this particular problem. The nanoprobes are still there of course, but they no longer appear to be affecting technology," said Phlox.  
  
"We must have found the right frequency, Doc. I knew it, I knew that they aren't dangerous," said Trip, happily.  
  
"I don't think you can say that with any certainty," said Reed.  
  
"I suppose you're going to take the Captain's side in this?" said Trip, annoyed. "Just lock away anything that you don't understand." To be honest it wasn't that he was being guarded which had annoyed him so much it was that Archer didn't trust him which had really made him angry. Not only was he the Chief Engineer of Enterprise which should have at least earned him some trust but he had been Archer's friend ever since they had met on the NX project. He just didn't understand how Archer could throw away that friendship so easily.  
  
"He has the safety of Enterprise to consider, and so do I," said Reed.  
  
"You don't have to talk to me about the safety of Enterprise, I've still got the scars," Trip spat.  
  
"And maybe that's the problem," said Reed. "We've all been tiptoeing around you not wanting to mention what you went through to protect Enterprise, wrapping you up in cotton-wool. You've forgotten what it means to be a Star Fleet officer. You're behaving like a spoilt child. The Captain doesn't have a choice, he has to do this." Trip just stared at Reed as if he'd been slapped in the face. It had hurt Reed to say what he had, but in his opinion it needed to be said.  
  
"Malcolm..." began Trip.  
  
"I don't want to hear it," said Reed, "if you'll excuse me Commander then I should return to my post." With that final remark, Reed left.  
  
Trip was left feeling as if he'd just been told off by his mother. "I guess I deserved that," he said to Phlox.  
  
"It's not my place to comment," replied Phlox. "However, perhaps you have been letting your emotions cloud your judgement. Not really unexpected in your current mental state."  
  
"I just don't know how to deal with any of this, Doc," said Trip. "I've always been pretty good at coping with things but I just don't think that I can deal with all this. I mean I've tried to sort through it, I'm damned if the bastards are going to win, but it just isn't working. And now I'm driving away everyone I care about."  
  
"As we have discussed before, dealing with your experience won't happen over night. And I don't think you've driven away anyone yet," said Phlox. "Your friends know how hard it is for you at the moment. I know the Captain wrestled with his decision to post a guard, and there is a reason why Lieutenant Reed decided to take the first watch, but they do have to consider the other 82 people on this ship. I know T'Pol suggested that we post a guard on you some weeks ago, but the Captain refused. The fact that the nanoprobes are now talking to you has rather forced his hand in this matter."  
  
"The nanites aren't dangerous," said Trip.  
  
"Then perhaps you should prove that to them," replied Phlox. "After their destruction of technology, I'm sure you can see why the Captain would be worried. He also has no guarantee that they aren't influencing you now. He fervently hopes that they aren't but he can't be sure."  
  
"I guess I owe him an apology. I said some pretty mean things and, knowing the Captain, he probably took them all to heart," said Trip.  
  
"I'm sure the Captain would appreciate it if you were to talk to him. Anyway, perhaps you should eat your lunch before it gets cold," said Phlox, uncovering the plate of pasta that was on the tray he had brought.  
  
"Yeah, now I've got the nanites making sure I eat as well. They sent me a message "energy levels low", meaning time to eat."  
  
"Well hopefully you will listen to them more than you listen to me," replied Phlox. "I also have your medication, so if you wouldn't mind commander."  
  
Trip leant his head to one side so that Phlox could administer the hyposprays. "Maybe I should talk to Malcolm as well," said Trip.  
  
"That might be wise, but I suggest you eat first," said Phlox.  
  
"Okay, okay," said Trip and picked up the fork from beside the plate. "At least this should make the nanites happy."  
  
****  
  
Archer had been surprised when Trip called him to come down to his quarters and haltingly apologised. He wasn't sure what had surprised him the most, the fact that Trip had worked out how to reprogram the nanoprobes so that they didn't destroy technology anymore or the fact that Trip was apologising. He hadn't expected Trip to cool down any time soon. Trip had gone on to explain that he really didn't think that the "nanites", as he'd started calling them, were going to cause any trouble. But he respected the Captain's decision and why he had to do it.  
  
"I'm going to prove to you that they're harmless, though," said Trip.  
  
"Nothing would make me happier, Trip, but we have to be careful. I mean this isn't a warp engine, we know almost nothing about how they work." It worried Archer that Trip was starting to see these nanites as something they weren't. The fact that he'd decided to rename them suggested that he was thinking of them as harmless and Archer certainly wasn't sure that they were.  
  
"Yeah, but I'm making progress," said Trip. "I mean the data Hoshi and I collected will help a lot. She's done a real good job of working out what all the frequencies do. The nanites are being helpful with their schematics as well. I've nearly got them figured."  
  
"You might not be able to trust the nanites, Trip. Just remember that," said Archer.  
  
"I remember how they got there, Captain. But if I can turn this into something that can help us, I have to try to do it. I have to try to get something positive out of what the Xindi did to me," said Trip.  
  
"Those nanites almost killed you once, I don't want it to happen again," said Archer.  
  
"It won't," said Trip. "I'll be careful."  
  
"We're only a couple of days away from the Xindi outpost that the ship we found you on was aiming for. We reckon that we might be able to find some clues as to where we can find the Xindi weapon but maybe we can find something to help us with the nanoprobes as well," said Archer. He didn't mention that he also wanted to know why the Xindi had tried to re-capture Trip, he was still hoping that the Engineer never need find out about the second kidnapping attempt.  
  
"Anything that you can give me would help. They don't seem to want to give much away about themselves apart from their schematics. I've tried asking them why they were built but I just get the binary equivalent of "we don't understand" and maybe they don't understand. I could be asking them their equivalent of "is there a god" or they could just not want to tell me," said Trip and sighed. "How's Hess doing down in Engineering? I hear they had a few repairs to do down there."  
  
Archer looked at Trip as if to gauge whether he really was ready to talk about Engineering before replying. "Hess has everything under control, she'd done pretty well while you've been away."  
  
"Do you think you could ask her to send me the daily reports? Now I'm feeling a bit better, I'd like to know what's going on in my own department."  
  
"Are you sure that you're ready for that?" asked Archer.  
  
"Phlox has scheduled regular therapy sessions if that's what you're worried about," said Trip.  
  
"No, I just know that even thinking about Engineering has been a problem for you and I don't want you rushing into something that you're not ready for. Not to mention all the new problems that these nanoprobes have caused," replied Archer.  
  
"I know I couldn't go back to work yet even if I wanted to, nanites and broken limbs being a problem an' all, but I think it's time I faced another one of those demons that Malcolm was talking about. Just ask Hess to send them to my terminal, will you?"  
  
"Sure, Trip, no problem," replied Archer.  
  
****  
  
Trip screamed. He screamed until he couldn't breathe and then he took a deep breath and screamed again. His throat hurt and he had to stop despite the fact that he desperately felt he needed to scream more. It was his arm. They'd broken it and now they were twisting it, he could feel the bone grinding against bone. His first thought when they'd broken it had been, bastards, that's my dominant arm you've just broken, but that thought was quickly replaced by the pain and the need to scream. God, it hurt and he was doing his best to concentrate on ignoring the pain and the constant questions, but he had to scream. Answering the questions wouldn't make the pain stop, he'd persuaded himself to believe that despite what they told him. It didn't make the pain any less excruciating though.  
  
Then someone was shaking him, someone was saying his name. Someone who wasn't Xindi, someone whose voice he recognised.  
  
"Trip!" said the familiar voice. "Trip!" And suddenly the scene around him faded and he realised he was back on Enterprise. He was shaking badly and drenched in sweat. He hadn't had a nightmare this bad for a couple of weeks. His arm still hurt from the memory of the pain and he was waiting for the Xindi to start hurting him again.  
  
"Trip, you're okay," said the voice and Trip opened his eyes to see the face of a concerned looking Malcolm Reed. "You're safe, you're on Enterprise." His grey eyes were clouded with worry and he had a hand on Trip's shoulder. Trip screwed his eyes tight shut and did his best to remind himself that he was on Enterprise. He was still shaking and he couldn't make it stop.  
  
Reed knew the drill. Wake Trip out of the dream and then provide comfort until he either calmed down or went back to sleep. Sometimes that calm or sleep had to come artificially from Phlox's hypospray but the important thing was to be there and talk calmly until help arrived.  
  
"Where did you come from?" asked Trip in a shaking voice. Phlox had declared a while ago that Trip no longer needed constant supervision and he couldn't work out what Reed was doing here. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you," he added.  
  
"I was just talking to Ensign Scott who's on guard duty when I heard you shouting and thought I'd better come and check on you. It was a bad one tonight?" asked Reed. It had been so bad that Reed was pretty sure Phlox would be by shortly to check on his patient. The bio-monitors were still in place and linked to sick bay so Phlox would have known immediately that Trip was in the grips of a particularly bad nightmare. A quick look told Reed that Trip's heart and pulse were faster than they should have been.  
  
"Yeah, it was," said Trip. His eyes began to tear and he desperately tried to wipe them away before Malcolm saw them. He couldn't stop them though.  
  
"Hey, it's okay," said Reed, recognising the attempt to hide the tears. "You want to tell me about it?"  
  
Trip still shook violently, but tried to get out some words, stammering, "m- m-my arm, my arm, they broke it. It's my right arm, I need it, why couldn't it have been the left..." He sobbed quietly.  
  
"Phlox fixed your arm, it's going to be fine," said Reed, gently. "You're going to be fine."  
  
"Yeah, I know, tell that to my subconscious," Trip said, "my arm hurts." It was obvious to Reed that Trip was in pain, even if that pain was in his subconscious. Trip pulled the broken arm across his chest and grimaced at the memory of pain. He also remembered doing exactly the same thing lying in a cell on the Xindi ship. Then the pain had been real and with no sign it was going to stop soon.  
  
Phlox arrived. He nodded at Reed and quickly checked the readings on the bio-monitors.  
  
"A particularly bad one tonight, Commander?" asked the doctor.  
  
Trip nodded and stammered, but eventually explained to Phlox the content of the dream. "My arm still hurts," he finished. Phlox prepared a hypospray.  
  
"This is a light sedative and analgesic," said Phlox. "It should send you off to sleep again and help with the pain from your arm. It's purely psychological, your broken arm is still healing nicely and shouldn't be causing you any trouble at the moment, however I'm sure the pain is quite real to you."  
  
"It sure is," said Trip and let the doctor administer the hypospray.  
  
"If you wouldn't mind, Lieutenant, perhaps you could stay with the Commander while he falls asleep?"  
  
"You don't need to stay, Malcolm," said Trip, the shaking was subsiding and he seemed more in control now.  
  
"I don't mind," said Reed.  
  
"Very well, call me if you need anything further," said Phlox and left.  
  
"I thought you weren't having such bad nightmares anymore?" asked Reed and then something dawned on him. "Oh bloody hell, this is my fault, it's because I shouted at you yesterday."  
  
"No, Malcolm," said Trip as quickly as he could. "I needed you to say those things. Someone had to, I was just about ready to wallow in my own self pity for good. It wasn't you. It was probably the Engineering reports, I asked Hess to start sending them to my terminal again. I guess it just brought back some bad memories. I suppose that was one demon I'm not ready to face yet."  
  
"I believe I told you that facing them all at once was a bad plan," said Reed.  
  
"Yeah, but what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger," said Trip, "or at least that's what I thought this afternoon when I started reading the reports. I was hoping that even though it brought back some bad memories it might help me feel like things were getting back to normal."  
  
"Ah that favourite quote from Nietzsche, a misguided philosophy if ever there was one," said Reed. In his experience, if it didn't kill you then it usually left scars. "Although he had some interesting stuff to say about a few other topics."  
  
"Trust you to be interested in dull German philosophers," said Trip, his words sounding more tired.  
  
"Actually I always preferred dull Greek philosophers. Couldn't be bothered with the French, all that existentialism, do we exist or don't we, it all seemed bloody obvious to me," said Reed.  
  
"Never really read much stuff like that, always had my nose buried in some engineering manual," replied Trip, his words slurring and his eyes blinking heavily.  
  
"Maybe I should lend you some of my Nietzsche, at least if you're going to quote him at me you should know the context," said Malcolm.  
  
"Thanks but I think I'll give it a miss," said Trip. "I'll settle for quoting him inappropriately." Trip closed his eyes, the drug Phlox had given taking effect. Reed waited until he was sure that he was asleep before he left the Commander's quarters.  
  
"Everything okay, sir?" asked Ensign Scott.  
  
"Yes, Ensign," replied Reed, although, he reflected, okay was a relative term in this particular instance. "How's Hooper doing?" He knew Scott was friends with Hooper, it was one of the things that made them such a good team. He hadn't had time to visit his wounded officer for a few days now.  
  
"She's good, sir. Doctor says she should be back on her feet in a couple of days, but might be a week before she's back on duty. Clare's going mad with boredom in Sick Bay."  
  
Reed had to remind himself that Clare was Ensign Hooper's first name. "I can imagine," he said, and he could, he'd spent enough nights in Sick Bay to know exactly how dull it could be. He wished Ensign Scott goodnight and then headed for the gym, he had some anger to take out on a punching bag. He was going to make the Xindi pay for everything, for hurting Trip so badly that he still had nightmares months later, for hurting Ensign Hooper, for all the casualties they had taken since entering the Expanse and for turning all of them into different people.  
  
**** 


	18. Chapter 18

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Archer, T'Pol and Reed stood in the situation room at the back of the bridge. Archer leant against the table looking down at the scans which T'Pol had managed to take at long range. The outpost was on a densely forested moon of one of the larger planets in the system. They needed to get closer before they could draw any real conclusions from what they had detected. So far no Xindi ships had been sighted but Archer wasn't hopeful that their luck would hold.  
  
"We will be approaching the outpost in a little under five hours," said T'Pol.  
  
"How are the scans doing?" asked Archer.  
  
"They are proceeding satisfactorily, however once we are closer I will be able to obtain more detailed images," replied T'Pol.  
  
"What do you think we're going to find down there?" asked Archer.  
  
"Speculation is futile at this stage," said T'Pol.  
  
"It may be futile but I'd like to know what you think," said Archer.  
  
"There are two main possibilities. We can either expect to find a science station or a military outpost, whichever we find it is likely that it will be heavily guarded," said T'Pol.  
  
"I have been able to detect some pretty heavy weaponry, sir," said Reed.  
  
"A match for Enterprise?" asked Archer.  
  
"Easily, sir," said Reed.  
  
"I'm getting kind of tired of being outgunned," said Archer.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, I'm doing my best but it took the engineers at Jupiter station months to design the upgrades for our torpedoes and the same with the phase cannons. And that was with a complete team of dedicated engineers working on it."  
  
"It wasn't a criticism, Lieutenant, just an observation," said Archer.  
  
"In any case, I'd suggest that we don't go in with guns blazing, sir," said Reed.  
  
"My thoughts exactly, Lieutenant. T'Pol I want you to command the away team. Lieutenant, assemble your security team, tell Hayes and the MACOs to be ready to go down to the surface too," said Archer. "Your target will be their computer core. I want you to find any information you can, about the Xindi, about the nanoprobes and about why they wanted Trip."  
  
"Yes, sir," said Reed. This was the worst part as far as he was concerned, the waiting while they found out what they were really up against. He and Hayes had been running their teams through training scenarios ever since the Xindi had tried to kidnap the Commander. They had trained for every type of infiltration that they could think of and they were as ready as they were ever going to be. However, none of that helped the fact that they had no idea how many Xindi they would be facing or the layout of the outpost. At the moment they weren't even sure exactly what the outpost was doing here. There was nothing worse than going into a situation blind, it was that sort of thing that meant men got killed. Reed didn't like the way this mission was looking at all.  
  
****  
  
Trip had been going over the schematics with the nanites for the hundredth time, there had to be something else here that would give him a clue to what they did. Communication with the nanites was interesting, it wasn't like holding a conversation. Often all he had to do was think ideas at them and they understood what he wanted, but sometimes he had to work hard to find the right words to explain to them what he was getting at. Their replies could be equally cryptic and they didn't exactly reply to him in English, it was more like they replied to him in impressions and his brain interpreted those impressions into words that he could understand. It was a bizarre way to communicate, he reflected but it seemed to work.  
  
The schematics were beginning to frustrate him. Working with drawings was fine but there was only so far you could go on paper. He had no idea how to even go about examining the nanoprobes further though. He'd worked out how the nanites converted his body's energy into their own, which was at least something. Now he was trying to question them on what they'd been built to do, but they were being very unhelpful.  
  
"Look, you could be a little more co-operative here," said Trip to the nanites in what would have been an exasperated tone had he said it out loud.  
  
"We don't understand what you're asking," replied the nanites.  
  
"You were built by the Xindi, right?" asked Trip, trying a different line of questioning.  
  
"Yes," said the nanites. "We were designed by Grenan Dath of the Xindi sloth."  
  
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Tell me about Grenan Dath," he said.  
  
"Grenan Dath, born on the Xindi colony of Rezidi, to parents Gorak and Unida. Attended school at Tilat until age 15 when he transferred to the Xindi Science Academy. Transferred to Xindi ship "Telguth" aged 40. Died aged 52 in the battle of Corrida."  
  
"What did he do at the Science Academy?" asked Trip.  
  
"He was the author of a number of important scientific papers and worked in the area of nano-technology. Would you like the titles of the papers?" queried the nanoprobes.  
  
"Sure," said Trip and the nanites reeled off the list of their creator's accomplishments. "God damn it," said Trip when he heard the titles of the papers. "Grenan Dath was an engineer. He was a starship engineer."  
  
"Correct," replied the nanites.  
  
"Well why didn't you say so?" said Trip.  
  
"You didn't ask," was the inevitable reply.  
  
"So Grenan Dath designed and built you to do what?" asked Trip.  
  
"We don't understand that question," the nanites said.  
  
"But you were built by an engineer and that has to count for something," said Trip. "What would an engineer need nanites for? What would I need nanites for?" The nanites didn't answer, it hadn't been a question to them and they were getting better at understanding when Trip was talking to himself and didn't want their opinion. He knew this was important but he couldn't quite get to the reason why. He took a deep breath and tried to decide if there was a way to get the information that he wanted. "What about the Xindi? What can you tell me about the Xindi?"  
  
"Grenan Dath of the Xindi sloth was our designer. We have no other information about the Xindi," replied the nanites. Trip was working blind, he really had no idea what sort of information the nanites carried within them and he had expected to hit dead ends before he got anything useful out of them. What he hadn't expected was to hit so many dead ends and for it to take so long to find anything even remotely useful to him. It seemed as if the nanite's knowledge was limited to technology.  
  
"The Xindi have some pretty cool technology. What can you tell me about that?" he tried.  
  
"You don't have clearance for that information," the nanites said.  
  
"I don't have clearance? That's a new one. You're inhabiting my body and I don't have clearance," said Trip. The nanites apologised but wouldn't budge. "Damn, another brick wall," he said and closed his eyes trying to gather his thoughts. He was thinking about all the information that they had collected so far. The Xindi database that they had recovered and the symbols which had flashed across the screen. He knew that they would be approaching the Xindi outpost soon and he desperately wanted to come up with something which would help the away team when they got there.  
  
The nanites sent him the equivalent message to "well why didn't you say," and suddenly a whole raft of green Xindi symbols ran through his head. Trip grabbed a padd and quickly scribbled down the symbols before he could forget them. He knew what they were as well, he hobbled to the comm, maybe this would persuade the Captain that the nanoprobes really were harmless.  
  
****  
  
"They just told you this? They just gave you the computer codes for the outpost?" asked Archer. He and Hoshi were sitting in Trip's quarters while he tried to explain what the nanites had just given him. Hoshi was looking at the symbols that Trip had written down.  
  
"Well I wouldn't say that, apparently I don't have clearance to access the really sensitive stuff. Despite them swimming around in my body, they don't trust me with everything, I guess they know I'm not Xindi. I was thinking about that Xindi database that we downloaded and the outpost that we're approaching. They sent me something like "authorisation accepted" and they... just told me," said Trip.  
  
"So who was this Grenan Dath?" asked Archer.  
  
"Like I said, he was the guy who designed and built the nanites," said Trip.  
  
"He's Xindi?" asked Archer.  
  
"Yes, he's Xindi, but you know as well as I do that doesn't make him a bad person," said Trip. "Gralik helped us. Grenan Dath wasn't a weapons designer, he was an engineer, like me."  
  
"That doesn't mean he didn't design a weapon, even if he didn't intend to," said Archer.  
  
"I can't decipher this, sir," said Hoshi. "It's just a string of symbols, these aren't words."  
  
"Which makes sense, right?" said Trip, "I mean a string of numbers and characters is what we use for our computer codes. It follows that they'd use something similar."  
  
"Trip, they might not even be their computer codes. For all we know it's the outpost's self-destruct code and they told it to you to lure us into a trap."  
  
"Why won't you believe me when I say that they're not a weapon. I'm telling you, these are the computer codes for that outpost," said Trip.  
  
Archer looked at Trip. "You've got to understand how unbelievable this all sounds. I mean first of all the Xindi inject you with these nanoprobes which destroy any piece of technology you touch. Then suddenly they start talking to you and you're getting friendly with them."  
  
"I wouldn't call it friendly, but it's hard not to get to know them when they're sharing my head," replied Trip.  
  
"Trip, my point is that they were built by the Xindi and therefore they have to be suspect," said Archer.  
  
Trip nodded. "I understand that, Captain, but just this once maybe you could take my word for it." He paused, looking down at his hands. "There's something else. I can read Xindi," said Trip.  
  
"You can?" asked Hoshi. "Hang on let me test you," she added and quickly tapped on the padd she was holding. She passed the padd to him covered in the spiky Xindi symbols that he had recognised before.  
  
"It says: if you can read this I'll be very surprised," said Trip and smiled at Hoshi.  
  
"Yes, it does," said Hoshi. "Have you any idea how long its taken me to get this far with Xindi? How come you can suddenly translate it as quickly as you read it?"  
  
"Actually it isn't me, the nanites just tell me what it says. They do all the interpreting, I'm just letting them borrow my eyes," said Trip.  
  
"I don't care if you can read Xindi, that doesn't make me trust the information any more," said Archer.  
  
"Having the computer codes could make all the difference between life and death for the away team," said Trip.  
  
"I'm well aware of that, Trip," said Archer. "I'll give the information to T'Pol, but she's commanding the away team and it's up to her as to whether she decides to use it or not."  
  
"But, Captain..." said Trip, but Archer already had a hand up to stop Trip from continuing.  
  
"That's my final answer, Trip. Let's find out what's down there and then we'll talk again about this."  
  
Trip hung his head but didn't say anymore.  
  
"T'Pol to Archer," said the comm.  
  
"Archer here, go ahead."  
  
"Captain, we are entering the system containing the outpost," said T'Pol.  
  
"Very well, find us a place to hide. I'm coming to the bridge."  
  
**** 


	19. Chapter 19

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
AN: Thanks again to all my reviewers. The end is in sight, I promise.  
  
*********************************************  
  
"T'Pol, tell me what we've got," said Archer, stepping onto the bridge from the turbo lift. Reed and T'Pol were once again examining scans in the situation room. Enterprise was hidden in an asteroid belt at the edge of the star system, further out from the moon that was their target.  
  
"It is a heavily guarded and shielded facility. We have not been detected but they have extensive atmospheric sensor nets. It will make it difficult to land the shuttlepods," said T'Pol.  
  
"Can we use the transporters?" asked Archer.  
  
"The shielding would prevent that," replied T'Pol.  
  
"Do we still have the Suliban cell ship?" asked Archer.  
  
"Yes, sir," said Reed. "But we can't fit more than six people with equipment in the cell ship and Travis is the only one who can fly it. That's a smaller team that I was hoping to take." Reed would have been happier with two shuttlepods full of marines and security officers. He would have settled for one shuttlepod at a push but six people, one of whom would have to be Travis, would never be enough. "Major Hayes and I had planned on a full assault squad. Six people won't be able to do this, Captain."  
  
"T'Pol?" said Archer.  
  
"I believe it can still be done, if the computer codes that Commander Tucker gave us are genuine."  
  
"That's a big if, Sub-commander," said Reed. Trip might be his friend but he still had to be realistic, at the moment there was no guarantee that Trip knew what he was talking about when it came to the nanoprobes and therefore no guarantee that the codes were genuine.  
  
"We have only limited options, Lieutenant," said T'Pol.  
  
"Agreed, Sub-commander, but what if the computer codes are a trap?" asked Reed.  
  
"If they are a trap, then we will have only sacrificed six men," said T'Pol. "The information this outpost could provide is worth the risk in my estimation."  
  
"It's still the lives of six people," said Archer.  
  
"It's six lives versus six billion," said Reed.  
  
"Yes but will those six lives gain us anything?" asked Archer. "Otherwise it's a sacrifice for no reason."  
  
"From what we've been able to ascertain this is a Xindi outpost of great importance," said T'Pol. "This is the best lead on the weapon that we have had since we entered the Expanse, and we cannot deal with the nanoprobes until we have further data and I believe that this is the best way to get it." Archer noticed that T'Pol was still referring to them as nanoprobes rather than adopting Trip's terminology.  
  
"You're right, T'Pol," said Archer. "We don't have a choice here, we have to try it, even if it is a trap. What do your scans show?"  
  
"It appears that the outpost is a science station, I have passed diagrams of the interior layout to Lieutenant Reed and Major Hayes. We will get to work on revising our plan for infiltration to take account of the smaller team we will have at out disposal. The main computer core is heavily guarded but Lieutenant Reed has produced some ideas on how to get around their security. I believe we have a good chance of success," finished T'Pol.  
  
"Okay, you have two hours to get ready. Let me know as soon as you're happy with your plan of action, and I expect all of you to return from this. Is that understood?" said Archer.  
  
"Yes, Captain," replied T'Pol and Reed, even though they both knew that this was most likely a one way mission.  
  
****  
  
"Signal detected," said the nanites.  
  
"Signal?" asked Trip.  
  
"Yes, Xindi homing frequency detected. Responding," said the nanites.  
  
"No, don't," said Trip but it was too late, he heard the response go out. We're here, said the nanites and the Xindi responded, come home.  
  
"They have detected our presence," replied the nanites.  
  
"They know Enterprise is hiding in the asteroid field?" asked Trip.  
  
"Indirectly. They know of the presence of nanites. They detected us and will infer the presence of a ship," said the nanites.  
  
"Great," said Trip sarcastically. The nanites didn't understand sarcasm as yet and asked for clarification. Trip told them to ignore the remark which they did happily. "I have to get off Enterprise or we're all going to be toast." There was the problem of the guard though. Trip knew that even though it wasn't Malcolm guarding him, he wasn't a match for any of the security officers, especially not in his current state with one arm in a sling and needing his crutches to get anywhere. He needed to think of a plan quickly, he didn't think the Captain would go for just putting him in a shuttlepod.  
  
"What do you know about this outpost?" he asked. The nanites sent him a request for clearance and he did what he had done before and thought about the Xindi database they had found. Suddenly a whole slew of data was downloaded directly into his head and, surprisingly, it hurt. Trip held his head and willed the headache to subside as the images he'd received felt as if they were burning themselves into his brain. He managed to reach the com. "Tucker to Phlox."  
  
"Go ahead Commander," said Phlox.  
  
"Doc, I'm having a bit of trouble," he got out and felt himself lose the power to remain upright as blinding pain hit him. He vaguely heard Phlox calling him by name over the com but he didn't have the ability to answer. This was a bad time to pass out, he needed to talk to the Captain and he needed to leave Enterprise before they worked out where the nanites were. His body was betraying him though. His vision distorted and everything he saw seemed to be down a long tunnel. He leant against the wall and then slowly slid to the floor before passing out completely.  
  
He awoke to the concerned face of his guard and Dr Phlox. His head felt as if it had been turned inside out and when he moved his head the room moved with him. A wave of dizziness swept over him again and he fought to hold onto his tenuous grip on consciousness.  
  
"Get the Captain," he said to Phlox, with great difficulty. His brain just didn't seem to be making the connection to his mouth, he had to force every word out. His head was throbbing so hard he couldn't form coherent thoughts. "Please," he added. Some pieces of information were making themselves clear and he didn't like what he saw, he had to talk to the Captain.  
  
Phlox nodded to the security officer who had been guarding him and he heard him in the distance calling for the Captain. He couldn't hang on any longer, everything just hurt too much. There were too many people shouting at him in his head and the images that he saw were so bright that they burned into him. His eyes rolled back in his head and he was in merciful darkness again.  
  
****  
  
Lieutenant Reed felt the familiar rush of adrenaline that preceded a combat mission. He had prepared as well as he could and now it was time to put all that training into practice. There were six of them squeezed into the Suliban cell ship, Mayweather, Hayes, T'Pol, Corporal Cole, Corporal Romero and himself. They hadn't been able to bring much equipment so they were all hoping that they wouldn't encounter anything that they hadn't planned for. Reed was thankful that they'd been able to bring as much as they had.  
  
"We're coming up on the moon, Sub-commander," said Mayweather.  
  
"Proceed with caution," said T'Pol. "Is the cloaking device still functioning satisfactorily?"  
  
"Yes, no problems," replied Reed. "Unless we're unlucky and they know to look for a cloaked ship, we should remain undetected."  
  
The occupants of the cell ship collectively held their breath as Mayweather entered the atmosphere of the moon. Reed kept an eye on the scanners for anything remotely suspicious looking but their luck held and no craft appeared. T'Pol on the other side of Mayweather was monitoring the sensors intensely for any sign that they had been scanned or detected by another means. Reed thought that in fact their luck was being too good and he was waiting for the whole mission to blow up in their faces. Optimism, he reflected, was not a useful trait in a Tactical Officer, despite what Commander Tucker thought.  
  
Mayweather gently set the cell ship down a reasonable distance away from the outpost at a landing site they had already identified. Everything still seemed to be quiet and the Xindi hadn't realised that they were there. They embarked from the cell ship silently and made their way toward the outpost carefully through the dense forest which covered the majority of the moon they had landed on. It was night on the moon which they hoped would give them extra cover although the Xindi sensors were more worrisome. Reed watched T'Pol's cat like stride and wondered if all Vulcans were as agile as the Sub-commander, but quietly told himself to grow up and concentrate on the mission. They were in enemy territory and he needed all his wits about him.  
  
A searchlight swept the forest and the Enterprise crewmembers pressed themselves back against the trees. Reed was worried about Mayweather, he wasn't trained for this, but then he hadn't had much choice about whether to bring him with them. He'd been on away missions before but never one in which he had been called to infiltrate an enemy base. This was a completely different type of away mission compared to what Mayweather was used to.  
  
T'Pol signalled to Reed and Hayes to move forwards towards the base, the two MACOs and Mayweather followed them. T'Pol covered their backs and Reed took point. They reached the perimeter of the outpost, a row of sensors and shield generators. Reed quickly took out the equipment from his backpack that he needed and set about disabling the enemy systems. He silently wished that their Chief Engineer had been able to accompany them, he would have been able to short circuit the enemy sensors and shields much faster than Reed could do it, and every second counted in this situation. Reed had the shields and sensors down in less than a minute but he wondered if he had taken too long, a few seconds would have been enough for the Xindi to detect them. No alarms sounded though so he had to hope that he'd been fast enough.  
  
The five humans and one Vulcan made their way inside the buildings of outpost, since they had left the cell ship no one had spoken a word. T'Pol looked at her scanner and again indicated to her team the direction that they should go. So far everything was going according to plan as it logically should do if they remained undetected, however T'Pol did not expect them to remain undetected much longer.  
  
The corridors were made of unpainted steel. The lights were low compared to those on Enterprise and cast eerie shadows on the wall. Pipes and conduits ran along the ceiling, exposing the inner workings of the outpost to T'Pol's scans and she didn't like what she found. Despite her control over her emotions, what she saw on her scanner chilled her to her bones.  
  
**** 


	20. Chapter 20

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
AN: I'm on holiday this week so I've finally been able to take some time to write. I should finish posting this story in the next few days.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Trip was fairly certain that he had died, the pain had been so intense that he was almost sure that it had killed him. It had felt like a knife had been driven through his head. If it hadn't killed him, he had no right to be alive. Thus, when he did finally peel his eyes open and found himself lying on his own bed in his quarters he was very surprised, and even more surprised to see Archer sitting beside his bed.  
  
"This is getting to be a habit," he said.  
  
"Doctor, he's awake," said Archer and Phlox came into view. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better," said Trip, lying expertly. A sharp intake of breath as a dagger of pain hit gave him away. "It still hurts a bit," admitted Trip. He tried to get up but Archer stopped him from rising. Even as he moved, his head reminded him why he'd collapsed in the first place, it still felt like he had a really bad hangover. Phlox was checking readings and taking scans.  
  
"I'll give you an analgesic," said Phlox and sorted out the required hypospray, which he pressed to Trip's neck. The pain dissipated almost immediately.  
  
"Trip, your eyes," said Archer.  
  
"What about them?" asked Trip.  
  
"They're silver," said Archer. He located Trip's shaving mirror and held it up so that Trip could see them. Trip stared into blank silver eyes that weren't his own; his blue irises had completely disappeared.  
  
"Weird," said Trip. "I can see fine." In actuality Trip knew exactly what the silver eyes meant. The homing beacon had been activated and was calling the nanites home.  
  
"What happened?" asked Archer, looking concerned.  
  
"I wish I knew," said Trip, which was a half truth at best. "Suddenly my head felt like someone ran a shuttlepod over it. I just asked an innocent question and it was as if every nanite in my body had something to tell me, really loudly..." he trailed off. "Damn," he said with feeling, remembering why he'd asked the question in the first place. "Captain, you have to get me off Enterprise now and don't let the away team go down to the surface." Perhaps he could persuade Archer to help him, that would certainly make things easier for him.  
  
"What? Why?" asked Archer looking worried.  
  
"The Xindi found the nanites, they know I'm here. That outpost isn't what it seems, you can't let the away team go down there," said Trip urgently.  
  
"It's too late, Trip, they've already left," said Archer.  
  
"Then get them back!" said Trip, alarmed.  
  
"I can't, it would jeopardise the whole mission and probably get them killed if we break radio silence. By my estimation, they should be entering the base by now," said Archer.  
  
Trip looked at Archer, "we have to warn them then."  
  
"Warn them of what?" asked Archer.  
  
"I...I don't know, but there's something in that outpost that is really bad, Captain," and I need to get down there, he added to himself, I have to get down there, it's where I'm meant to be. The images in his head were all jumbled and he couldn't make sense of them, it was making it hard to think and overriding everything was the need to get down to the moon. He couldn't tell Archer that though. He just had to concentrate on putting on a good enough act now that they'd leave him alone.  
  
"Tell me about how the Xindi found the nanites," said Archer.  
  
Trip started up in bed again, he had to get off Enterprise but he still wanted to keep the ship safe. "The Xindi sent a scan frequency out and the nanites responded. They told them where we are. It's not exactly their fault, it's what they were programmed to do and I didn't know about it until they told me, but it means the Xindi know we're here. They may even know that the away team is coming. Captain, you have to put me in a shuttlepod now!"  
  
"I can't do that, Trip," said Archer.  
  
"But you have to," said Trip. "The nanites will give away our position to the Xindi."  
  
"If they have told the Xindi where we are then it's already too late," said Archer. "Putting you in a shuttlepod won't help matters."  
  
"They need the nanites to track us. Even if they don't get us this time, if you let me stay on board they'll be able to tell where we are all the time we're in the Expanse. You have to get me off the ship," said Trip.  
  
"And how would you survive in the Expanse without Enterprise?" asked Archer. "You're asking me to sign your execution order, Trip."  
  
"This is no time for sentimentality," said Trip.  
  
"The answer is no, Trip, end of conversation," said Archer.  
  
"Is there something that you want to tell me, Captain?" asked Trip, "because I'm getting the feeling that there's more to this than you're letting on."  
  
"Nothing you need to worry about," replied the Captain, he still didn't want to tell Trip about his second run in with the Xindi. That incident had left him with a feeling that letting Trip fall back into enemy hands would be more trouble than avoiding a few Xindi ships. "I'm more interested in why Phlox found you lying on the floor of your quarters."  
  
Trip sighed, he really didn't have time to play along. He had to leave. The nanites sent him the message again "we need to leave, we need to get off this ship, we need to go down to the moon." It was a powerful message and he was finding it hard to ignore, especially since it matched his own desire to keep Enterprise safe. Trip told the nanites to be patient. He was left with the need to answer Archer's question before the Captain realised that he was holding his own internal conversation with the nanites in his head.  
  
"It was weird," said Trip, "the nanites told me a whole bunch of stuff, but they sent it to me all at once and I still can't make sense of it all. It felt like hundreds of people were shouting real loud at me all together. My head hurt so much that I barely got to the com to call Phlox. I think I came round long enough to tell them to call you and then I was out of it again."  
  
"Captain, Commander Tucker needs to rest," said Phlox. "His brain activity is very intense at the moment and I would prefer if he could be left to sleep for a while. His brain needs time to process the new information which the nanoprobes imparted to him."  
  
"It sounds like you understand what happened," said Archer.  
  
"To a certain extent," replied Phlox. "His brain was simply overloaded by the amount of information that it was trying to process and therefore caused Commander Tucker to experience the severe headaches and dizziness that he did. His brain has now managed to take in the information but has locked it away until it can be processed which would normally happen during sleep. If the Commander ever expects to have access to this information, he needs to rest and let his unconscious brain do the sorting out for him. What I don't understand is why they decided to send this information to him now."  
  
"Why are his eyes silver?" asked Archer.  
  
"I'm not sure but I think that it has something to do with the increased nanoprobe activity in his brain," said Phlox. "I don't think it's dangerous, as long as the Commander's sight isn't affected, it's probably nothing to worry about."  
  
"I'm kind of tired," said Trip and faked a yawn. The nanites were insistently telling him that he had to leave Enterprise and go to the outpost on the moon.  
  
"I'm not surprised," said Archer, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I'll be back later when you're rested."  
  
"I'll see you later, Captain," said Trip, amiably. Archer left and a few minutes later, after giving Trip a thorough check, Phlox followed him.  
  
"Now we can leave," said the nanites to Trip.  
  
"Yeah, now we can leave," said Trip.  
  
****  
  
The outpost was crawling with nanoprobes. They were running through the conduits and pipes above the away team in their millions. The conduits were lined with glass, one of the few materials that the nanoprobes didn't seem to be able to manipulate. T'Pol scanned the nanoprobes, but as she hadn't brought her modified scanner with her she was unable to ascertain the interior structure of the nanoprobes that were passing over their heads like so many insects. T'Pol certainly didn't want to contemplate what would happen if one of the conduits was damaged.  
  
"What does this mean, Sub-commander?" asked Reed, very quietly. The away team was huddled together behind some crates in a corridor of the outpost.  
  
"I don't know," said T'Pol. "Our mission remains unchanged, we still need to reach the computer core and download as much information as possible. My scans indicate that we should proceed in this direction."  
  
"Suppose these nanoprobes are the kind which destroy technology, the Xindi could use them against Enterprise in the future. We brought explosives to destroy the computer core. We should destroy the nanoprobes," said Major Hayes.  
  
"That is not our mission," said T'Pol. "We don't have time to rethink our plans at this stage. We should proceed to the computer core as quickly as possible."  
  
"Once we have downloaded the information we could plant the explosives," suggested Reed.  
  
"Which would take more time than we have," said T'Pol. "We have no evidence that these nanoprobes are even harmful."  
  
"We have no evidence that they're not," said Reed.  
  
"We don't have time to debate this. We have our orders, the computer core is out main objective," said T'Pol.  
  
"We may not get this opportunity again, Sub-commander," said Reed.  
  
T'Pol paused, obviously turning over what Reed had said in her mind. "Very well," she said, finally. "Lieutenant Reed, Ensign Mayweather and I will carry out our primary mission, Major Hayes and Corporals Romero and Cole will plant the explosives. We will rendezvous at the cell ship as planned."  
  
"Yes, ma'am," said Hayes, Romero and Cole. Mayweather and Reed simply nodded. The two teams split up, Hayes and the MACOs planting the first set of explosives at their current position. T'Pol, Reed and Mayweather set off down the corridor towards the computer core. Almost immediately they heard footsteps coming towards them and had to duck into a storeroom to avoid detection. A squad of Xindi reptilians marched past them, completely unaware of their presence in the darkened room. Reed hoped that Hayes and the two MACOs would manage to find an equally good hiding place when the Xindi reached them. Reed estimated about fifteen Xindi reptilians had just walked past them which would be too many for the Major and his men to deal with on their own.  
  
Once they were sure that the Xindi had gone past, T'Pol signalled for them to continue on down the corridor. They arrived at their first major obstacle fairly rapidly. The security around the computer core was very tight and in order to enter the room which held the computer core all the Xindi scientists had to pass a checkpoint. T'Pol and Reed had been aware that there was a barrier between the two areas but had not been able to scan sufficiently to work out what the barrier entailed. As they now saw, the checkpoint was a sealed airlock room which scanned the occupant and compared the scanned biometric data with the records of authorised personnel. It would be difficult to fool the system into letting them in and even if they could fool the computer then there were guards on the other side who would recognise them as intruders immediately.  
  
"What do you think?" asked Reed.  
  
"We should fine an alternative way in," said T'Pol. She scanned the corridor. "There are conduits above us that lead into the restricted section."  
  
"Yes, but they're full of nanoprobes," said Reed.  
  
"The nanoprobes did not harm Commander Tucker," said T'Pol.  
  
"That's no guarantee that these are the same variety," said Reed.  
  
"Can't we bypass the biometric scanner?" asked Mayweather.  
  
"It would take me some time to make the required adjustments the scanner, and we would still have to get past the guards," said T'Pol.  
  
"All we need is a few minutes to get to the computer core. If we short circuit the biometric scanner and shoot the guards, even if they get to the alarm, we should still have time to get to the computer and download the data."  
  
"If our scans are accurate and the computer codes are genuine," said T'Pol.  
  
"If they aren't then we might as well go home now," said Reed.  
  
"Very well," said T'Pol. "I will re-calibrate the biometric scanners so that we appear to be authorised personnel. Be prepared to attack the guards as soon as we leave the airlock."  
  
"Yes, ma'am," said Mayweather. Reed nodded and checked the setting on his phase rifle.  
  
****  
  
The nanites were very helpful in Trip's escape plan. He now knew that most of what had been downloaded into his head had come directly from the outpost. He was now in possession of a map of the outpost, radio protocols and codes to enter the base. Trip had also realised that since their communication with the Xindi outpost the nanites were being much more forthcoming with information about their own functionality. It hadn't taken him long to work out that he couldn't take down the guard through brute force, he wasn't up to that yet. The nanites had explained that in the same way that they had accidentally shocked him they could direct their electrical energy to act as a sort of biological tazer. All Trip had to do was touch the guard and they would do the rest.  
  
Trip picked up his crutches and made his way to the door. He pressed the button beside the door and it opened.  
  
"Ensign, I could do with a hand here. Would you mind just coming in for a second?" he said, putting on his best Trip Tucker smile and congenial southern manner. Trip recognised him as Ensign Prior, one of Reed's security staff. Earlier in the day one of the MACOs had been on guard duty and he certainly wouldn't have fancied his chances with persuading him to abandon his post, but Ensign Prior knew the Commander well and would therefore be far more likely to do him a "favour" without suspecting a thing.  
  
"Of course, Commander," said Ensign Prior, returning Trip's smile. As soon as the Ensign was through the door Trip had his hand on his arm, ostensibly to steady himself as he put the crutches down.  
  
"Now," he told the nanites and they did their stuff. Within seconds Ensign Prior lay on the floor, stunned by the jolt of electricity that had just passed through his body. Trip left him where he fell, he didn't have the time or strength to move the security officer. Besides that the nanites were telling him what to do next and he had to do what they said. He went to his computer terminal and the nanites interfaced with the system. He watched as they shut down the sensors along the path he would need to take to the shuttle bay and locked out the bridge controls to the launch bay. When he got there all he'd need to do was a little manual rewiring and no one would be able to stop him from taking off, it was easy. It had taken the nanites seconds to do what Trip himself would have taken at least fifteen minutes to do, and that was assuming they hadn't locked out his command codes. Trip also got them to disable a few other systems while they were at it that he knew would come in handy later.  
  
Trip opened his door again and after checking the corridor, he picked up his crutches and made his way to the turbo lift as rapidly as he could. He didn't meet anyone and a turbo lift was waiting for him when he reached the end of the corridor.  
  
"I suppose you arranged for the waiting turbo lift?" he asked the nanites.  
  
"Yes," they replied. "We're in a hurry."  
  
He got in and keyed for the launch bay. It was only a few minutes before the doors opened on E deck and he was nearly at his destination. He was still surprised by how easy the whole operation was being, he told himself to have a word with Malcolm later about security for the launch bay. For the moment he had to focus on getting down to the moon outpost. He ducked around a corner quickly as a crewman came down the corridor, he hoped he hadn't been spotted but he knew he could always stun him if necessary. It would slow him down though and he didn't have time to waste.  
  
Finally he was at the launch bay. He went in and shut the door behind him, taking care to double lock it and, to make sure, he pulled out a couple of wires that were vital to the door's workings. It would take a couple of Engineers a few minutes at least to repair that by which time he'd be long gone. He went to the control console and let the nanites cancel all the security protocols which would have prevented him from leaving without clearance from the bridge. Then he climbed inside shuttlepod one, shut the door behind him and sat down in the pilot's seat. The nanites overrode more security protocols and opened the launch bay doors. He started up the pod and prepared to takeoff.  
  
Trip caught sight of his own reflection in the window of the shuttlepod, his eyes shining silver. For a moment his true self reasserted itself and told him how unnatural that was, but then the nanites reminded him of what his current goal was. A few minutes later he was leaving Enterprise and had laid in a course for the moon.  
  
On the bridge Hoshi had just told Archer that someone was launching a shuttle.  
  
"Shut the launch bay doors," Archer said.  
  
"I can't," replied Hoshi. "I'm locked out. It's Commander Tucker's security code."  
  
"Who's guarding Commander Tucker at the moment?" asked Archer.  
  
"Ensign Prior," replied Hoshi.  
  
"Hail him," said Archer. Hoshi tried to raise the Ensign without success.  
  
"He's not responding, sir," said Hoshi.  
  
"Damn," said Archer. "It has to be Trip. Hail the shuttle. Hess, see if you can get a transporter lock."  
  
Lieutenant Hess sat at the Engineering station. "I'll do my best, sir," replied the Lieutenant.  
  
"Channel to the shuttle is open, sir," said Hoshi.  
  
"Trip, I don't know what the hell you think you're doing but I want you to turn around and come back immediately," said Archer.  
  
"I'm sorry, Captain," came the familiar voice, "but I have my orders."  
  
"Orders?" asked Archer. "I haven't given you any orders." Archer didn't like the sound of this.  
  
"The orders came from the outpost and I can't disobey them, sir," said Trip over the radio.  
  
"Trip, listen to me. Those orders aren't real. They came from the Xindi. You have to listen to me, turn the shuttle around and come back to Enterprise."  
  
"I can't do that," said Trip.  
  
"Trip, you have to fight this. Don't listen to them, you're about to betray Enterprise. After everything you went through to protect us, you can't let the Xindi win like this," said Archer.  
  
"This is for the best, Captain. I can't stay on Enterprise. Tucker out." The last statement was said with such finality that Archer knew the conversation was over. He indicated to Hoshi to cut the connection.  
  
"Hess, can we transport him?" asked Archer.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir. Someone has scrambled all the transporter systems. I wouldn't want to risk using it again until I can perform a complete diagnostic," said Hess.  
  
"Can we use the grappling hook?" asked Archer.  
  
"It isn't responding to my commands. I'm locked out of the system," said Hess.  
  
"I'm getting the distinct impression that my Chief Engineer may have had something to do with that," said Archer.  
  
"He's about the only person on board who would have known how to disable all those systems," said Hess. Even she herself wasn't familiar with all of Enterprise's systems to that degree.  
  
Archer watched helplessly on the view screen as the shuttle sped away from them towards the moon's surface. He was out of options, there was nothing more he could do.  
  
**** 


	21. Chapter 21

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Trip landed the shuttlepod on the landing pad the nanites directed him to. He was met by two Xindi reptilian guards who helped him walk into the base. He knew where he was going, the nanites knew their way around. This was where they had been born.  
  
He felt like a passenger in his own body, only vaguely aware of his own surroundings. He was taken into a lab and sat down in the chair which awaited him. The reptilians fastened restraints across his arms and legs. In the centre of the room was a large transparent, glass cylinder that was about two metres across and reached up to the ceiling. The cylinder contained a black liquid which undulated in a strange manner, almost as if it was alive. Clear pipes led out of the cylinder, along which the black liquid moved. A Xindi sloth came into view, he held a small device in his hand which Trip recognised as a remote control. He pressed a button and the silver faded from Trip's eyes. It was suddenly as if Trip was waking from a very bad dream.  
  
"Homing program complete," said the nanites.  
  
"Son of a bitch! Let me out of here!" he shouted, struggling against the restraints. This couldn't be happening, he hadn't just stolen a shuttlepod and delivered himself to the Xindi. But here he was, once again in a Xindi lab, the one place in the whole universe that he didn't want to be.  
  
"Please remain calm, Commander, you'll only hurt yourself," said the Xindi sloth.  
  
"Like you care what happens to me. Who the hell are you and just what the hell do you think you're doing? Enterprise is going to realise something's wrong and come looking for me." He hoped and prayed that he was right about the last part, he couldn't go through the torture he'd endured before again.  
  
"My name is Ven Dath," said the Xindi sloth. "My father built the nanoprobes that now reside in your body."  
  
"You must be very proud," said Trip, sarcastically.  
  
"Yes, I am, even if he never realised their full potential. He misguidedly thought that they should be used for diagnosis and repairs. I re-engineered them to include their sabotage function. Of course when you conducted your little experiment you kicked them back into their original function."  
  
"How do you know about that?" asked Trip, in an angry tone.  
  
"Our earlier exchange wasn't just one way. The nanoprobes also sent me some of their diagnostic data. You're more intelligent than I gave you credit for, finding out that we used high frequencies to program the nanoprobes. That was never supposed to happen. But if everything had gone according to plan Enterprise should have been disabled as soon as you touched the first piece of networked technology, unfortunately they became active earlier than they were supposed to, a function of your bizarre human biology. We have been able to learn a lot from you as a test subject."  
  
"Test subject?" asked Trip.  
  
"Yes. Once my reptilian colleagues realised that you weren't going to talk easily using the usual methods they started looking for less usual methods. My plan was already nearly complete but I needed a human test subject to judge how the nanoprobes would behave in your bodies. If I'm going to infect the whole of your species then I need some benchmark data, which you will provide me with. I can now complete my study since you have returned yourself to me," said Ven Dath. Finally Trip understood the whole plan, he'd just been a guinea pig. Ven Dath planned to cripple the human race before the main attack by infecting everyone with nanoprobes so that all their technology would be disabled. No one would be able to use any technology, which included weapons. The Xindi would be able to walk right in and destroy the planet without even a fight.  
  
"What I don't understand," continued Ven Dath, "is why you didn't come back when you were called the first time. The ship that Enterprise destroyed was sent to return you to me, you should have left of your own accord but you didn't. Why was that?"  
  
Trip knew why, he'd been fast asleep thanks to Phlox's knockout drops and his friend's concern that facing a Xindi attack would be too much for him to cope with. Now the nanoprobes weren't controlling his actions he wasn't about to answer.  
  
"No matter if you don't want to tell me. The nanoprobes I'm going to take from your body will give me the information I need. Shame really, I could have fun making you tell me," he said and pressed another button on the remote control again. Trip jerked as electricity coursed through his body. It didn't make him feel any better that he knew exactly how the nanites were converting his body's own energy to use against him. He almost laughed when a small voice in his head apologised for causing him pain, the nanites were still talking to him.  
  
"I didn't think you'd want to make life easy for yourself," said Ven Dath. He went to a table and came back with a large needle. "This won't hurt a bit," said the smiling Xindi. Trip just wanted to punch him in the face but he still couldn't move. He used his anger to blunt his fear as Ven Dath put the needle into his arm and extracted a small amount of his blood. "I see that someone has done this before," said Ven Dath looking at the fading bruise on Trip's arm where Phlox had inserted a needle earlier. "We wondered how Enterprise managed to destroy the ship we sent, I think that I now have an answer to that question." Ven Dath removed the needle and transferred Trip's blood into another container.  
  
"While you've been on Enterprise the nanoprobes have been collecting information on your ship for me and my colleagues. It will only be matter of time before they identify the weaknesses and we destroy your annoying ship for good," said Ven Dath.  
  
"You're lying," said Trip angrily, but he knew that Ven Dath could be telling the truth. He just didn't know enough about the nanoprobes to be able to make a judgement.  
  
"You'll be pleased to know, Commander, that I've made further developments to the nanoprobes. The latest generation not only disable technology they destroy their host from the inside out after accomplishing their objective. Or at least I think they do, to be honest I'm looking forward to testing those out on you to see if they work how I expect them to. I have a few more tests to perform before we get to that though." Ven Dath pressed the button his remote control box again and Trip cried out as electricity ran through him. This wasn't torture for information, this was just vindictiveness, a desire to cause his human captive pain.  
  
"You bastard," said Trip, gasping from the pain. "I'm not going to help you destroy my people!"  
  
"You don't have a choice, Commander. You already have," said Ven Dath and pressed the button on the remote control again.  
  
****  
  
T'Pol worked on the biometric scanner while Reed and Mayweather covered her. The access panel they had located in the corridor was tucked away in a dark corner and T'Pol was having trouble seeing what she was doing. The subdued lighting also made it harder for her guards to spot potential targets and she was well aware that every second she had to take to reprogram the biometric scanner made it more likely that they would be found.  
  
"How much longer is this going to take?" whispered Reed, slightly impatiently.  
  
"I am nearly done," said T'Pol. "Perhaps you think that you could do it more quickly," she added. Reed said nothing and checked the settings on his phase rifle again.  
  
Mayweather thought he saw movement further down the corridor but when he looked again it wasn't there anymore, he was getting jumpy and he knew it. The sooner they got out of here the better as far as he was concerned. Reed and T'Pol both looked completely calm and he didn't know how they did it.  
  
"It is done," said T'Pol a few minutes later. Reed opened the door and the three Enterprise crewmembers entered the airlock, phasers at the ready. The room was bathed in red light and had no windows, it was only just big enough to fit the three officers in. Reed pressed the button that closed the door behind them and they waited while the scanner did its work. An indicator beside the door counted down the time until the scan was completed. A monitor on the wall displayed the biometric information in spiky Xindi script as it was collected.  
  
"Fingers crossed," said Mayweather.  
  
"I suggest you keep your fingers on your weapon, Ensign," replied T'Pol.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," replied Mayweather. His eyes were glued to the monitor beside the door which would tell them if the scanner had been fooled and accepted that they were authorised personnel. If they were discovered in the airlock, they wouldn't have a chance to shoot any Xindi who came for them. At the moment they were trapped, their only hope was that T'Pol had managed to convince the scanner that they were Xindi scientists.  
  
The count down completed. A green Xindi symbol flashed up on the screen beside the door.  
  
"I hope that means all clear," said Reed. He positioned himself ready for the door opening and T'Pol took up position behind him.  
  
They heard the bolts in the door click back with a reassuring thud and the door began to open slowly with a hiss of hydraulics. Reed didn't wait for the door to open more than a crack before he took the shot that was offered to him of the Xindi reptilian guard. As the first guard fell, T'Pol was already firing on the second guard who followed his companion down to the floor.  
  
The three officers headed down the corridor at a jog towards the computer core. They reached the door and encountered two more Xindi reptilian guards. The guards were taken completely by surprise and Mayweather and Reed took them down in short order. T'Pol was already working on the code pad for the door into the computer core room as Reed and Mayweather stepped over the bodies of the Xindi guards.  
  
T'Pol had attached Commander Tucker's electronic lock picking device to the key pad for the door and it was now scanning through all the available codes. It beeped to let her know that the lock was now picked. She nodded to Reed and Mayweather that it was safe to enter. Reed pulled the door open and suddenly an alarm was sounding loudly and red lights started flashing all around them.  
  
Reed swore loudly. "Sub-commander, get started on downloading the information. Travis and I will hold off any Xindi who turn up."  
  
T'Pol nodded. She was the technical expert, it was the logical course of action that they protect her while she carried out the mission. She quickly made her way over to the nearest terminal and began cracking the defences of the computer core. By her estimation it would take several minutes to gain access to the files they wanted and then more time after that to download the required data depending on the size and amount of files. If the outpost was as well defended as they had been led to believe from their scans then it couldn't be done; two men couldn't hold off a complete Xindi garrison.  
  
T'Pol heard phaser fire emanating from the doorway and realised that something would have to tip the balance in their favour if they were going to make it off the base with the information. She pulled out her communicator as she worked. "T'Pol to Hayes," there was no point maintaining radio silence now that they were discovered.  
  
"Go ahead," came the terse reply from the MACO Major.  
  
"Major, we have reached the computer core but have encountered resistance. We require a diversion. Are the explosives ready to detonate?"  
  
"Nearly, Sub-commander, but if we detonate them all you'll be killed. Even if we only detonate some of them then you'll be trapped," said Hayes.  
  
"We will find an alternative route," said T'Pol. "Detonate the low yield explosives and leave the timers on the rest. We will rendezvous at the cell ship at the agreed time, if we have not reached you by that point, then you should consider the mission a failure."  
  
"Understood, Sub-commander," said Hayes.  
  
"Await my signal. T'Pol out," she said. "T'Pol to Enterprise."  
  
"Enterprise, go ahead T'Pol," said the familiar voice of Captain Archer too quickly, as if he had been sitting waiting for them to call.  
  
"Captain, we have encountered resistance. I suggest that you position Enterprise for a quick departure," said T'Pol.  
  
"Okay, but we have another problem. Commander Tucker stole a shuttle and went down to the moon. We think he was under the influence of the nanoprobes. It's likely he is being held somewhere near you."  
  
"We may not have time to find him and leave with the information we are collecting," said T'Pol.  
  
"I understand, T'Pol. The computer files are your top priority but if you can, find Trip and bring him back with you." T'Pol could almost hear the emotion in Archer's voice as he gave her the order to treat Commander Tucker as an item of secondary importance.  
  
"Acknowledged, T'Pol out," she said. She looked at the piece of equipment that she was using to crack the computer's security, it was stalled. She would have to use the computer codes provided by Commander Tucker. She input the codes into the computer and she was given access to the required files. She expertly tapped on the computer's keys and began the download. She looked over at the door to where Reed and Mayweather were firing on all Xindi comers. She went to join them while the computer finished its work. She fired her phase pistol at an approaching Xindi as she squatted down beside Lieutenant Reed.  
  
"I have contacted Enterprise. There has been a further development, Commander Tucker stole a shuttlepod and has come down to the surface," said T'Pol.  
  
"What?" said Reed in disbelief. "The stupid fool. What the hell was he thinking?"  
  
"The Captain believes he was being controlled by the nanoprobes," said T'Pol.  
  
"I hate being proved right," said Reed as he snapped off another shot with his phase rifle, taking down a Xindi insectoid.  
  
"As do I," said T'Pol.  
  
"I'd better go and get him," said Reed. "Can you help me with a location?"  
  
"The Captain's orders are that we retrieve the data first and if we have time we try to locate Commander Tucker. Major Hayes will be detonating some of the low yield explosives to create a distraction that should enable us to escape. We will not be able to return the way we came, we will have to find an alternate route back to the cell ship."  
  
"We can't just leave the Commander behind," said Mayweather.  
  
"We may have no choice," said T'Pol.  
  
"Can you locate where they're keeping him?" asked Reed again.  
  
"Yes, I believe so," said T'Pol.  
  
"Do it. If it's anywhere near our route out I'll go get him, the two of you carry on without me. Get out with the data, I'll catch you up," said Reed.  
  
"Your plan is acceptable," said T'Pol.  
  
"How much longer before we have the files?" asked Reed.  
  
"A few minutes," said T'Pol. She went back to the computer terminal to check the download's progress and locate the Commander. "He is being held in one of the labs further down the corridor," she shouted back to Reed. "It is not a substantial diversion from our optimum exit route." She downloaded the map onto her padd to give to Reed when it came time to leave.  
  
"Sub-commander, we can't hold this position much longer," Reed shouted back.  
  
"The download is almost complete," said T'Pol. She flicked her communicator open, "T'Pol to Hayes, now Major." She shouted over to Reed and Mayweather, "take cover," before hurling herself behind a bench. There was a distant series of explosions which were followed by a nearer set of explosions and then a final explosion which was closer than the previous two. Most of the Xindi outside had been knocked off their feet by the explosion and several had been killed. T'Pol grabbed her equipment from the computer terminal, noting that the download had finished exactly when she had predicted.  
  
"Let's go," she said to Reed and Mayweather who were picking themselves up off the floor and dealing with any Xindi who showed any signs of moving. They headed off down the corridor, Reed taking point again. The explosions had brought down a lot of rubble and dust hung heavy in the air. All three members of the away team were coughing, but they didn't have to time to stop and rest.  
  
T'Pol handed Reed the padd onto which she had downloaded the map. "Please don't be long, Lieutenant," she said. "Remember the explosives are set to detonate in thirty minutes."  
  
"Don't worry, Sub-commander, I don't intend to take a second longer than necessary," said Reed and disappeared down a side corridor at a dead run.  
  
T'Pol and Mayweather continued towards the alternative exit that T'Pol had identified. Both of them desperately hoped that it wouldn't be long before Reed was following them. 


	22. Chapter 22

What Does Not Kill Us  
  
By Thalia Drogna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Trip was drifting in and out of consciousness when he heard the distant explosions which shook the whole room. Ven Dath had enjoyed using the nanoprobes to electrocute him and had employed them several times more before Trip finally passed out. There hadn't been any questions, this was just pain for pain's sake. He had discovered that Ven Dath liked to brag about his plans so, even though Trip had no way to use the information, he now knew more about the nanoprobes than he had before.  
  
The explosion pulled him back to at least semi-consciousness. Ven Dath was no where that he could see in the room, but tied down as he was, he couldn't turn around to look behind him. The constant shocks had made him weak since they used his own body's energy against him. The nanites converting his energy for their own use in small quantities wasn't a problem, but this had been a huge drain of power. He was exhausted and hungry.  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to communicate with the nanites. Their voices were very faint. He heard the "energy reserves low" message being sent to him, but their chatter was much quieter than usual. He wasn't sure if the nanites were really being quiet or if he was having trouble hearing them. Either way, he didn't think that it was a good thing. He felt himself drifting back into unconsciousness, when suddenly someone was shaking.  
  
"Trip," said the voice. "Come on Commander, wake up, we have to get out of here and I can't carry you."  
  
British accent, registered Trip. "Malcolm?" he asked as he opened his eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"Rescuing you, again," said Reed, untying Trip's restraints. "Can you walk?"  
  
"Tired," said Trip, fading out again.  
  
"Yes, but can you walk?" asked Reed impatiently, shaking Trip's shoulder.  
  
"I think so," said Trip.  
  
"Come on then," said Reed, pulling Trip out of the chair and putting a shoulder under Trip's arm so that he could support him.  
  
"Where's Ven Dath?" asked Trip, sleepily.  
  
"Who?" asked Reed as he pulled Trip towards the door.  
  
"The guy who brought me here. He's responsible for turning the nanoprobes into a weapon," said Trip. "That tank in the middle of the room is full of nanoprobes, they do all the maintenance for the outpost. Except now he has some new nanoprobes which kill."  
  
"That black liquid is nanoprobes?" asked Reed.  
  
"Yeah, billions of them," said Trip. "We've got to find the red ones, they're the ones that kill."  
  
"Where are they?" asked Reed.  
  
"He showed them to me," said Trip. "They're somewhere in here. He was going to use the nanoprobes to infect Earth and make it so we couldn't use technology to defend ourselves against the Xindi."  
  
"So when the weapon arrived we'd be completely defenceless," said Reed. "You have to admire its twisted elegance."  
  
"I'm glad you think so, Lieutenant," said an ominous voice from behind them. "Now please put Commander Tucker down, and your weapon on the floor." It was Ven Dath and he was holding a Xindi rifle.  
  
"Ven Dath I assume," said Reed. The Xindi bowed slightly but kept his eyes firmly on Reed. The security officer didn't have any other options immediately available to him so he did as he was told. He lowered Trip to the floor and then put down his rifle. Just as he did so Ven Dath pulled out a small black box and pressed a button on it. Trip cried out and writhed in pain on the floor.  
  
"Stop it!" said Reed.  
  
"Just a small demonstration of what I will do if you don't co-operate, Lieutenant. Sit down in the chair," Ven Dath said and indicated the chair which Reed had just moved Trip from. Reed did as he was instructed, waiting for his moment when he could turn the tables. Ven Dath went to a lab bench near by and produced a hypospray. Inside Reed could see a red liquid which moved in a bizarre way, very like the black liquid in the tank in the centre of the room. It didn't take a genius to work out that these were the red nanoprobes that Trip had spoken of and that Ven Dath intended to inject them into Reed.  
  
"It's a shame really that I couldn't keep you both as test subjects, but once the red nanoprobes get to work there isn't much left of the test subject. Of course this means I can continue my experiments on Commander Tucker," said Ven Dath. Reed looked over at Trip, he was still out cold on the floor from the latest shock. The idea of leaving Trip to be a lab rat after everything he'd been through appalled Reed, but so far there wasn't any way he could get out of this without getting both of them killed. Ven Dath tossed Reed the hypospray and held his weapon on him. "You're going to inject that into yourself or Commander Tucker will suffer. Understand?"  
  
"Yes, I understand," said Reed, holding the hypospray of strangely moving red liquid.  
  
"Go ahead, Lieutenant," said Ven Dath and then suddenly there was the sound of phaser fire. Ven Dath fell to the ground. Reed looked over to see Trip looking back at him, rifle in his hand. Reed leapt up from his seat and dragged Trip back to his feet.  
  
"I thought I was meant to be rescuing you," said Reed, taking back his phase rifle from the Commander's trembling hands.  
  
"One good rescue deserves another," said Trip, barely conscious. "Is he dead? I didn't have time to check the settings, he was going to make you inject those nanoprobes..."  
  
"Sorry, Trip, I think he's dead," said Reed. He knew the rifle was set to stun a Xindi reptilian and the Xindi sloth were much less robust. "You saved my life."  
  
"And if you hadn't had to come and rescue me again, I wouldn't have needed to," said Trip. "I really am a grade A idiot, aren't I?"  
  
"There'll be plenty of time for recriminations later, right now we have a shuttle to catch," said Reed. He put the hypospray containing the red nanoprobes on the ground, aimed his phase rifle at it and watched it burst into flames with a satisfied smile.  
  
"He took some of my nanites. They may have carried information about Enterprise in them," said Trip. "We've got to destroy those too."  
  
Reed looked around the lab. He fired his phase rifle at the contents of the lab benches until he was satisfied that all traces of the red nanoprobes were gone. Trip's blood sample that Ven Dath had taken was amongst the casualties. "Come on let's get out of here."  
  
****  
  
T'Pol had waited as long as she could, they would have to take off soon if they wanted to escape the explosion that was about to be set off and she still hadn't heard from Lieutenant Reed. It was at times like this that she wished for the punctuality and certainty of her fellow Vulcans.  
  
Her communicator beeped. "Reed to T'Pol," said the communicator.  
  
"Go ahead Lieutenant," she replied, her voice sounding calm but inside she was wrestling to control a number of emotions, one of which she was surprised to discover was irritation at being kept waiting.  
  
"I have the Commander but I don't think we can reach you in time. In any case I doubt we could squeeze both of us into the cell ship," said Reed, he didn't see any point in mentioning that Trip was having trouble just staying conscious and he knew they wouldn't make it through the forest in time. "I'll take him out on the shuttle."  
  
"Very well, Lieutenant. We will rendezvous in orbit."  
  
"Understood," replied Reed.  
  
"Get us out of here, Ensign," said T'Pol to Mayweather. The MACOs were once again packed into the cell ship and Mayweather started up all the cell ship's systems and lifted them off the ground as quickly as he could.  
  
"Any sign of the shuttlepod?" asked Hayes, his eye was on the clock ticking down the seconds until the second wave of explosives detonated.  
  
"They are lifting off the surface now," said T'Pol.  
  
"They're cutting it fine," said Hayes.  
  
The cell ship sped through the atmosphere, followed by the shuttlepod a few kilometres behind. Underneath them the planet turned into a raging inferno of flames as the high energy explosives that the MACOs had planted detonated in an impressive display of pyrotechnics. The force of the explosion hit both craft in a wave rushing out from the outpost. The cell ship was further from the blast and suffered less badly, but the shuttlepod took quite a hit from the detonation.  
  
"T'Pol to shuttlepod, are you intact Lieutenant?" asked the Sub-commander.  
  
There was a moment's delay and then Reed's voice replied, the sound of alarms in the background as he spoke. "We're okay, just a bit shaken. Best have Phlox standing by when we get back, Commander Tucker didn't have a very good time as a guest of the Xindi."  
  
"Acknowledged," said T'Pol. The ships flew side by side towards Enterprise.  
  
****  
  
Archer had taken Enterprise to warp as soon as the two small craft were back on board. He hadn't been pleased to learn that Trip had once again been tortured, nor of the Xindi's final plan for the nanoprobes. According to Malcolm, Trip had passed out as soon as he'd got back to the shuttle, and was apparently no longer under the influence of the nanoprobes. The mission had been a success though, they had the data from the computer, which T'Pol had already begun to analyse. And the nanoprobe threat had been neutralised. Mostly. There were still the nanoprobes that were inside Trip to consider and he would have to decide what to do about that problem.  
  
Trip was once again lying in his quarters, this time under heavy sedation. Phlox had diagnosed Trip with exhaustion and prescribed complete rest for the next twenty-four hours. He had also inserted a drip into Trip's arm to give him the required nutrition and re-adjust his unbalanced electrolytes. Archer didn't know how Trip could even function considering what he'd been through, and he'd saved Reed's life while they were escaping, something Reed had emphasised in his report. Archer suspected that the Lieutenant was afraid that Trip would get into trouble for stealing the shuttlepod, but Archer had no intention of blaming Trip for something which he obviously had no control over.  
  
It was late according to his chronometer and he really should consider getting some sleep, but instead Archer now sat in his ready room going over the various reports he had received from the away team. They were all clear and concise, as he had come to expect from his senior staff. He was always amazed at the way Lieutenant Reed could write how he had taken life and death decisions as if they were everyday occurrences.  
  
"I suggested to Sub-commander T'Pol that I retrieve Commander Tucker while she and Ensign Mayweather took the data to safety," was what Reed had written. Translation: "I decided to risk my life in order to rescue Trip, who once again had got himself into trouble, knowing full well that T'Pol might have to leave without us." Archer read on and got to another typical Reed understatement. "Commander Tucker had been injured and required assistance to make it to the rendezvous with Sub-commander T'Pol. Despite our best efforts, we were unable to make the rendezvous at the cell ship and instead returned in the shuttlepod which Commander Tucker had arrived in." Translation: "Knowing that the building was about to explode, I once again risked my life helping Trip, who could hardly walk due to being tortured by a vindictive Xindi bastard. He might be a bloody pain in the neck but I wasn't going to leave him behind." Sometimes part of the fun of reading his Tactical Officer's reports was working out what Reed had really wanted to say.  
  
He heard the door chime sound, he shouted for his visitor to enter. It was T'Pol.  
  
"It's late Sub-commander," said Archer. "What are you doing working at this hour?"  
  
"I thought I should bring you my preliminary report on the computer data. It makes for interesting reading, especially concerning the nanoprobes," said T'Pol, pointedly not saying the Archer was working equally late.  
  
"Give me a summary, T'Pol," said Archer.  
  
"According to Ven Dath's notes, it is impossible to remove the nanoprobes once they have become integrated into the host's system. In the experiments which Ven conducted the subjects died," said T'Pol.  
  
Archer sighed. "So Trip is stuck with the nanoprobes forever? He's not going to like that. And we have no guarantee that the Xindi won't use them to spy on us, or to capture Trip, or any of the other things that we know they can do."  
  
"It is true that we can't get rid of the nanoprobes but we managed to download information on how to reprogram them," said T'Pol. "I believe we can wipe their memories and disable all of the Xindi command functions. In effect we should be able to render them safe so that they will not be able to influence the Commander and he can return to work once he has recovered from his injuries. They will however retain their base programming and be able to carry out the functionality for which they were originally intended. Maintenance, repair and diagnostics."  
  
"So we wipe the slate clean and Trip is in control of what he teaches them," said Archer.  
  
"Exactly," replied T'Pol.  
  
"Okay, do it," said Archer. "It's the best solution we're going to get and I need my Chief Engineer back." Although he reminded himself that there was still the problem of getting his Chief Engineer to want to come back. Trip still hadn't set foot in Engineering since his rescue from the Xindi ship nearly two months ago.  
  
"Yes, Captain," said T'Pol. "I will see to it immediately."  
  
T'Pol left and Archer returned to reading Lieutenant Reed's report. He almost burst out laughing when he read the next line.  
  
"Whilst leaving the Xindi outpost the shuttlepod sustained some damage. Separate damage report to Engineering attached." Translation: "Almost every piece of equipment on the shuttlepod sustained damage, we nearly didn't make it home. When Trip comes round and finds out what I did to his shuttlepod he's going to kill me."  
  
****  
  
"Mah Jongg," said Mayweather.  
  
"I don't believe you," said Reed in a disappointed tone, "show us."  
  
Mayweather displayed his tiles to the three other people sat around the table in the mess hall with a grin. He had indeed got Mah Jongg and won the game. For the third time that evening.  
  
"You know, I think we should have stuck to cards," said Trip.  
  
"I was really close that time," said Reed.  
  
"Sure you were," said Trip, a little sarcasm creeping into his voice.  
  
"It's great that you've learnt the game so quickly, Travis," said Hoshi, casting a look at Trip. "Shall we play again?"  
  
"Might as well let Travis make it four in a row," said Trip, smiling at the helmsman. The four of them started setting up the tiles for the next game.  
  
"So, you must be happy to get the casts off?" asked Mayweather, trying to deflect attention away from his winning streak.  
  
"Yeah, except now I have to put up with Phlox's physiotherapy sessions. I swear I come away from them feeling worse than when I went in," said Trip, "and I'm pretty sure I never did bend in the direction he asked me to this morning." He sat with his newly mended foot supported on a spare chair and a walking stick which Phlox had thoughtfully provided resting beside him, he still found getting about quite tricky.  
  
"I know he's tough about the exercises but they will do you good," said Reed.  
  
"Yeah, but they hurt like hell. And I still think he's overestimating when he says I won't be back at work for another two weeks," said Trip. He still wasn't sure whether he was pleased or upset about the delay to get back to work. He was pretty sure that he'd put most of his bad feelings about Engineering behind him thanks to Phlox's counselling sessions, but thinking about it and going down to D deck were two different things. At least he felt more able to talk about things now. "Anyway, Hess has invited me down for an inspection tour tomorrow afternoon. I guess that will be the real test."  
  
He guessed that Hess's invite had been prompted by Phlox and was just another part of the Doctor's counselling. Everyone around the table knew how important that inspection tour would be for Trip.  
  
"If you want someone to come with you, I can make time," said Reed.  
  
Trip could easily have taken Reed's offer of help the wrong way and maybe, before the Lieutenant had pulled him out of the Xindi base, he would have done. However, now he took it for what it was, a friend offering support during what was going to be a difficult exercise. "Thanks Malcolm, but this is definitely something I have to do on my own. I think it's about time I reclaimed my own department, even if Phlox won't let me do more than look for another two weeks." He had had similar offers of support from Archer and, surprisingly, T'Pol, but had turned those down as well.  
  
"But what about the nanoprobes?" asked Hoshi, "aren't they going to be a problem anymore?"  
  
"Nope, T'Pol worked out how to wipe their memories so that the Xindi can't control them anymore. They shouldn't cause us anymore trouble. I would have been a lot happier if we could have just got rid of the lot of them but I guess I'm stuck with them. I'm kinda looking forward to finding out more about what they do. The files you guys downloaded from the Xindi computer core have a hell of a lot of stuff about Grenan Dath's original designs so I've got a lot of reading to do."  
  
"What sort of thing can they do?" asked Mayweather.  
  
"You want a demonstration?" asked Trip.  
  
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Reed.  
  
"I told you, they're completely harmless now. Get me that pack of cards we were playing with earlier," said Trip to Hoshi. He was still stiff and couldn't move all that quickly.  
  
Hoshi picked up the pack of cards that they'd left sitting on the table beside them. "What are you going to do?" asked Hoshi.  
  
"A card trick," said Trip. He fanned out the cards. "Pick a card, Hoshi."  
  
Hoshi picked a card. "Do you want to see it?"  
  
"Not yet, but remember what it is and put it back in the pack," said Trip. Hoshi did as she was instructed. "Okay, shuffle them." Hoshi shuffled the pack expertly and put the pack face down on the table. "Right, what was your card?"  
  
"Five of diamonds," said Hoshi. Trip picked up the top card from the pack and turned it over. It was the five of diamonds. "How did you do that?" asked Hoshi, her eyes wide in astonishment.  
  
"It's a trick," said Reed. "He marked the card somehow."  
  
"No, I didn't," said Trip smiling. "You want to give it a try?"  
  
"Why not," said Reed and they went through the same motions, Reed watching Trip's every move intently. Reed's card was the ten of clubs and when Trip turned over the top card from the pack, it was the ten of clubs.  
  
"Okay, I give up, how did you do it?" asked Reed.  
  
"Look at the pack," said Trip.  
  
Reed fanned out the cards. "Hang on a minute, there are two five of diamonds and two ten of clubs. How did you do that?"  
  
"I just got the nanites to change the top card of the pack into what you said, plus a little theatrics to make you think it was card trick," said Trip, grinning.  
  
"Very clever," said Reed.  
  
"They manipulate the matter somehow. I can't wait to get back to Engineering and put them under the microscope and find out how they tick," said Trip, smiling happily.  
  
Reed realised that he hadn't needed to worry about Trip's return to Engineering at all. His curiosity might get him into trouble but it was also one of his defining characteristics. Through all the fear and pain he'd endured, one constant would always remain, Trip would always be an Engineer.  
  
****  
  
The End  
  
****  
  
Although there may well be a sequel...  
  
**** 


End file.
